Oh Diana... I am sad to hear Dae Lynn is still feeling like that about Damon, i know your hands are tied and it is her decision, but i feel so worried for her.

I really wish she was strong enough to stay clear of him and really move on with her life. One never knows he may change and be a wonderful husband and father in the future, but somehow i can only see heartache ahead..... how i wish Dae Lynn was away from him, i do understand he will always be part of her life and the kids, but it seems to me she has strong love still for him, despite his previous actions, and she cant distance herself from him, like she needs to.

Regarding watching the children.... oh dear where would she be without you all helping out all you do? Diana i know you dont have a choice, but you do need to have some ground rules i think, so that Dae Lynn can understand, how hard it is for you, and make sure she clears up after the children, you need to be definite in that you are going to take a break and plan to do things away from home as much as you can.

I hope everything works out for all of you.

Hope you all had a great weekend Diana and that this first week out of school goes well. Probably be a good idea to have some kind of plan everyday for Karlie. You know, a scheduled day like in school. Breakfast...make bed, clean room, play, snack, play, pick up toys,lunch, help with lunch clean up, rest by reading or something sitting, play, help get things ready for supper and the evening to do whatever. Except for bath and bedtime. She just seems like she needs some kind of structure. I know you've probably already thought of this, but just wanted to try and help. I want you to have a good summer.

I think Dae Lynn needs to go through the process of separating from Damon, and it takes as long as it takes. She might even go back with him for a while, and then leave again. I hate to say it, but I do not think he will turn things around. It takes an enormous effort, and he is doing the minimum by going to this group. You really can't say that he will always be a part of her life because of the children either. My first husband was not part of my life, and in her teens, not really part of Jessie's life either.

One day at a time!

You might want her to do more to help with the kids, Diana. Does she have time to spend with them? She can set them up for the next day as far as things to do, etc.

Judy, yes.....Dae Lynn spends a lot of time with the kids when she's home and shen she's home I try to leave all their care to her so I have a break.

This moring Glen made breakfast, which I don't usually have to worry about their breakfast, and Dae Lynn got the kids dressed. The kids have played outside until Dean did a face-plant off of the swings!! He was swinging on his tummy and I think, got top heavy and went over face first. He came in with dirt all in his mouth, nose, and all over his face......and scratches on nose and below his nose......Poor little guy! So now they're watching TV.

Having a structured day for Karlie is a good idea but also will be some work for me. I'll see how things go and if I need to that would be a good idea to incorporate in our day.

I think that at the moment Damon is doing good. He's not an alcholic in the sense of drinking all the time.....it's binge drinking probably a couple of times a year. So he CAN do good when he wants to. He has gone a year and a half without drinking when they were first married so he Can do better when he wants to. I'm torn between what I want her to do.......I'm just glad that it's not my decision!! It really shows how important it is to chose your mate wisely!!! If you were to meet Damon he's very likeable so it's hard to figure out what to do.

Dae Lynn spent all day yesterday with Damon and, I guess, Glen asked her about what she did yesterday and it set him off in a bad mood. Some mornings he's so grouchy that I cant' wait for him to go to work!!!! Today was one of those days!!!

Saw on FB that today is Dae Lynn's birthday. I did write on her page, but please tell her I'm thinking of her and wishing her a wonderful day!

Diana,
I just got back on here today. You and your family are in my prayers. God only gives
you what he knows you can handle. You are a strong person. God Bless you. :)

Thanks so much, Linda.

Well......Dae Lynn's going to move back with Damon one of these days. We're not sure when. Glen's not happy and is being an absolute bear about it but then he's a bear most of the time lately.

There is a house nearby that's for sale and they went and looked at it the other day. Dae Lynn said that she really thought it was too small and that she really wasn't interested but she came home really excited about it. I'm going to go and look at it with her this afternoon so I'm really curious about it. The yard is just beautiful!! There are flowers planted all around the edges of the yard and the river runs along one side. There's a bridge that crosses the river in front of the house so it's built really high above the river. When we had the really bad flood a few years ago....that house didn't get wet. So the kids are talking about buying it. Damon's Dad received insurance money when his Mom died and the kids all get a share of it......we hope. That's what they're planning on using for the down payment and hopefully, Damon's Dad will keep his word that he'll give them the money......if he doesn't.......well, the kids won't be able to get it.

The house is right down the road from Glen's brother, Mark, that Damon works for. It will be really handy for Damon to get to work since he can't drive. We found out that he'll get his license back in a year or two. He hasn't had one since Dae Lynn and he have been married.

