What's Going On........

[DianaB]

I thought that I'd just start a new post on all of this instead of putting it in what I was doing every day.

Dae Lynn's been talking to Damon on the phone in the evenings and things just keep getting worse. It's just showing her that things are really over and is actually helping her make her decisions. She was going to wait to file because things have been happening so fast but the way things are progressing she's going to go ahead. She's ready to get out and we're ready for her to be done.

The hard part is still Karlie and it's just breaking our hearts. We're going to do all we can to keep her but we have to leave it in God's hands. Dae Lynn is working with her on memorizing her phone number in case she'll ever need it. Our school counselor said he had a student once with a smiliar case and the step-mom who was a stripper took the student from the school......and the step-mom never got to tell her good-bye but the student went back to the step-mom when she was a teenager and finished school with her.

Damon's been throwing his weight around with Karlie. The schhol counselor is planning on talking to Karlie and Damon found out about it from a conversation Dae Lynn had with his sister. He was furious!!!

We found out that Damon is staying at Mark's house but is sleeping outside in a tent. We're a little concerned because Mark doesn't live too far from us. We're locking the house up at night and have Jason and Feyn on alert in case of any problems. We worry that he could be watching us from outside at night. We don't know that he is but it's a concern.

Bits and pieces are coming out that people have known and none of it is good. Dae Lynn has a friend that spent some time with Damon the other day when they put up the swingset and he said that Damon belongs in a mental hospital. He's going to tell Dae Lynn exactly what Damon said whenever they can get together.

Sigh......Things are a little crazy and I'm sorry that it's all so long to read. Actually things are pretty calm here. I think that Dae Lynn is convinced that this is the right thing to do and we are all supporting her.......even the friends that she's told. Just keep us in your prayers.

[gja1000]

Diana, you are very wise to be cautious. The friend who helped Damon set up the swing set picked up something from or about Damon, and I think his words are very important. I feel so sad for all of, this is so stressful. I clearly remember the tension when my mom mad dad divorced when I was three, well I don't remember when they divorced but he came to see me once afterward when we were living with my grandparents and I think my grandma was afraid of him because I remember the tension in the house when he came to visit. It was very upsetting. He never came again.

I hope you can get this all resolved quickly. The longer it drags out the harder and more complicated it might get.

[DIANE W]

Diana i have been worrying how things were going, I am sure Dae Lynn is going through a terrifying time, as are you all, but i do feel for her so much.

I cant imaging what it feesl like, i am sure all will work out for the best in the end, but i think it is going to be a very bumpy ride for a while. It is not like you are dealing with a sensible person, and he knows Karlie is your weakness too.

Diana just be very careful, and be cautious as well.

God bless you all.

[Janet]

I think you're right Diane for the family to be cautious. You never know what is going to break a person and the things they are capable of doing. You read of these things in the paper all the time. I'm glad you're keeping your doors locked Diana...I worry so much about all of you.

[JJJ]

Please be careful, you just never really know.

[judy]

This is so sad, Diana. It would have been wonderful if Damon had gone to rehab, and come home to be a good husband and father. Some things are not meant to be, I guess.

I have you all in my prayers. It would be best if Karlie could stay with Dae Lynn. You probably could have him declared unfit as a father, but then her mother would get involved, wouldn't she? Does she want Karlie?

All in all, I wish Damon well, but if only he had stepped up and acted like a man!

[DianaB]

Damon demanded at first that he was going to have Karlie for the weekend but ended up letting her chose who she wanted to be with because he knows we have a big Easter picnic. She ended up choosing Damon because she was missing him and she knows that something is going on.

Damon's sister came and got him then they came and got Karlie. Damon wanted to see Dean and spent less than 5 minutes with him. Karlie did have a good time with Damon and his sister and her family. I'm glad. We were worried for Karlie. He ended up keeping her last night because the kids didn't have school today and he brought her back this morning before he went to work. He bought her some gifts......nothing for Dean........and didn't even ask to see him either.

Dae Lynn's taken papers into the lawyer's office and is ready to file. She talked to the lawyer a little bit and will talk to him again before they serve Damon. She was going to wait but doesn't want Damon to get the jump on her and get custody of Dean while all of this is going on.

[judy]

I can't believe he doesn't want to see Dean!

I am praying that this works out for the best for everyone Diana.

[DianaB]

Thanks, Judy.

Glen went into town to talk to the sheriff......just in case there is any problem then he is aware of the situation. Glen's a little concerned because Damon was watching YouTube videos of hand to hand combat and how to disarm a person plus he has his military training. He warned Dae Lynn and I to be careful. He probably won't cause trouble but it doesn't hurt to be prepared. The only way he'll be trouble in my opinion is if he starts drinking.

[judy]

Diana, do you keep a gun in the house that you know how to use? I think that he will certainly start drinking again. He'll blame Dae Lynn, you and Glen too. Regardless, better safe than sorry.

He will get arrested again soon enough, and end up in jail again. At least he'll be out of the way for a while!

[DianaB]

Yes, we have some and they are ready in case of an emergency. I would hope that they would never be used though.

We just had Damon's parole officer here. She is suppose to check out the residences of the parolees and she wasn't happy that Damon wasn't actually living here but in a tent and that he hadn't contacted her about it. He's going to be in trouble for that. We spent some time with her going over what he's allowed and not allowed to do. She cautioned us to contact the sheriff if we have any problems because then it will go across her desk and she'll be aware of any problems. She was very nice.

[judy]

Good to know that she is available! Does Damon check in with her?

How is Karlie doing?

[DianaB]

Karlie is doing fine. Last week after Damon left she would listen to a book that he did for her with his voice reading it......over and over. She was also cried easily. One afternoon she sat on the swing and cried......Dean came in and told me "Sissy hurt" but when I went out she was just crying for her Daddy.

This weekend she's staying with Dae Lynn. Damon's going to his sisters but he's leaving Karlie with us.

Dae Lynn went and talked to him last night and told him that she was filing. She's mostly doing it so that Damon can't get Dean during the divorce. He's lost a lot of weight and I guess he looks bad. She came home feeling pretty bad and upset. She's really questioning what she's doing. Yesterday was really hard on her. I can understand why.....it sounds so trivial that we caught him lying about such piddly things.......but that's not the problem.....it's the lies. Sigh.....this is all hard!! I feel for her and I feel for Damon.......and the kids.

