Janet, I hope they can get some results today and find where/why your mom is lossing blood.

I have been thinking and praying for you both! Hope you can get some rest, (one reason i haven't called you, don't want to interupt you if you are sleeping.)

Miss you though!!

Hope everything works out great and they find the problem. Get some rest.

Sorry that you didn't get more sleep than that. Try to get in a nap or two today. You're in my thoughts and prayers!! Hugs!!!

Sorry you didn't get much rest. That's very hard to get when you're staying at the hospital. You and your Mom are in my prayers today Janet. I hope all goes well with her test.

Just checking in again for news..........

The colonoscopy was done this morning and they didn't find anything. No signs of bleeding anywhere...no inflamation...nothing. Still could be recurring diverticulitis. Hospital Dr. said they may want to do the camera thing where she swallows it to see if there is any bleeding in the small intestines. The GI Dr. hasn't been as of yet. The hospital Dr. even said that the may send her home tomorrow.....duh????? What the heck??? They haven't figured anything out yet.

They also did an MRI because Mom has arthritis in her hip, but for the last few days it's been sending a horrible pain down her leg...bad enough that she cries. Her leg then becomes numb feeling. Sounds like a nerve is getting pinched somewhere, but I will find out the results of that tomorrow.

I'm not sure what to think or do until I get back over there. If there is a chance of Mom bleeding and becoming weak again, which there is....she's not going to be able to stay alone. I wouldn't mind her being here, but I don't even want to be here...lol. Plus the fact that she is starting to just tell me to do this or to do that without even trying herself. Not sure I could live that way.

Well enough of that for today....praying for some better...more informative news tomorrow.

I came home around 2:00 went straight to the couch and slept till after 6. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep tonight and head back to the hospital in the morning.

My heart goes out to you Janet. I went thru this same stuff for so long. I am not trying to depress you but this could be a very long road with your Mom honey. My Dad went through so many tests that came back not showing anything. My prayers are with you..and I wish I could be there and give you a great big hug! You are a wonderful daughter and I'm sure that your Mom without saying....appreciates you just being there with her. I will pray for comfort for her...I know that is all we can hope for Janet. If she would be comfortable staying with you....that might be for the best..Dad and Mom came up here for a few days and it is those days that I am so very thankful for before Dad passed. I so hope that I haven't depressed you..........I'm only thinking of what you are going through..and speaking from my heart as to what I went through. I love you.

Well, the blood in her stool is coming from her intestines somewhere. It's so frustrating to not be able to find out where. If it is red when it comes out, then it is not too high up. Usually blood in the small intestines comes out black, rather than red. Keep after them till they find out what it is. She can't continue to bleed!

I think they should keep her until they find out where the bleeding is coming from......or until they feel that it's controled. My Dad had trouble with bleeding from "somewhere" and he kept having problems and would have to go in to receive blood. It was very tiresome and I didn't have to deal with as much as you are. I hope that they can find something out.

Paula...I appreciate your advice and kindness more than you know. Your post didn't depress me at all. It's been a long road already...over a year and I know there is more to come, for how long....for as long as God knows we can deal with it. I hope I'm not disappointing him.

Thank you for that Gayle...they didn't tell us that info. The blood is more red than black. As gross as this is to some....the stool is black because of all the iron she was taking, but it seaps away red. I'm going to try and insist they do the camera thing before she leaves.

I think they should keep her too, until they find what's going on or else there is nothing they can do. I know it's difficult at her age and even though I don't want to lose my Mom....I don't want her to suffer either. She cries more than I've ever seen her cry and it is just so heartbreaking.

Janet.. I am so sorry you and your Mom are going thru so much again!

My prayers are with you and your Mom. Hugs to you my friend.

Thank you Shada....sure miss you when you're not here.

Hi Janet. Sorry I haven't been on for a few days and didn't know about Mom. My prayers are with you both. It is so clear that you two love each other so much, and that her illnesses have brought you even closer. She isn't so bossy when she is sick! And you get a chance to do for her, which I know she appreciates.

I hope they don't send her home without a clear diagnosis! They do that though. The cost, etc., etc.

I am thinking of you and have you in my heart always.

Wow, I can only imaging the frustruation :(

Hang in there I'm sure everything will turn out well. My ex at one point had the same problem and no one could figure anything out. After a while the bleeding decrease and finally stop. Hopefully nothing serious.

Mom has Dr. appts on the 6th, 17th, 18th, 19th and 24th. All follow ups...lol. Guess I'll be busy. We just got notice of these appts. when they released her. The wonderful ladies at Wellbound...the kidney dialysis place....that they will try and combine some of the appts to make it a little easier. All I really care about is that the roads stay in good shape.

Janet, that sounds like my life. Gary had/has doctors appointments on Dec. 29, Jan 4, Jan 5, Jan 6, Jan 18, and Jan 19. Granted he CAN take himself, but he really can't go by himself because he doesn't hear well enough to know what the doctor is saying.