Dae Lynn and Damon have been getting along but realize that living separately makes it harder on their marriage. Damon has been doing very good......no drinking, but he has gone for long periods before.......he's a binge drinker. We have a program that started in town with one of the churches that is called "Project Celebration". It doesn't have many people because it's just started but is for any kind of problem a person has in their life......not just drugs and alcohol. Dae Lynn went with Damon on Monday night and was really impressed with the program. For her it's getting help with dealing with Damon and his problems. Hopefully it will help them together. Damon's a nice guy. I DO like him but it hurts me to see my daughter hurt. I think that he's upset with me......and Glen for tossing him out but hopefully it was a lesson on how serious we are about lying and some of his problems. I also hope that through all of this he realizes how close he's come to losing his family and that will help him to do better.

Dae Lynn found out that her schooling is going to cost a LOT more than she thought it was going to. She was going to a satellite school of a private university. She's decided to wait another year and then drive to another college. It will cost more to drive but the tuition will be a lot cheaper. She's pretty upset by it all but it will work out for the best. God has a way of doing that!!

Dae Lynn has to do what she thinks is best for her and her children. Only she will know when it's time to totally cut it off with him. Maybe this will be the time that works and it would have been a shame if she hadn't tried one more time...especially since she loves him.

Maybe she just thought the house looked too small until she saw the inside. I sure hope Damon's dad follows through on his promise to share the money. That would be so nice to use on the house.

I feel bad for her that the schooling isn't working out for her at this time. But as we all know, there must be a reason....a better plan.

Diana.... As i have said in previous posts i feel so sorry for Dae Lynn and her situation, i agree with Janet it is only her that can make the decision to try again - i hope he doesnt hurt her again.

Glen is just probably so upset about her giving him another chance, i can sort of understand it if i am honest - i am not as forgiving as i think you are Diana, but then when you are involved and have a relationship with him, that has to alter your feelings for him, and as you said you do like him, just not what he had done.

I hope everything works out for them and you, as if they do move out and start their own lives independently, it will ease homelife for you a little, you can get your home back.

I really hope Dae Lynn and Damon make a go of it for everyones sake, including the kids, and that his Dad lives upto his promise of the money.

I am glad that Dae Lynn and Damon are going to give it another try. They do have children together, and you just never know what people are going to do. Damon may find the strength within himself to turn it around. This group sounds very good. Support groups are so helpful in these types of problems.

I will pray for them.

Thanks everyone. I really hope that things are better for the two of them this time. He should know this time that she really means that she'll leave him if it happens again and I really do think that he loves her. It's just going to take some time for the family to get used to the idea and accept him. He is still a very sore spot with some of the family which I don't like. I sure hope that "time heals all wounds" because this is going to take a LONG time for everyone to get over.

I got to see the house today.......it's nice but still an old house. It has a new bedroom that's been added on and is nice. The house has only one bathroom but there's room in the back to add on another one......and the kitchen is VERY small, but can be opened up into the dining area. It has possibilities. Damon has helped some people at church remodel a home and he did a really good job so hopefully if they get this he'll be able to do some of the work himself. I hope that they can work things out where they can get it!!

I hope so too Diana. Dae Lynn wants it to work and I want her to be happy.

Grrrrrrr..........I get SO tired of Glen's attitude about Damon!!! They are going to KC tonight and staying a couple of nights and he is upset over THAT!! Every little thing they do he's upset over. Things were better for awhile........when I was upset with Damon too but now that I'm not we're at odds with each other. He's almost mean about things. My stress had gotten better but I've felt it come right back. Glen is usually so loving and forgiving but not about Damon. It's so out of character for him. I really wonder if he's going through male menopause.......he's so different from what he has been in the past.

Can the two of you get away so you can talk about it? Maybe get to the root of what's making him so angry? Maybe it's other things too and since Damon hurt his daughter, he's taking it out on him. Whatever it is, I'm sure he doesn't like feeling mean....you need to speak with him Diana.

I just end up getting upset with him when we talk about Damon so right now it's best just to avoid talking to him about it. I think that Dae Lynn will move out before too long and hopefully that will make things better. I think that just seeing and hearing the every day things makes him upset. They both had a talk this morning and I stayed in the living room and out of the conversation. I'm afraid that only time will make things better. Who knows......when Dae Lynn moves out I just might go with her!!! Not really but sometimes I think that I might!!!!

I hope that Glenn can see that being upset and angry isn't helping him or his health. There are just some things we have no control over and we can't always make our kids see things the way we think they should see them.

If and when Dae Lynn decides to move back with Damon, I also hope the family will give him a chance. There is something good in this young man if Dae Lynn can see it.