Damon's parole officer called and talked to him and he has a week to find a house to live in. She understood what was going on and I'm glad that she gave him some time.

[JJJ]

I feel so bad for kids when stuff likes this happens. I don't regret never going after my ex and asking for one single penny. I know it's different scenario than your family issue but never less painful for kids. Kids only have one childhood and it shouldn't come with problems like this.

[judy]

I agree Jessica. My first ex left when Jessie was 7 months old. He cheated on me, and was a pathetic huma being. He sent $50/month for a while, and when it stopped, I didn't care. I just wanted him out of my life. He would have been a really bad person for Jessie to grow up around!

He is now an alcoholic, and Jessie stopped talking to him years ago. Some people just have to be walked away from.

[DianaB]

Dae Lynn took Damon to town yesterday to look for an apartment. They found one and had to put down two references. The last place that they lived gave them a really bad recommendation. Dae Lynn came home so furious!! We had painted the WHOLE house and sealed cracks!! She lived with no heat or air conditioning and so many other problems when she lived there......none of which he ever fixed!! Then after the kids moved out they had to move back into the home!! There was a hole in a door that Dae Lynn offered to fix and they said to just leave it (it was a cheap trailer house door) and she had been told that it was alright to pay their rent any time during the month......he mentioned that there was holes in the doors and that they never paid their rent on time!!! It ends up that we have friends that work in the office where they're trying to rent so they're going to explain it to the owner and leave it up to him to decide whether to rent or not. UGH......what is up with some people??!!!!

It's been rainy and cooler here so everyone's feeling sorry for Damon. Dae Lynn is really struggling with her decision but has decided to wait for a few months to see how things go. Damon is talking about seeing someone at a mental health facility. He really needs some help.

[Janet]

That wasn't nice of that landlord to do that. Seems that people can be so mean spirited. I hope Damon can get the apartment and that things will work out for him. I liked meeting him for just those few minutes, but he has a lot to deal with and get straightened out before he could ever be a good husband or a good father. I really hope he seeks the out the mental health facility. He'll just have to remember to be honest or no one will be able to help him.

I know Dae Lynn is a strong young woman and will manage. She has a great support system in her family.

[DIANE W]

Dae Lynn took Damon to town yesterday to look for an apartment. They found one and had to put down two references. The last place that they lived gave them a really bad recommendation. Dae Lynn came home so furious!! We had painted the WHOLE house and sealed cracks!! She lived with no heat or air conditioning and so many other problems when she lived there......none of which he ever fixed!! Then after the kids moved out they had to move back into the home!! There was a hole in a door that Dae Lynn offered to fix and they said to just leave it (it was a cheap trailer house door) and she had been told that it was alright to pay their rent any time during the month......he mentioned that there was holes in the doors and that they never paid their rent on time!!! It ends up that we have friends that work in the office where they're trying to rent so they're going to explain it to the owner and leave it up to him to decide whether to rent or not. UGH......what is up with some people??!!!!

It's been rainy and cooler here so everyone's feeling sorry for Damon. Dae Lynn is really struggling with her decision but has decided to wait for a few months to see how things go. Damon is talking about seeing someone at a mental health facility. He really needs some help.


Sorry but i dont quite understand, is the apartment just for Damon?

I agree it is so unfair when people can have power to say whatever they want, and then it is very hard to correct.

[Janet]

Diane I think the apartment is for just Damon.

[DianaB]

Yes, the apartment is just for Damon. And he did get it. He has the keys and took his camping stuff in and just dumped it. Then Dae Lynn took him to his sister's for the weekend. I'm not sure how that all came about. Dae Lynn has some food in the basement that they had before she moved in here and she told him that he could come and get what he wanted. He's not very happy about the apartment because he thought that he'd be moving back in here with her. Anyway it will make things a lot easier for everyone with him having a place to stay instead of a tent.

[Janet]

Did he really think he would get to move back in with you and Glenn? I thought Dae Lynn told him it was over. It would be great if they could remain together, but I'm for Dae Lynn being with someone who loves her and puts her and the children first. It's going to be a long time if ever for that person to be Damon.

I just feel so bad for a person that wants to do better, but when given the opportunity doesn't take it or screws it up. He just has to want it bad enough.

[DIANE W]

Oh..... i see now, i am so glad it is just Damon (even though he doesnt like it, its tough - life is tough, and the sooner he learns that lesson the better he will be).

I hope Dae Lynn, can start to back off a little now and let him get on with his life without her (its not her job to fix his life for him!!!!!) ........... I know he will be involved with the children always, but i do honestly think he needs to understand this is not a game, he is now on his own, and has to be responsible for himself. As does Dae Lynn, she too can try to get her life in order, I do feel for her so much, none of this is her doing, yet she has to take on all the responsibility of the children (i know she has her family behind her).

I am thinking of you all, i know it must be really tough on everyone:bighug:

[judy]

Good that he got the apartment!

I think it would be healthier for Dae Lynn is she backed off from driving him places, and giving him food. She has 2 children, not 3. I can understand that she still loves him and wants to take care of him, but she is going to have to separate herself from that role. Better sooner than later. It does hurt so much though. My heart goes out to her.

[DianaB]

At this point I'm not sure what she's doing. I hope things get settled down once Damon is settled in his apartment.

[Janet]

How are things going Diana? Hope the kids are doing okay with everything going on. I know Dean probably isn't affected near as much as Karley.

[DianaB]

Damon takes Karlie every other weekend so this weekend she'll be home. Damon has never asked to have Dean. He's missed out on so much of Dean's life that Dean really isn't very connected to Damon and Damon knows it and isn't willing to make the effort to fix it. Dae Lynn's really gotten on to him about it too.

Right now things have calmed down and settled into a routine. Dae Lynn's been seeing Damon a little and almost everytime she comes home mad at him. He is checking into getting some help......we'll see if it's just talk. She talks about getting back with him sometime in the future but then sometimes she's saying she's about done. She'll have to figure it out on her own and she has a good mind and I know that she'll do whatever's best.

It's really helped Glen by not having Damon in the house. I know that Jason, Amy's husband, still has some issues.....but I've found you can't please all the people all the time!!!

Dae Lynn's decided that she wants to go back to school and get her teaching degree. She has a degree in Biology already so she just needs a few more semesters to be done. She's planning everything out. There's a school that has classes in a town that's 30 minutes from us so she can still live here and get her schooling done. Her mind has been pretty busy on getting all the paperwork done for all of that right now.