That is exactly the same with Mom. She could go herself....although everyone else should be off the roads...lol, but she can't hear what they tell her....don't understand what they tell her....and then forgets by the time she gets home.

Spoke with her this morning and she had a great night....lots of sleep...lots of fluid off. Only complaint is her hip and leg.

I'm glad she had a better night! It's always better to be home in your own bed. I just wish they knew what was causing the blood loss! Her memory loss may be due to the hospital stays, and the low blood volume. She will likely improve if she is able to stay home, not lose any more blood, and feel better.

LOL! Gary can't hear, can't remember, and doesn't understand either!

Mom had another good day yesterday. I did go in and change the bed sheets and mop her kitchen floor. I carried the sheets and other items needing washed to the kitchen, but I made her get up and do the laundry. Mom is the type if you do one thing....she wants you to do more as she watches...lol. Fooler her...lolol She needs to get up and move about more.

It sounds like your Mom's doing well. I'm glad that she's back home. You can't do things for them when they can do them theirselves because they can lose strength so quickly. They need that activity.

Hope the New Year brings more strength back to your Mom.

Glad she is home!!!!

I'm so glad to hear that your Mom is home Janet. I pray that she continues to improve!!:)

It's been a rough couple of days. On Thursday night, Mom went in to turn her cycler on so her dialysis fluid warms up. She said she went in a little after 6:00 pm and called me at 6:30 telling me she just got up off the floor...that she must have passed out. She said she didn't need anything but thought I needed to know. The roads were real slick so I called my brother who is only a few blocks from her. When she went down...she hit her head above her left eye, scraped her right arm enough that it brought blood to the surface of her skin and on her left arm...scraped the top level of skin off. It was soooo close to her fistula that if it had punctured it...she would have bled to death.

I took her to her scheduled Dr. visit on Friday. Her Dr. checked her over and when speaking with Mom found out this isn't the first blackout, she had another within the last week. She also had a close one with me at her house and another at the Dr.'s office. The Dr. seems to think it's her heart. She did speak with her a bit about realizing that Mom isn't going to be able to stay by herself much longer.

Mom as a vist to her heart Dr. scheduled so hopefully we'll learn something there. If it wasn't so painful it would be funny, but now on top of everything else.....mom's hemmeroids are acting up. She just cried and said "what more am I gonna have to go through". I feel so bad for her.

I do think she'll be coming out to our house for awhile. I told her we'd bring her bed since she's used to it and her recliner. She started to cry and said she didn't want to lose her house and things, but I assured her that wasn't going to happen. That I could still take her there once in a while during the day, but at night she needed to stay with me. She's been doing okay on her dialysis, but forgetting how to get the 'cassette' out of her cycler, so I've had to go in and do it.

If feels like posting about my Mom is all I do anymore and I'm so sorry. It's getting to be too much and I'm exhausted and tired of crying so much myself. Please just keep us in your prayers.

Janet, Janet, Janet, I was afraid something like this was going on since you hadn't been here or FB for a few days. I'm so sorry.

It is so very hard to make this transition. You are right though, it is not safe for your mom to be alone anymore. She likely needs a pacemaker and that may help the blackout spells, but with all her health problems, it just isn't safe for her to be alone. Many families have to make this decision and it is very hard. I know she doesn't want to give up her independence and her home and privacy, but sometimes in order to be safe, we have to compromise. On the other hand, some people say that they want to stay home no matter the consequences, and then we have to accept the consequences if something terrible happens.

It sounds like she is willing to stay with you - but this will change your life for the foreseeable future and it is hard. I haven't gone through this with my mom, but with Gary 7 years ago, when he first developed heart failure and a myriad of other problems at the same time. I found that I just had to compartmentalize my day, e.g., do what I had to do at the time and not dwell on what the rest of the day might bring. If I thought about everything at once, I would cry and it would drive me crazy.

You can do this, of course, but it is hard. You just have to take each day, hour, minute and do what you can and then go on. You can't sweat the small stuff! The guys are going to have to pitch in and do some things for themselves. And some things are going to go undone - that is OK!

You have to take care of yourself too, or you will get sick. Trust me on this. You feel you don't have enough time for yourself and you don't - but you must try to take care of the things you need. If you don't you won't be able to take care of her.

It's so hard, but you will do a good job, I know you will. Come here anytime you get a chance - we are all worried about you and your mom!

Saturday morning, my SIL stopped to check on Mom. She saw some blood and feces on the kitchen floor that Mom hadn't cleaned up. Mom just told her she was going to get it, but was resting.

