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- - I think it's over. (http://www.4womentalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3286)

Yeah - it's easy for grousing and grumbling to get so one-sided. But we got your back girlfriend, whatever you do!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lindsey

I feel like I made a big mistake. I'm filled with regret.
I tried to talk to him but he doesn't really want to talk. He's with his friends today at a football game. He said maybe we'll talk tomorrow.
I DO like him. I love his family, his friends, his dogs, his hugs, his kisses, his cuddles when we're sleeping in the middle of the night. I miss him laughing. I miss him making me laugh. I miss dates.
I am to blame for a lot of what goes on between us, and I just never want to admit it. If I'm in a bad mood I start fights. I bring up the topic of my dog. I bring up things that bother me, even if they're just little, and I turn them into something huge.
He has been doing better with Layla lately. If he's in a bad mood he doesn't want to be around her. But if he's in a good mood he tries to just be indifferent, and sometimes he'll pet her or try to play with her.
This might sound really shallow, but I worry that my friends or family won't think he's attractive enough for me. It shouldn't matter. If I'm happy on the inside, why does the outside matter? Sometimes I feel like I have to prove something. When I left his house yesterday morning I noticed I had 2 text messages on my phone from an ex. A really really attractive and wealthy ex. I was so drawn to his looks and charm I was with him on and off for about 2 years... even though I knew he did a lot of drugs, and he was cheating on me. He openly admitted it. He even cheated with strippers. But I was like, just LOOK at this eye candy I've got on my arm! But on the inside I was so depressed. I hated myself, I could barely even make myself eat. I was 5'8 and 112 lbs. His text message yesterday said he was hanging out with a girl who had my smile, and he thought of me, and he just wanted to say hi. It made me feel sick.
So why is Kyle so bad? Why am I trying to not let myself be happy with him? He treats me well, his family treats me well, his friends love me. My parents love him.
I think the root of us fighting so much is that we talk so much. We talk every day at work over email, then on the phone at night, and usually see each other 3 or 4 nights of the week and then we're usually together ALL weekend. We don't have seperate lives. We run out of things to talk about, so we fight.
If he's willing to give it another try (because I think I am... and most people probably think that's a mistake) I think we should just give ourselves one night a week to hang out. A designated date night. And then one weekend day and night. I need a day to myself to unwind and spend time with Layla or my friends and just get things done. And the emails at work have to stop. I'd like us to actually be able to talk about things when we get together. We pretty much know every detailed hour of each other's lives.
So what does everyone think? Is it worth another chance? Should I talk to him about it tomorrow?

Personally I wouldn't. You deserve someone who understands you and loves you for who you are. Clearly this guy is just playing with your emotions. Just my opinion. Seems like he used you for one night of fun, and then went back to his jerky behavior. Sorry if I'm blunt but I wouldn't put up with this BS

Hi Lindsey,

So are you on or off? It seems you're back on. If that's what you want, we're behind you.

I wanted to travel too when I was your age, didn't want to marry until I was about 30, and was also very independent. I wasn't brought up to think I could really get away with doing that. Marriage was a must! So, I got married, had my daughter, and got divorced. Then I spent 11 years doing what I wanted, give or take, since I had a child. I went back to college, began my doctoral studies, and was on my way to being the scientist I always wanted to be. I left for a number of reasons (all good ones). Then, for some reason I wanted to get married again.
I think I wanted a father for mu daughter and I found one. He's a great dad, not a good husband.

Now I'm divorced again and completely free to do whatever I want. I seem to keep going back to that original plan and when I get my freedom, I'm so happy. So, I think that no matter how hard we try to fit ourselves into what we think we should be, we always return to who we really are.

It's the cycle of life.

Love ya,

Judy

Hi Nicole, saw you just joined, Welcome to 4WT!!!! We're all Yorkie Lovers here!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by katcarasella

Hi Nicole, saw you just joined, Welcome to 4WT!!!! We're all Yorkie Lovers here!!

me? whoa how did you know i was on this thread?...lol:confused: :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by NicoleMarcelle

me? whoa how did you know i was on this thread?...lol:confused: :D

Go to the top of the screen, dark purple section and hit (Quick Links) It tell you who's online. He-he

Quote:

Originally Posted by katcarasella

Go to the top of the screen, dark purple section and hit (Quick Links) It tell you who's online. He-he

lol...learn something new every day huh... i was like...am i being watched??:eek: teehee :rolleyes: silly mee... :D

just two cents, don't want to throw a monkey wrench, but if it's over for good you think sometime, travel! see all you want to see. do different jobs, meet different people. you're way young and this is the time.
i didn't get married till i was 36, had my daughter at almost 39. i did a lot of stuff and don't regret it. got divorced after 5 years and didn't date for 7 years. now, at age 54, am in a wonderful relationship that has give and take and independence.
so, it's true being single is fine. being married is fine. it's up to you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pearl

:) Wow, old thread. Kyle and I have stayed together, but he knows I'm trying to get a job in Australia next year, so we're just not making any long-term plans. We've had rough patches but we do have fun together and we know each other really well, and I think we're both learning from each other. I guess knowing that it won't last forever, I've been able to let some things go that would really bother me if I thought we would be getting more serious. No matter what, I won't be giving up my dreams to travel. He can think what he wants about it but it's my life and he doesn't own me. I need to make my own path and do my own thing and be my own person!

oh dear, guess i need to check dates! saw a new post and read the whole thing LOL...

My daughter went through a relationship with a guy for 3 years.. Before they started dating they knew each other from 5th grade. After he broke up with her for the second or third time... we were talking. It is the relationship and the fun of having a partner she missed... not so much the person. it is very different being single after having a partner. Being single again is tough, but if you arent with the right person you can learn to be single again. How else will you find the right guy? Now my daughter is turning guys down left and right because she wants to make her own choices and she wants to find the right guy. I'm proud of her.

lol! pearl, I just read the whole thread too! lindsey, did he ever adjust to layla? Pearl and I have a friend whose dogs name is layla! About all the drama, the only thing I want to say is since I have gotten older, my dreams have changed. Every relationship I have had has taught me something and I dont regret them. Even the bad ones! but I have found that I dont always end up wanting the things I thought I did. Whether you travel or stay with the bf, I think happiness is something you choose. So be happy girl!!!!!! :)

I am so proud of you Lindsey! You're traveling, growing, and it looks like you're going to live out your dreams!

Hurray for you!

Hi Nicole. Welcome to 4WT.