[Janet]

Good for Dae Lynn!!!! What a great move to get her teaching degree! That will help keep her busy and realize that she is way above Damon. I just feel all giddy for her!

[gja1000]

That sounds like such a good idea! Dae Lynn is a smart girl.

[DianaB]

She is a smart girl.......and she's preparing to take care of herself if she has to. She is thinking more with her head right now instead of her heart.

[Janet]

That is great news, it's so hard sometimes to think with our heads and not our hearts. Too many emotions get in the way. Dae Lynn will be able to handle whatever comes her way.

[judy]

Teaching is so wonderful, Diana! It pays a consistent salary, you get health insurance, and you are home when your children are home. It is perfect for a single parent!

[DianaB]

That's what Dae Lynn was thinking too. She'd make a good teacher!!

[Janet]

How are things going for Dae Lynn now Diana? Does she have any idea of what she might do over the summer? Does her job pay her during the summer? I know...lots of questions. I didn't know if she was going to try and find a part-time job or attend school. Wishing her all the best.

[DianaB]

She has a job cleaning the church that will pay a little bit......not much but she thinks that she can make it on that. Then she's checking into student loans and grants to get her through school which starts in August. She's wanting to clean the church and have time to play with the kids because she's planning on being really busy when she starts school. She'll be taking a lot of classes so she's not planning on working at the school too. It will just be too much to handle.

As far as Damon is concerned......she sees him a little more than we care for her to.......but it's her marriage and she has to decide what she's going to do. Actually it bothers Glen quite a bit. They are having another date night on Saturday so they'll be going out to eat and to the movies. Damon has started some classes for his alcholism. There's a church that doing a program called Celebrate Recovery. My brother was involved in one in Bartlesville and it helped him while he was in it so we're hoping that it will help Damon. He has an accountability partner which is good as long as he calls him when he needs help. Only time will tell.

[JJJ]

I think it's great she will start school. Education will help her think more clearly.

[Janet]

I'm so glad she has a plan, that's the first step. It's still going to be rough on you though isn't it come August. She'll need you to watch the kids while she works at the church, goes to school and studies. You better get out now and enjoy the summer :) I know you'd do anything to help her, just remember that when you need time to yourself for whatever, to take it.

[DianaB]

You're right.....it will be harder on me. I'm not looking forward to it either but hopefully after the summer I'll feel more refreshed. Taking care of Dean isn't a problem.......but Karlie is a different story.

Dae Lynn talked to her teacher yesterday and she admitted that Karlie is a difficult child. She causes problems for the other kids and I don't think that she's liked very well because of it. Dae Lynn says that Damon was the same way when he was little. Personally I think that Dae Lynn needs to talk to the school counselor and see if he can talk to Karlie next year. He's a great man and VERY good at his job. It was nice to know that someone else sees the problems that we see in Karlie.

Trust me.....I'll be doing more this summer for myself. Since Dae Lynn will be here and at the church she can watch the kids herself. Now I just need to figure out what to do!!!

[judy]

At least he isn't living in your house anymore! I hope Dae Lynn starts school soon, but you need the other kids to help you with Dean and Karlie.

I think there is a point where it is not a good idea to be a hero! Get help from the rest of the family.

[DianaB]

I know that the other kids will help this summer but when school starts again in the fall everyone is busy again.

Amy has been helping to watch the kids more. She sees how hard it is on me sometimes.

[Janet]

I think your family is so wonderful Diana. I'm glad you're all close enough that Amy can see you need some help with the kids once in a while. You really are blessed!

[DIANE W]

Oh Diana... I am sad to hear Dae Lynn is still feeling like that about Damon, i know your hands are tied and it is her decision, but i feel so worried for her.

I really wish she was strong enough to stay clear of him and really move on with her life. One never knows he may change and be a wonderful husband and father in the future, but somehow i can only see heartache ahead..... how i wish Dae Lynn was away from him, i do understand he will always be part of her life and the kids, but it seems to me she has strong love still for him, despite his previous actions, and she cant distance herself from him, like she needs to.

Regarding watching the children.... oh dear where would she be without you all helping out all you do? Diana i know you dont have a choice, but you do need to have some ground rules i think, so that Dae Lynn can understand, how hard it is for you, and make sure she clears up after the children, you need to be definite in that you are going to take a break and plan to do things away from home as much as you can.

I hope everything works out for all of you.

[Janet]

Hope you all had a great weekend Diana and that this first week out of school goes well. Probably be a good idea to have some kind of plan everyday for Karlie. You know, a scheduled day like in school. Breakfast...make bed, clean room, play, snack, play, pick up toys,lunch, help with lunch clean up, rest by reading or something sitting, play, help get things ready for supper and the evening to do whatever. Except for bath and bedtime. She just seems like she needs some kind of structure. I know you've probably already thought of this, but just wanted to try and help. I want you to have a good summer.

[judy]

I think Dae Lynn needs to go through the process of separating from Damon, and it takes as long as it takes. She might even go back with him for a while, and then leave again. I hate to say it, but I do not think he will turn things around. It takes an enormous effort, and he is doing the minimum by going to this group. You really can't say that he will always be a part of her life because of the children either. My first husband was not part of my life, and in her teens, not really part of Jessie's life either.

One day at a time!

You might want her to do more to help with the kids, Diana. Does she have time to spend with them? She can set them up for the next day as far as things to do, etc.

[DianaB]

Judy, yes.....Dae Lynn spends a lot of time with the kids when she's home and shen she's home I try to leave all their care to her so I have a break.

This moring Glen made breakfast, which I don't usually have to worry about their breakfast, and Dae Lynn got the kids dressed. The kids have played outside until Dean did a face-plant off of the swings!! He was swinging on his tummy and I think, got top heavy and went over face first. He came in with dirt all in his mouth, nose, and all over his face......and scratches on nose and below his nose......Poor little guy! So now they're watching TV.

Having a structured day for Karlie is a good idea but also will be some work for me. I'll see how things go and if I need to that would be a good idea to incorporate in our day.