I went to Mom's around 4 PM. She was just hanging up the phone when I walked in. She had been calling me to come fix her supper because she was just too weak. I fixed her supper and then started doing the dishes. Mom said that she thought she needed to go to the bathroom but didn't know if she would be able to make it. I got her up and we headed to the bathroom. She totally lost control about 4 feet in front of the bathroom and by the time we actually got in there, there was a blood and feces everywhere. I got her to her bed and cleaned her up and got her to the ER again. She's still there. She's decided she really doesn't want to come to my house....and I'm really starting to agree. We are seeing about home health care and I am calling to set up a meeting for when Mom is dismissed from the hospital.

Her hemo was 11.3 on Monday and dropped to 9.3 on Saturday. They gave her two units of blood, did a CAT scan of her head from the fall she had on Thursday and then did an ultra sound on her neck (cartroid arteries?) to see if there was any blockage causing blackouts. The Drs. seem pretty determined to find the cause of the bleeding because the blood is still in her stool. I spent the night with her in the hospital so I would be able to speak with all the Drs. as they made their rounds. Got to talk to all except for the one I wanted to speak with the most...the GI dr. I did leave a note for her with some questions so hopefully she'll get in and answer them. I finally left at 4 because I was just too tired and sleepy to stay any longer.

I told Mom today that she needs to be more open because we are searching for the best home health care and if she didn't cooperate...then she was going to have to go to assisted living or nursing home. It was so hard to say that to her, but I realized I just don't think I could handle it all with Mom at my house. I want it to be okay, but I just don't think it would. She wants me to do everything for her and I just can't....I need some time for me.

Seems I'm writing a book lately when I am able to post. Please keep us in your prayers. Thank you for all your advice Gayle....I love you and you don't know how much your knowledge and experience is helping. Lynne....thanks for calling today...I really needed someone to talk to.

Janet, you are right to not bring her to your house in this state - it is too much and she really needs some skilled nursing care. If you had a wonderfully supportive family at home that would take care of everything at your home, and you didn't have to work, then you might be able to handle it, but it would be very hard. I'm not sure home health will be enough right now. If they find the source of the bleeding, then yes, but now with what is happening, she needs pretty intense care.

You're going through a very rough situation but only you know whats best for your mom. She needs professional assistance, someone who is train to handle her well being. I also used to work in a home health facility where they would send a nurse and aid to seniors homes. That might be ideal if she doesn't want to leave her home. They don't go every single day but a few day's out of the week might give you a break also.

Janet I am sorry that you and your mom are going through this.. I will keep you both in my prayers.. hugs to you.

Janet,
You are at a rough spot with your Mom right now. It does not sound like she can be alone or at your house. I hope there is a wonderful facility where she will be taken care of 24/7, and be happy. You can visit her as often as you both need, but you will both feel safe.

You know I am praying for you both.

Still in hospital since Saturday. They just took her to have a flexible sigmoidoscopy done. I hope it's not too painful for her because they won't be putting her out for the procedure. I have a sub for the afternoon route. So I'll be here till this evening when my brothers will be here.

Road are snow packed and icy, but it still only takes about 30 minutes to get to the hospital. Not sure how much longer they'll keep her, but I do know.....I need a vacation really bad!!! More snow due this weekend I guess so I hope it's not much.

How's your Mom doing Janet?

She's is home now Paula. She shouldn't be really, but I have people coming in to help and a service that delivers the noon meal every day. I'm beginning to believe that Mom really sees why she shouldn't be at home alone, but she is continuing to try.

There's no place like home. I certainly hope she regains some strenght. I will send tons of positive energy her way.

My thoughts and prayers are with you Janet! I feel what you are going through. I love you and I am sending many hugs to you!!:lovu:

After sleeping much better last night she feels a bit better this morning. Her arthritic hip is hurting her pretty bad today, but on the 21st I take her to this arthritis/pain Dr. so I'm praying he can help her with that. She said it was all she could do to stand and fix her breakfast.

The home nurse should be coming today and tomorrow will start her Meals On Wheels visit.

Maybe the home aid could come in the mornings, fix breakfast and then something for dinner too!

That's what we're hoping for Gayle. If Mom could just get the pain to go away she would probably be able to do fix herself some meals. Things is with Mom....you do anything for her and she'll not try herself.

Yep, I understand that wanting everyone to do for her. She needs it when she's in a lot of pain, but not if she can get the pain under control.

The first Wheels On Meals meal was delivered to Mom yesterday. She sure wasn't happy...LOLOL. They brought buttered beans and some kind of tough meat. Also milk and apple juice. Mom didn't like any of it. She told me to just cancel it. I told her she needs to wait just a bit and see if there is something else that she'll like...not to judge just one meal. I did ask her if she knew the person that brought it and she said...."no...it was some elderly lady". ROFL!!!! She has no clue...LOLOL

Since I have a 2-hour delay today, my brother and his wife will be taking Mom to the pain dr. I sure hope something can be done to help her.

Janet, often meals on wheels are not the most tasty foods - but hey, you didn't have to fix it and it is free (or it used to be free). If your mom is craby about food, she is not likely to be happy!