Ok.....Glen's doing better. I told him that he was being very unforgiving and accused him of being like his MOTHER!! He didn't like that one!! Dae Lynn and I can both tell that his attitude is better about the situation. I'm glad. I truly hope that Damon never does another thing wrong. LOL

That's great news Diana. Guess being like his mother kind of slapped him with a big of reality huh? Sometimes that's what it takes. I hope Damon too know how lucky he is to have you all.

Thank you, Janet. That means a lot!!

Speaking of Glenn's mother...has anyone gone through her house yet? I remember being in there and how fun it would be ....just like at a flea market only better...lol.

No, the house still sits as it was. I did mention that Brenda signed a contract with Althea to buy it before she died. No one knew about it but those two. Brenda has been home a couple of times but hasn't really done much about the house or the contents.

She had asked a long time ago about what the kids wanted and mine just wanted a few small things.......and Althea had some quilts that were to be given to the ones who had just gotten married and none of that stuff has been given out. I've have figured that I'm not going to get anything and as much as that hurts I've come to accept it. It just makes me furious that my kids are left out.......but that's exactly how my MIL wanted it.

There is certainly enough stuff in there that it could be shared with the whole family because she was a hoarder. I think that is why she set things up the way she did. She just couldn't bear the thought that any of her stuff was passed out. She had some real problems!

Dae Lynn and Damon invited Damon's Dad to come and look that the house they were interested in. He's offered to help on the down payment but when he got there he was a jerk. He didn't want to look at anything!! After he left Damon had crawled under the house and had some questions so he called Glen to come and look at things. It ends up that the house has termite damage......severely. The woman knew there was damage and had kept it sprayed but I don't think that she had ever crawled under there to see it. The kids ended up offering her a much lower price than what they had originally considered and she turned them down. I know that the kids are really disapointed but they know that the damage could be worse than you can see so they're feeling like they made the right decision.

I'm disappointed too. The house is a cute older home with a beautiful yard and is right on the river.....not too far from us. The house needed some work on it but was still in nice condition. Oh well.......things will work out!!!

Since Damon's Dad is willing to help with the down payment they're going to look into some other homes soon. Damon's Dad is really going through the money he got from Margaret's life insurance policy so they are probably going to get something soon or the money won't be there.

That's really too bad that Althea had to be that way towards your kids. I would think that Brenda could override that decision a bit and at least let the kids have something. Would she consider letting you help her go through things and take the load of work off her? Maybe she would let you keep some things for helping her out.

It does sound that Damon's dad may be going through it faster than one thinks. Not sure why he didn't even want to look at the house and be a jerk about it. Maybe he really doesn't want to help them out???

Hopefully they'll find something nice real soon. I know they are wanting their family together and I know you're wanting your house and privacy back.

Damon comes from a very disfunctional family and his Dad just proved it to Dae Lynn and the woman who was selling the house. Dae Lynn was gone last weekend, if you remember, on vacation with Damon's family and she had plenty to say about the Dad!!!

I don't think that Brenda would let me help with cleaning things out. In their family being "family" means a lot. Althea was not a kind person......she was very selfish and she hurt me a lot but I can move on from it. The "stuff" was hers to do with as she chose but my family saw her for what she was and she wasn't very well liked. Althea ALWAYS had favorites and all of us could tell you who they were......her daughter's children.

I can understand getting along better with your own daughters than you do your daughter-in-laws but my grandchildren are just as much a part of her as her own daughter's children were. I hurt more for my kids than myself.....but you know what? Actually my kids don't care about her stuff!!! She cut her nose off to spite her face!!!

I know that when the girls start actually cleaning things out I will be hurt because there is just so much of it and who knows, they might ask if there's anything I would like out of what's left......but I'm not holding my breathe. Actually, I don't know if I would want Althea's things where I would look at them every day.

Oh Diana.....I'm so sorry this had to happen. You must be just heartsick over it all. Do you think Jason's story about the mom and son at the gas station was true? I'm really at a loss, I have no idea what to say. My family is so dysfuntional it's pathetic so I have no advice to offer. Wish this didn't happen, but since it did it's probably time for a family talk. If everyone has something to say, then maybe it's time to get it said and not on Facebook.

Sorry Everyone but I deleted the post. I've been so hurt by everyone's hard feelings towards Damon and Dae Lynn and today's been a really, really bad day. I decided that maybe it was best to not air our dirty laundry after all.

Jason, Amy's husband, and I ended up at odds with each other today over a post he made on FB and we've been back and forth on the e-mail there.......and it has boiled down basically that they are jealous of the help we've given Dae Lynn and Damon. It even ended up where Jason said "Do you know how long it been since I could afford to go on vacation.." All because Dae Lynn and Damon went to Branson last weekend with his Dad paying for ALL of it......and they went to KC and went to the Schlitterbahn.......spent about $200 altogether. Jealousy!!!!