I think that at the moment Damon is doing good. He's not an alcholic in the sense of drinking all the time.....it's binge drinking probably a couple of times a year. So he CAN do good when he wants to. He has gone a year and a half without drinking when they were first married so he Can do better when he wants to. I'm torn between what I want her to do.......I'm just glad that it's not my decision!! It really shows how important it is to chose your mate wisely!!! If you were to meet Damon he's very likeable so it's hard to figure out what to do.

Dae Lynn spent all day yesterday with Damon and, I guess, Glen asked her about what she did yesterday and it set him off in a bad mood. Some mornings he's so grouchy that I cant' wait for him to go to work!!!! Today was one of those days!!!

[Janet]

Saw on FB that today is Dae Lynn's birthday. I did write on her page, but please tell her I'm thinking of her and wishing her a wonderful day!

[2tiredmom]

Diana,
I just got back on here today. You and your family are in my prayers. God only gives
you what he knows you can handle. You are a strong person. God Bless you. :)

[DianaB]

Thanks so much, Linda.

Well......Dae Lynn's going to move back with Damon one of these days. We're not sure when. Glen's not happy and is being an absolute bear about it but then he's a bear most of the time lately.

There is a house nearby that's for sale and they went and looked at it the other day. Dae Lynn said that she really thought it was too small and that she really wasn't interested but she came home really excited about it. I'm going to go and look at it with her this afternoon so I'm really curious about it. The yard is just beautiful!! There are flowers planted all around the edges of the yard and the river runs along one side. There's a bridge that crosses the river in front of the house so it's built really high above the river. When we had the really bad flood a few years ago....that house didn't get wet. So the kids are talking about buying it. Damon's Dad received insurance money when his Mom died and the kids all get a share of it......we hope. That's what they're planning on using for the down payment and hopefully, Damon's Dad will keep his word that he'll give them the money......if he doesn't.......well, the kids won't be able to get it.

The house is right down the road from Glen's brother, Mark, that Damon works for. It will be really handy for Damon to get to work since he can't drive. We found out that he'll get his license back in a year or two. He hasn't had one since Dae Lynn and he have been married.

Dae Lynn and Damon have been getting along but realize that living separately makes it harder on their marriage. Damon has been doing very good......no drinking, but he has gone for long periods before.......he's a binge drinker. We have a program that started in town with one of the churches that is called "Project Celebration". It doesn't have many people because it's just started but is for any kind of problem a person has in their life......not just drugs and alcohol. Dae Lynn went with Damon on Monday night and was really impressed with the program. For her it's getting help with dealing with Damon and his problems. Hopefully it will help them together. Damon's a nice guy. I DO like him but it hurts me to see my daughter hurt. I think that he's upset with me......and Glen for tossing him out but hopefully it was a lesson on how serious we are about lying and some of his problems. I also hope that through all of this he realizes how close he's come to losing his family and that will help him to do better.

Dae Lynn found out that her schooling is going to cost a LOT more than she thought it was going to. She was going to a satellite school of a private university. She's decided to wait another year and then drive to another college. It will cost more to drive but the tuition will be a lot cheaper. She's pretty upset by it all but it will work out for the best. God has a way of doing that!!

[Janet]

Dae Lynn has to do what she thinks is best for her and her children. Only she will know when it's time to totally cut it off with him. Maybe this will be the time that works and it would have been a shame if she hadn't tried one more time...especially since she loves him.

Maybe she just thought the house looked too small until she saw the inside. I sure hope Damon's dad follows through on his promise to share the money. That would be so nice to use on the house.

I feel bad for her that the schooling isn't working out for her at this time. But as we all know, there must be a reason....a better plan.

[DIANE W]

Diana.... As i have said in previous posts i feel so sorry for Dae Lynn and her situation, i agree with Janet it is only her that can make the decision to try again - i hope he doesnt hurt her again.

Glen is just probably so upset about her giving him another chance, i can sort of understand it if i am honest - i am not as forgiving as i think you are Diana, but then when you are involved and have a relationship with him, that has to alter your feelings for him, and as you said you do like him, just not what he had done.

I hope everything works out for them and you, as if they do move out and start their own lives independently, it will ease homelife for you a little, you can get your home back.

I really hope Dae Lynn and Damon make a go of it for everyones sake, including the kids, and that his Dad lives upto his promise of the money.

[judy]

I am glad that Dae Lynn and Damon are going to give it another try. They do have children together, and you just never know what people are going to do. Damon may find the strength within himself to turn it around. This group sounds very good. Support groups are so helpful in these types of problems.

I will pray for them.

[DianaB]

Thanks everyone. I really hope that things are better for the two of them this time. He should know this time that she really means that she'll leave him if it happens again and I really do think that he loves her. It's just going to take some time for the family to get used to the idea and accept him. He is still a very sore spot with some of the family which I don't like. I sure hope that "time heals all wounds" because this is going to take a LONG time for everyone to get over.

I got to see the house today.......it's nice but still an old house. It has a new bedroom that's been added on and is nice. The house has only one bathroom but there's room in the back to add on another one......and the kitchen is VERY small, but can be opened up into the dining area. It has possibilities. Damon has helped some people at church remodel a home and he did a really good job so hopefully if they get this he'll be able to do some of the work himself. I hope that they can work things out where they can get it!!

[Janet]

I hope so too Diana. Dae Lynn wants it to work and I want her to be happy.

[DianaB]

Grrrrrrr..........I get SO tired of Glen's attitude about Damon!!! They are going to KC tonight and staying a couple of nights and he is upset over THAT!! Every little thing they do he's upset over. Things were better for awhile........when I was upset with Damon too but now that I'm not we're at odds with each other. He's almost mean about things. My stress had gotten better but I've felt it come right back. Glen is usually so loving and forgiving but not about Damon. It's so out of character for him. I really wonder if he's going through male menopause.......he's so different from what he has been in the past.

[Janet]

Can the two of you get away so you can talk about it? Maybe get to the root of what's making him so angry? Maybe it's other things too and since Damon hurt his daughter, he's taking it out on him. Whatever it is, I'm sure he doesn't like feeling mean....you need to speak with him Diana.

[DianaB]

I just end up getting upset with him when we talk about Damon so right now it's best just to avoid talking to him about it. I think that Dae Lynn will move out before too long and hopefully that will make things better. I think that just seeing and hearing the every day things makes him upset. They both had a talk this morning and I stayed in the living room and out of the conversation. I'm afraid that only time will make things better. Who knows......when Dae Lynn moves out I just might go with her!!! Not really but sometimes I think that I might!!!!

[Janet]

I hope that Glenn can see that being upset and angry isn't helping him or his health. There are just some things we have no control over and we can't always make our kids see things the way we think they should see them.

If and when Dae Lynn decides to move back with Damon, I also hope the family will give him a chance. There is something good in this young man if Dae Lynn can see it.

[DianaB]

Ok.....Glen's doing better. I told him that he was being very unforgiving and accused him of being like his MOTHER!! He didn't like that one!! Dae Lynn and I can both tell that his attitude is better about the situation. I'm glad. I truly hope that Damon never does another thing wrong. LOL

[Janet]

That's great news Diana. Guess being like his mother kind of slapped him with a big of reality huh? Sometimes that's what it takes. I hope Damon too know how lucky he is to have you all.

[DianaB]

Thank you, Janet. That means a lot!!

[Janet]

Speaking of Glenn's mother...has anyone gone through her house yet? I remember being in there and how fun it would be ....just like at a flea market only better...lol.

[DianaB]

No, the house still sits as it was. I did mention that Brenda signed a contract with Althea to buy it before she died. No one knew about it but those two. Brenda has been home a couple of times but hasn't really done much about the house or the contents.

She had asked a long time ago about what the kids wanted and mine just wanted a few small things.......and Althea had some quilts that were to be given to the ones who had just gotten married and none of that stuff has been given out. I've have figured that I'm not going to get anything and as much as that hurts I've come to accept it. It just makes me furious that my kids are left out.......but that's exactly how my MIL wanted it.

There is certainly enough stuff in there that it could be shared with the whole family because she was a hoarder. I think that is why she set things up the way she did. She just couldn't bear the thought that any of her stuff was passed out. She had some real problems!

Dae Lynn and Damon invited Damon's Dad to come and look that the house they were interested in. He's offered to help on the down payment but when he got there he was a jerk. He didn't want to look at anything!! After he left Damon had crawled under the house and had some questions so he called Glen to come and look at things. It ends up that the house has termite damage......severely. The woman knew there was damage and had kept it sprayed but I don't think that she had ever crawled under there to see it. The kids ended up offering her a much lower price than what they had originally considered and she turned them down. I know that the kids are really disapointed but they know that the damage could be worse than you can see so they're feeling like they made the right decision.

I'm disappointed too. The house is a cute older home with a beautiful yard and is right on the river.....not too far from us. The house needed some work on it but was still in nice condition. Oh well.......things will work out!!!

Since Damon's Dad is willing to help with the down payment they're going to look into some other homes soon. Damon's Dad is really going through the money he got from Margaret's life insurance policy so they are probably going to get something soon or the money won't be there.

[Janet]

That's really too bad that Althea had to be that way towards your kids. I would think that Brenda could override that decision a bit and at least let the kids have something. Would she consider letting you help her go through things and take the load of work off her? Maybe she would let you keep some things for helping her out.

It does sound that Damon's dad may be going through it faster than one thinks. Not sure why he didn't even want to look at the house and be a jerk about it. Maybe he really doesn't want to help them out???

Hopefully they'll find something nice real soon. I know they are wanting their family together and I know you're wanting your house and privacy back.

[DianaB]

Damon comes from a very disfunctional family and his Dad just proved it to Dae Lynn and the woman who was selling the house. Dae Lynn was gone last weekend, if you remember, on vacation with Damon's family and she had plenty to say about the Dad!!!

I don't think that Brenda would let me help with cleaning things out. In their family being "family" means a lot. Althea was not a kind person......she was very selfish and she hurt me a lot but I can move on from it. The "stuff" was hers to do with as she chose but my family saw her for what she was and she wasn't very well liked. Althea ALWAYS had favorites and all of us could tell you who they were......her daughter's children.

I can understand getting along better with your own daughters than you do your daughter-in-laws but my grandchildren are just as much a part of her as her own daughter's children were. I hurt more for my kids than myself.....but you know what? Actually my kids don't care about her stuff!!! She cut her nose off to spite her face!!!

I know that when the girls start actually cleaning things out I will be hurt because there is just so much of it and who knows, they might ask if there's anything I would like out of what's left......but I'm not holding my breathe. Actually, I don't know if I would want Althea's things where I would look at them every day.

[Janet]

Oh Diana.....I'm so sorry this had to happen. You must be just heartsick over it all. Do you think Jason's story about the mom and son at the gas station was true? I'm really at a loss, I have no idea what to say. My family is so dysfuntional it's pathetic so I have no advice to offer. Wish this didn't happen, but since it did it's probably time for a family talk. If everyone has something to say, then maybe it's time to get it said and not on Facebook.

[DianaB]

Sorry Everyone but I deleted the post. I've been so hurt by everyone's hard feelings towards Damon and Dae Lynn and today's been a really, really bad day. I decided that maybe it was best to not air our dirty laundry after all.

Jason, Amy's husband, and I ended up at odds with each other today over a post he made on FB and we've been back and forth on the e-mail there.......and it has boiled down basically that they are jealous of the help we've given Dae Lynn and Damon. It even ended up where Jason said "Do you know how long it been since I could afford to go on vacation.." All because Dae Lynn and Damon went to Branson last weekend with his Dad paying for ALL of it......and they went to KC and went to the Schlitterbahn.......spent about $200 altogether. Jealousy!!!!

I'm so tired of all of this.......tired of people's attitudes......tired of my husband's attitude.......just sick and tired.

Janet, as far as what Jason posted.....it is probably true but was posted as a dig to Dae Lynn anyway......with that being his excuse. If you notice.....Tammy also posted a couple of things about food stamps today as well. Coincidence??? I don't think so.

[Janet]

I know this has to be so hard for you. They just don't realize that you would do the same for them if they needed it. I'm always here if you need me.

[gja1000]

Oh Diana, I'm so sorry all this is happening. I didn't realize Jason was Amy's husband. They are jealous. Jealousy is such a hurtful emotion. I wish it didn't exist. I agree with Janet, I wish he would realize that you all would do the same for them if they needed it.

I'm so sorry, this has caused a rift in your family. We all know it happens to all of us from time to time, but I just wish it didn't have to happen. I want everyone to get along and be happy to just "have" each other. It will never happen, but that's my wish.

[DianaB]

Thanks for your support, Janet and Gayle.