I'm so tired of all of this.......tired of people's attitudes......tired of my husband's attitude.......just sick and tired.

Janet, as far as what Jason posted.....it is probably true but was posted as a dig to Dae Lynn anyway......with that being his excuse. If you notice.....Tammy also posted a couple of things about food stamps today as well. Coincidence??? I don't think so.

I know this has to be so hard for you. They just don't realize that you would do the same for them if they needed it. I'm always here if you need me.

Oh Diana, I'm so sorry all this is happening. I didn't realize Jason was Amy's husband. They are jealous. Jealousy is such a hurtful emotion. I wish it didn't exist. I agree with Janet, I wish he would realize that you all would do the same for them if they needed it.

I'm so sorry, this has caused a rift in your family. We all know it happens to all of us from time to time, but I just wish it didn't have to happen. I want everyone to get along and be happy to just "have" each other. It will never happen, but that's my wish.

Thanks for your support, Janet and Gayle.

Yes, it is jealousy. Jason's upset because he can't afford a vacation. Dae Lynn and Damon budget for a vacation.......she saves her money for them to go places. Also the trip to Branson was paid for by Damon's Dad. How do you turn that down?......just because your sister and BIL can't afford it????

Then Amy made the comment that she was jealous that Damon bought Dae Lynn an iPad???!!!!! Amy and Jason have had help in the past from his aunt and uncle. They have given them computers and bought Jason a pickup truck. Yes, Amy and Jason's money is tight.......I don't understand why because they both have fairly good jobs. I do know in the past they haven't made good decisions in things that they've bought but as a parent you have to stand by and let them do that hoping that they learn their lesson. The 4-wheeler that we bought for them was because they were wanting one but we gave them the choice as to whether they wanted to pay bills or buy a 4-wheeler so that wasn't a good decision on their part. Should we bail them out of that? No, I don't think so......that was their decision......a poor one.

Damon and Dae Lynn have looked at a house and I think are going to buy it but we're afraid of what everyone's reaction is going to be. The house is more expensive than the other one they were looking at but it has a rental trailer house with it that will make most of their payment. Also the house is listed way below appraisal value. The woman is a friend of ours and she just lost her husband and it's just too much for her to take care of. We're just not telling anyone......including Glen......about what's going on. They'll just have to deal with their jealousy and problems. Dae Lynn and Damon have to do what's best for them.

I was in tears this morning because of a talk that Glen and Dae Lynn had last night. Dae Lynn was actually very encouraging to me. I'm going to miss her when she moves out......at least she won't be far away!!!

Well.....I talked to Amy briefly yesterday and yes.....Jason put his post on FB knowing that Dae Lynn had an iPad. He DID see a woman paying with foodstamps and a child playing on an iPad so that was his excuse for posting it but it was a dig at Dae Lynn. Jason is the one who continually stirs up trouble for Damon and Dae Lynn. There is quite an argument over how much we have spent on her.....her schooling.....which she has a $20,000 loan to pay off.......there's a question about who's bought her cars.....we bought ONE.......I think that there is a LOT of jealousy and speculation going on and none of it is right and that's what's causing all of the trouble. We're going to ignore all of it and consider the source. Dae Lynn's going to stay away from Amy and Jason for awhile but as soon as they get their house it's going to all come up again.....because they are going to assume that we're helping them but we're not. Dae Lynn's not even going to tell Glen that they're buying it so he can honestly say that he didn't know anything about it. It's just sad. I'm so diappointed in my family sometimes and that's sad because they are really good people. :(

Seems to me that when Jason starts this behavior, Amy needs to remind him that Dae Lynn is her family too and that he needs to keep his mouth shut and innuendos to himself....not FB.

Family!!! Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. That's not really true and I guess it isn't just family, but human nature. Jealousy is such an awful vice. It's one of the 7 deadly sins (I think). Why can't people just be happy (or neutral) for others fortunes. Not that Dae Lynn and Damon are fortunate by any stretch of the imagination, they have had so many struggles. But when things go right for a change, why can people be happy or just neutral. Jealousy causes so much strife.

So true Gayle. I don't understand why people can't be happy for each other instead of trying to knock them down. You'd especially want you family to succeed. Then...I think of my family who I haven't heard from (even though I've contacted them) and all my logic goes right out the window.