Yes, it is jealousy. Jason's upset because he can't afford a vacation. Dae Lynn and Damon budget for a vacation.......she saves her money for them to go places. Also the trip to Branson was paid for by Damon's Dad. How do you turn that down?......just because your sister and BIL can't afford it????

Then Amy made the comment that she was jealous that Damon bought Dae Lynn an iPad???!!!!! Amy and Jason have had help in the past from his aunt and uncle. They have given them computers and bought Jason a pickup truck. Yes, Amy and Jason's money is tight.......I don't understand why because they both have fairly good jobs. I do know in the past they haven't made good decisions in things that they've bought but as a parent you have to stand by and let them do that hoping that they learn their lesson. The 4-wheeler that we bought for them was because they were wanting one but we gave them the choice as to whether they wanted to pay bills or buy a 4-wheeler so that wasn't a good decision on their part. Should we bail them out of that? No, I don't think so......that was their decision......a poor one.

Damon and Dae Lynn have looked at a house and I think are going to buy it but we're afraid of what everyone's reaction is going to be. The house is more expensive than the other one they were looking at but it has a rental trailer house with it that will make most of their payment. Also the house is listed way below appraisal value. The woman is a friend of ours and she just lost her husband and it's just too much for her to take care of. We're just not telling anyone......including Glen......about what's going on. They'll just have to deal with their jealousy and problems. Dae Lynn and Damon have to do what's best for them.

I was in tears this morning because of a talk that Glen and Dae Lynn had last night. Dae Lynn was actually very encouraging to me. I'm going to miss her when she moves out......at least she won't be far away!!!

[DianaB]

Well.....I talked to Amy briefly yesterday and yes.....Jason put his post on FB knowing that Dae Lynn had an iPad. He DID see a woman paying with foodstamps and a child playing on an iPad so that was his excuse for posting it but it was a dig at Dae Lynn. Jason is the one who continually stirs up trouble for Damon and Dae Lynn. There is quite an argument over how much we have spent on her.....her schooling.....which she has a $20,000 loan to pay off.......there's a question about who's bought her cars.....we bought ONE.......I think that there is a LOT of jealousy and speculation going on and none of it is right and that's what's causing all of the trouble. We're going to ignore all of it and consider the source. Dae Lynn's going to stay away from Amy and Jason for awhile but as soon as they get their house it's going to all come up again.....because they are going to assume that we're helping them but we're not. Dae Lynn's not even going to tell Glen that they're buying it so he can honestly say that he didn't know anything about it. It's just sad. I'm so diappointed in my family sometimes and that's sad because they are really good people. :(

[Janet]

Seems to me that when Jason starts this behavior, Amy needs to remind him that Dae Lynn is her family too and that he needs to keep his mouth shut and innuendos to himself....not FB.

[gja1000]

Family!!! Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. That's not really true and I guess it isn't just family, but human nature. Jealousy is such an awful vice. It's one of the 7 deadly sins (I think). Why can't people just be happy (or neutral) for others fortunes. Not that Dae Lynn and Damon are fortunate by any stretch of the imagination, they have had so many struggles. But when things go right for a change, why can people be happy or just neutral. Jealousy causes so much strife.

[Janet]

So true Gayle. I don't understand why people can't be happy for each other instead of trying to knock them down. You'd especially want you family to succeed. Then...I think of my family who I haven't heard from (even though I've contacted them) and all my logic goes right out the window.

[DianaB]

I know.....it's so sad. Amy stopped by this morning and after talking about other things I asked why Jason thinks that we bought several cars for Dae Lynn.....which isn't true (We finished paying for ONE car while she was in college) well, it brought the WHOLE thing up. Amy said that Jason was even threatening about moving because I had pointed out that we had helped them out by letting them live on our property.....and we weren't expecting any payment from them but that was our way of helping them out. The arguements are getting so childish. Amy also pointed out that Dae Lynn was trying to talk Glen into a vacation in Florida so he could scuba dive and she and the kids could tag along. I knew when she brought it up that it wasn't going to happen......but the "others" all were upset with Dae Lynn that she could sponge a vacation off of us.....which she offered to pay for her part of going. They are also upset that Dae Lynn often takes my vehicle so that I can "pay for her gas". I know that she does that and it doesn't bother me......it does bother me when she makes unnecessary trips and I do mention that. Sometimes she takes her own car which gets better gas mileage. She DOES have one of our gas cards so she's not paying for her own gas.....except for when she goes out of town with Damon. The arguement is about such piddly, stupid things like that. Amy also pointed out that it's NOT Damon that they're upset with......it's Dae Lynn.

In our discussion it was pointed out to Glen that his talking to Jason and Feyn about Dae Lynn's problems and complaining wasn't helping anything......so hopefully he's going to try and keep things either to himself or friends that aren't family......that will pray for us.

I'm ready for this to die down or get over with. I'm so tired of this. If you hear a loud noise it may be me SCREAMING my head off!!!!!

[Janet]

Go ahead and scream....I've done it and must say it actually helps...lol I'll be listening!

[DianaB]

We're trying to let things settle down. Feelings have been hurt and things have been said. I have to say that I'm very disappointed. Dae Lynn and Amy have decided to not be friends at the moment......mostly because Jason doesn't like Dae Lynn being around and having Amy's attention. They have always been best friends but I know that some men are threatened by family. This happens occasionally and it will heal over.

[DianaB]

Well, Dae Lynn and Damon made an offer on a house and it was accepted!!! They are so excited!! It's right on the edge of town and we drive by it everytime we go to town......in fact a friend of ours lives there!!! It has almost 7 acres.....a pond......and a really nice trailer house that is rented out. In fact the trailer rents for $400 a month and their payments will be around $600 so they'll only be paying $200 of their own money to make payments!! It's too good of a deal to pass up!!! The house is an older home......but it has three bedrooms, two bath rooms, and a sun room!! She's not too excited about the sun room though because it's hot and cold. There's a lot of room for chickens, and their goats, and a garden plus room to spare!!

Today she's talking to the bank and getting her loan papers in. They haven't talked to Glen about it so that none of the kids can say that he is paying for it OR helping them out. He can honestly say that he didn't have anything to do with it. We had rumors go around when they looked at the last house and they came back to Jason......that we were buying the house for them. We don't know where it came from unless it was from the seller but Jason was pretty upset over it. He knew that we don't have the money to do that but it didn't make any difference he still complained. Good grief!! Anyway. the kids are being more careful about rumors and stuff this time. They're not telling hardly anyone until the house is theirs. I'm sure that they'll still have to deal with jealousy issues.

[Janet]

That's great news Diana and I'm so happy for them. I know they've been wanting their own place and now they have one.....all on their own. Let the others feel the shame thinking they couldnt do anything on their own and let Damon and Dae Lynn feel the joy! Tell Dae Lynn I'm so happy for her.

[DianaB]

Thank you, Janet. I'll let her know!!

On Sunday evening Damon quit chewing Skoal and every day this week he's been grumpier and grumpier. Today after I got home from garage sales Dae Lynn was on the phone with Damon. When she got off I could tell she was grouchy......she told me that she was going to town.....so I asked what she was going to do.......and she's going to go and buy Skoal for Damon!! I think that she's reached her limit with him trying to go off of the stuff!!! With all that's been going on she really doesn't need him to be grouchy!!!

[Janet]

I hope she doesn't buy it. If he was trying to get through it and she buys it, then he was a grouch for nothing...lol...if you know what I mean. It's the same when quitting smoking, you get kind of grouchy until you get over that hump and then it's okay again.

[DianaB]

Yes, she bought it. Things are so stressful with family and buying the house.....and getting a loan that she needs him to not be so grumpy. I recommended that maybe next time he go to the doctor and get some patches. I thought that with them not living together that it would be a good time but not with everything going on.

Dae Lynn's working on getting a low income loan. It's a hassle but she's a smart girl and will get it figured out. She's got excellent credit history but Damon has horrible credit history and even has some things that were never paid for before they got married hanging over his head. It may not work out on the loan.....we'll see.....they said that they would let her know in a couple of days. Dae Lynn's up and down with all of this going on.

We're not telling any of the kids about them buying the house until they have got the loan and everything is set.....otherwise they'll hear negative things from the other kids. It gets so old!!

[Janet]

Well I hope things work out for her. Would it help to just have it in her name since Damon's credit is so bad? I'm sure Dae Lynn will do what is best for both of them. Have you told Glen yet?

[DianaB]

The loan will be taken out in Dae Lynn's name because of her good credit history. They should be getting a letter either today or tomorrow to let them know about the loan. I sure hope they get it. They deserve a break!!

Yes, Dae Lynn finally told Glen. Actually, they couldn't buy a house with a rental so Glen is buying the rental but it's with the kid's money. We're not paying anything. It's in name only so they can get the loan.....then we'll sign it back over to them in a year or so. Again.....they will be paying ALL expenses. It was a loophole that Dae Lynn found a way around. The guy she talked to told her she was pretty smart for figuring that out!!!

They'll tell the rest of the family as soon as they are sure they have financing. Glen's not happy about that but if they don't get the loan they don't need the rest of the family saying that they should have known that they couldn't do that......so tired of the put-downs and negative remarks.

[Janet]

I know how you feel Diana. Really Glen should be happy about it. Dae Lynn told her parents....it's really no one else's business what they buy. I'm wishing her the best of everything...I know she has to be excited and I don't want her to be disappointed.

[judy]

Good for Dae Lynn and Damon! Let the naysayers talk to each othere if they have what to say!

I wish them the best, and am keeping them and the kids in my prayers!

[DianaB]

Thanks Guys!!

Dae Lynn got a letter yesterday and it sounded like they were turned down but that they would work with them on getting the loan.......when she called that wasn't so. They were declined because of Damon's bad credit history. The credit place that they looked was different than what Dae Lynn looked at and it was much, much worse. Dae Lynn was in tears and I felt so bad for her.

This morning I have the kids and she and Damon are in at the bank talking to them. I hope that it's good news. They will be checking all of their options with them.......we have a great bank that we go to and they know Dae Lynn.....and Glen, so hopefully they will be able to come up with something to help them out.....in Dae Lynn's name, of course. I'm anxious to hear what they're finding out.

Dae Lynn got a really nice FB e-mail from the lady who owns the house, she's a friend from church.....and she told them how excited she was to have them own her house. It was so sweet of her.....she a very dear woman. I just hope it all works out.

[paula1961]

I sure hope that everything works out with the house for Dae Lyn. I truly believe that everyone deserves a second chance. And I am a firm believer in that when someone is down........you don't kick them. I wish them all the luck in the world.

[Janet]

Keeping my fingers crossed and heart in prayer for Dae Lynn and Damon. I do hope they can get the financing.

[DianaB]

They talked to the bank and it sounds like there won't be a problem!! They should know about the loan in a couple of days. They won't have to divide the property up to buy it either so they have to sign new contracts. The banker told them that if they come in and talk to him he will help Damon get his credit score up and help them get that debt down. They were very encouraged. Dae Lynn is getting really excited that this really will work out!! I guess that they won't be closing until the end of August though because that's what the seller wants to do. She's going to have to have an auction to get rid of a lot of stuff.

[Janet]

Yay!!!! I'm so happy for them. Maybe when Damon sees that things really can work in a positive way, it will help him to be more positive. Yay Yay Yay!!!!!

[judy]

Wonderful!!! God works in mysterious ways! It looks like this was meant to be!

[paula1961]

I am so happy to hear that Dae Lyn and Damon were approved for their loan. Wishing them and their little family all the best!

[DianaB]

It's official!! They were approved for the loan!! I'm so excited for them. The only thing is they are approved for a higher interest rate but if Glen would co-sign for them the bank would give them an even better interest rate. This was something that the bank offered because Glen is a good customer. In the end it would save them $100 a month or $20,000 over the next 20 years. I had talked to Glen about co-signing for them before and he said that he wouldn't do it so I'm not sure if he will or not. Glen told Dae Lynn that he'll have to get approval from the rest of the family before he'll do it. I'm really upset with him. We just seem to be on opposite sides of everything anymore.

Janet, is your house still for rent??? Just kidding.......I think. I'm getting pretty fed up.

[Janet]

That sucks Diana...why is it any of the rest of the families business? Is Glen going to have them show Dae Lynn their finances? Tell him he's wrong...then run!

Sorry Diana but we have rented the house. They move in next weekend. BUT......I'll kick Rick out and you can have his room....lol

I'm so happy for Dae Lynn and Damon, I really hope this is the beginning of a much better relationship for them and that the dreams they have come true.