I know.....it's so sad. Amy stopped by this morning and after talking about other things I asked why Jason thinks that we bought several cars for Dae Lynn.....which isn't true (We finished paying for ONE car while she was in college) well, it brought the WHOLE thing up. Amy said that Jason was even threatening about moving because I had pointed out that we had helped them out by letting them live on our property.....and we weren't expecting any payment from them but that was our way of helping them out. The arguements are getting so childish. Amy also pointed out that Dae Lynn was trying to talk Glen into a vacation in Florida so he could scuba dive and she and the kids could tag along. I knew when she brought it up that it wasn't going to happen......but the "others" all were upset with Dae Lynn that she could sponge a vacation off of us.....which she offered to pay for her part of going. They are also upset that Dae Lynn often takes my vehicle so that I can "pay for her gas". I know that she does that and it doesn't bother me......it does bother me when she makes unnecessary trips and I do mention that. Sometimes she takes her own car which gets better gas mileage. She DOES have one of our gas cards so she's not paying for her own gas.....except for when she goes out of town with Damon. The arguement is about such piddly, stupid things like that. Amy also pointed out that it's NOT Damon that they're upset with......it's Dae Lynn.

In our discussion it was pointed out to Glen that his talking to Jason and Feyn about Dae Lynn's problems and complaining wasn't helping anything......so hopefully he's going to try and keep things either to himself or friends that aren't family......that will pray for us.

I'm ready for this to die down or get over with. I'm so tired of this. If you hear a loud noise it may be me SCREAMING my head off!!!!!

Go ahead and scream....I've done it and must say it actually helps...lol I'll be listening!

We're trying to let things settle down. Feelings have been hurt and things have been said. I have to say that I'm very disappointed. Dae Lynn and Amy have decided to not be friends at the moment......mostly because Jason doesn't like Dae Lynn being around and having Amy's attention. They have always been best friends but I know that some men are threatened by family. This happens occasionally and it will heal over.

Well, Dae Lynn and Damon made an offer on a house and it was accepted!!! They are so excited!! It's right on the edge of town and we drive by it everytime we go to town......in fact a friend of ours lives there!!! It has almost 7 acres.....a pond......and a really nice trailer house that is rented out. In fact the trailer rents for $400 a month and their payments will be around $600 so they'll only be paying $200 of their own money to make payments!! It's too good of a deal to pass up!!! The house is an older home......but it has three bedrooms, two bath rooms, and a sun room!! She's not too excited about the sun room though because it's hot and cold. There's a lot of room for chickens, and their goats, and a garden plus room to spare!!

Today she's talking to the bank and getting her loan papers in. They haven't talked to Glen about it so that none of the kids can say that he is paying for it OR helping them out. He can honestly say that he didn't have anything to do with it. We had rumors go around when they looked at the last house and they came back to Jason......that we were buying the house for them. We don't know where it came from unless it was from the seller but Jason was pretty upset over it. He knew that we don't have the money to do that but it didn't make any difference he still complained. Good grief!! Anyway. the kids are being more careful about rumors and stuff this time. They're not telling hardly anyone until the house is theirs. I'm sure that they'll still have to deal with jealousy issues.

That's great news Diana and I'm so happy for them. I know they've been wanting their own place and now they have one.....all on their own. Let the others feel the shame thinking they couldnt do anything on their own and let Damon and Dae Lynn feel the joy! Tell Dae Lynn I'm so happy for her.

Thank you, Janet. I'll let her know!!

On Sunday evening Damon quit chewing Skoal and every day this week he's been grumpier and grumpier. Today after I got home from garage sales Dae Lynn was on the phone with Damon. When she got off I could tell she was grouchy......she told me that she was going to town.....so I asked what she was going to do.......and she's going to go and buy Skoal for Damon!! I think that she's reached her limit with him trying to go off of the stuff!!! With all that's been going on she really doesn't need him to be grouchy!!!

I hope she doesn't buy it. If he was trying to get through it and she buys it, then he was a grouch for nothing...lol...if you know what I mean. It's the same when quitting smoking, you get kind of grouchy until you get over that hump and then it's okay again.

Yes, she bought it. Things are so stressful with family and buying the house.....and getting a loan that she needs him to not be so grumpy. I recommended that maybe next time he go to the doctor and get some patches. I thought that with them not living together that it would be a good time but not with everything going on.

Dae Lynn's working on getting a low income loan. It's a hassle but she's a smart girl and will get it figured out. She's got excellent credit history but Damon has horrible credit history and even has some things that were never paid for before they got married hanging over his head. It may not work out on the loan.....we'll see.....they said that they would let her know in a couple of days. Dae Lynn's up and down with all of this going on.

We're not telling any of the kids about them buying the house until they have got the loan and everything is set.....otherwise they'll hear negative things from the other kids. It gets so old!!