[DIANE W]

Diana.... i am so happy for Dae Lynn and Damon, i am praying that this gives him the stability he needs and he shows everyone that doubted him, that he is going to do good.

I bet she is so excited, she can now plan some of the rooms, and it will be good for them to be alone as a family too.

Regarding Glen.... maybe he just has doubts about Damon's commitment and is afraid he will end up footing the bill, if things go wrong with them again? I am only guessing, and maybe he is afraid the other family members will say he is favoring Dae Lynn, in some way.
Maybe they should just accept to pay the higher rate, and then in a few years, when they are prooved at the bank, they can re-mortgage for a better rate of loan. That way it ramains none of the families business, they will have done it all on their own.

Oh Diana, i so hope it all works out and the family can get settled, and you can get your house back too.

[JJJ]

Diana I know it's rough but I wouldn't sign either, there two adults and they need to take care of their finances. It's his credit on risk so I don't blame him one bit.

I started with high interest and in a few years like Diane say's they can go get a better rate.

[DianaB]

Diane......you've hit the nail on the head!! That's exactly what's going on.

Glen has talked to Feyn and Amy's family and they were very supportive of them getting the house. I was surprised but happy about that.

The thing now is whether Glen will sign or not.......and he and Dae Lynn are in the kitchen right now debating on the issue. I'm staying out of it. It's Glen's decision because if I put my two cents in it may come back and bite me in the butt later and I would NEVER hear the end of it. I'll be glad when this is all said and done.

One thing about Dae Lynn is she can hold her ground with Glen. She's telling him like it is.......wish all of you could hear her telling him about stuff!!!

[Janet]

You all did a great job with Dae Lynn. I sure wish I had her determination!

[judy]

This will all work out in the end! I am so happy for them!

[DIANE W]

Diane......you've hit the nail on the head!! That's exactly what's going on.

Glen has talked to Feyn and Amy's family and they were very supportive of them getting the house. I was surprised but happy about that.

The thing now is whether Glen will sign or not.......and he and Dae Lynn are in the kitchen right now debating on the issue. I'm staying out of it. It's Glen's decision because if I put my two cents in it may come back and bite me in the butt later and I would NEVER hear the end of it. I'll be glad when this is all said and done.

One thing about Dae Lynn is she can hold her ground with Glen. She's telling him like it is.......wish all of you could hear her telling him about stuff!!!

I am sure they will work it out one way or the other, I do sort of see it from Glen's point of view, (i have told you before - you are far more forgiving than i am), it is hard, i am sure he would do anything for Dae Lynn, but its not just her is it, in this instance, and Damon has a lot of work to do getting the respect and love back. It will take time, but either way - they will have their own HOME, and that is a brilliant thing for them as a family and you too.

[DianaB]

I got to finally see the house yesterday!! It's very nice.......not a new house by any means but is a very nice older house. Nancy was there to show it to us. You could tell that she is having a hard time with her husband gone........she's such a sweet lady. She is very tickled that Dae Lynn and Damon is getting the house and she's known all about Damon's problems and is hoping that this will help give them a chance.

Damon got the down payment from his Dad and the money has been deposited in the bank!! And......Glen said that he would co-sign for them. I totally left the decision up to him. He did have a talk to Dae Lynn about it and there are some rules that will apply should they fall behind in their payments. Everything is working out!! The bank will have their paperwork done in a couple of weeks......then Nancy needs some time to have a garage sale to get rid of things (she's decided not to have an auction).....then once she gets moved it will be theirs!! Sometime near the end of August!!! Yay!!!!

[Janet]

That is such wonderful news and I'm thrilled for Dae Lynn and Damon!

[judy]

Congratulations to them!!!

(and to you too...now you will have some freedom!)

[Janet]

I hope it cools down a bit for Kansas so it won't be too hot for Dae Lynn and Damon to move to their new home. She has got to be soooo looking forward to it. It was great that you had a basement to store her things in. It would have been awful to try and find furnishings plus buy a house. Maybe I should ask about the rent for the mobile home???? LOL

[DianaB]

About the trailer, Janet......they are staying so it's rented. Sorry!!

Dae Lynn bought a new stove while we were gone this weekend. They stopped at a local Sears and there was one on clearance plus they got 10% off. When Glen found out he started lecturing her AGAIN. After Dae Lynn went to clean the church I asked him to PLEASE stop doing that because it causes me a lot of stress. He just goes over and over and over the same thing every day with her. She's a smart girl and she will do well. I'm hoping that he'll listen to me and that will be the end of his lecturing her or I won't be so pleasant about it next time!!

The stove is very nice.....nothing fancy. It is stainless steel but it does't have any bells or whistles. She had been checking on Craig's list and this was just a little more than buying a used stove. I think that she did pretty good.

[Janet]

I sure hope things settle down a bit after they move. She probably feels like she's being attacked.

I do hope you know I was kidding about the mobile home / trailer whatever it is. I lived in one once and will try my hardest not to do that again....lol.

[DianaB]

I know that you were kidding, as was I......I think!!

This morning was soooo much better!! Glen didn't get on Dae Lynn's case at all and breakfast was actually enjoyable!! Hopefully he'll keep his mouth shut a little more often and keep the peace around here!!

[Janet]

I hope so too. I bet Dae Lynn can hardly wait until moving day.........you too. :)

[judy]

When are they moving into the house? The sooner, the better, so that Dae Lyn doesn't get discouraged if Glen keeps up the negativity.

I can understand his concern, but as Dr. Phil asks, "And, how is that working for you?" It will just push her away, and you and Glen do not want that!

[DianaB]

They are closing on the house on August 18th. Three weeks. In some ways I can't wait and in other ways I'm really sad about it.

Yes, Dae Lynn is so excited!! We talk about it a lot. What she wants to do and how she wants to decorate......etc.....

Glen's been doing really good. It's been so much more peacelful since he's been keeping his mouth shut to Dae Lynn. He does have her worn down and worried. I told him yesterday and he needs to tell her sometime that he's proud of her. The girls......alll three of them......really look to their father for advice and his approval and so Dae Lynn's been really hurt feeling that she hasn't had that. I talked to him about it and recommended that he start giving her some compliments and lift her up. I asked him to do it in his own time so it doesn't look like I asked him to do it.

[Janet]

I hope he does it soon Diana. Knowing her father is still proud of her would go a long long way I'm sure.