What's Going On........
 

I thought that I'd just start a new post on all of this instead of putting it in what I was doing every day.

Dae Lynn's been talking to Damon on the phone in the evenings and things just keep getting worse. It's just showing her that things are really over and is actually helping her make her decisions. She was going to wait to file because things have been happening so fast but the way things are progressing she's going to go ahead. She's ready to get out and we're ready for her to be done.

The hard part is still Karlie and it's just breaking our hearts. We're going to do all we can to keep her but we have to leave it in God's hands. Dae Lynn is working with her on memorizing her phone number in case she'll ever need it. Our school counselor said he had a student once with a smiliar case and the step-mom who was a stripper took the student from the school......and the step-mom never got to tell her good-bye but the student went back to the step-mom when she was a teenager and finished school with her.

Damon's been throwing his weight around with Karlie. The schhol counselor is planning on talking to Karlie and Damon found out about it from a conversation Dae Lynn had with his sister. He was furious!!!

We found out that Damon is staying at Mark's house but is sleeping outside in a tent. We're a little concerned because Mark doesn't live too far from us. We're locking the house up at night and have Jason and Feyn on alert in case of any problems. We worry that he could be watching us from outside at night. We don't know that he is but it's a concern.

Bits and pieces are coming out that people have known and none of it is good. Dae Lynn has a friend that spent some time with Damon the other day when they put up the swingset and he said that Damon belongs in a mental hospital. He's going to tell Dae Lynn exactly what Damon said whenever they can get together.

Sigh......Things are a little crazy and I'm sorry that it's all so long to read. Actually things are pretty calm here. I think that Dae Lynn is convinced that this is the right thing to do and we are all supporting her.......even the friends that she's told. Just keep us in your prayers.

Diana, you are very wise to be cautious. The friend who helped Damon set up the swing set picked up something from or about Damon, and I think his words are very important. I feel so sad for all of, this is so stressful. I clearly remember the tension when my mom mad dad divorced when I was three, well I don't remember when they divorced but he came to see me once afterward when we were living with my grandparents and I think my grandma was afraid of him because I remember the tension in the house when he came to visit. It was very upsetting. He never came again.

I hope you can get this all resolved quickly. The longer it drags out the harder and more complicated it might get.

Diana i have been worrying how things were going, I am sure Dae Lynn is going through a terrifying time, as are you all, but i do feel for her so much.

I cant imaging what it feesl like, i am sure all will work out for the best in the end, but i think it is going to be a very bumpy ride for a while. It is not like you are dealing with a sensible person, and he knows Karlie is your weakness too.

Diana just be very careful, and be cautious as well.

God bless you all.

I think you're right Diane for the family to be cautious. You never know what is going to break a person and the things they are capable of doing. You read of these things in the paper all the time. I'm glad you're keeping your doors locked Diana...I worry so much about all of you.

Please be careful, you just never really know.

This is so sad, Diana. It would have been wonderful if Damon had gone to rehab, and come home to be a good husband and father. Some things are not meant to be, I guess.

I have you all in my prayers. It would be best if Karlie could stay with Dae Lynn. You probably could have him declared unfit as a father, but then her mother would get involved, wouldn't she? Does she want Karlie?

All in all, I wish Damon well, but if only he had stepped up and acted like a man!

Damon demanded at first that he was going to have Karlie for the weekend but ended up letting her chose who she wanted to be with because he knows we have a big Easter picnic. She ended up choosing Damon because she was missing him and she knows that something is going on.

Damon's sister came and got him then they came and got Karlie. Damon wanted to see Dean and spent less than 5 minutes with him. Karlie did have a good time with Damon and his sister and her family. I'm glad. We were worried for Karlie. He ended up keeping her last night because the kids didn't have school today and he brought her back this morning before he went to work. He bought her some gifts......nothing for Dean........and didn't even ask to see him either.

Dae Lynn's taken papers into the lawyer's office and is ready to file. She talked to the lawyer a little bit and will talk to him again before they serve Damon. She was going to wait but doesn't want Damon to get the jump on her and get custody of Dean while all of this is going on.

I can't believe he doesn't want to see Dean!

I am praying that this works out for the best for everyone Diana.

Thanks, Judy.

Glen went into town to talk to the sheriff......just in case there is any problem then he is aware of the situation. Glen's a little concerned because Damon was watching YouTube videos of hand to hand combat and how to disarm a person plus he has his military training. He warned Dae Lynn and I to be careful. He probably won't cause trouble but it doesn't hurt to be prepared. The only way he'll be trouble in my opinion is if he starts drinking.

Diana, do you keep a gun in the house that you know how to use? I think that he will certainly start drinking again. He'll blame Dae Lynn, you and Glen too. Regardless, better safe than sorry.

He will get arrested again soon enough, and end up in jail again. At least he'll be out of the way for a while!

Yes, we have some and they are ready in case of an emergency. I would hope that they would never be used though.

We just had Damon's parole officer here. She is suppose to check out the residences of the parolees and she wasn't happy that Damon wasn't actually living here but in a tent and that he hadn't contacted her about it. He's going to be in trouble for that. We spent some time with her going over what he's allowed and not allowed to do. She cautioned us to contact the sheriff if we have any problems because then it will go across her desk and she'll be aware of any problems. She was very nice.

Good to know that she is available! Does Damon check in with her?

How is Karlie doing?

Karlie is doing fine. Last week after Damon left she would listen to a book that he did for her with his voice reading it......over and over. She was also cried easily. One afternoon she sat on the swing and cried......Dean came in and told me "Sissy hurt" but when I went out she was just crying for her Daddy.

This weekend she's staying with Dae Lynn. Damon's going to his sisters but he's leaving Karlie with us.

Dae Lynn went and talked to him last night and told him that she was filing. She's mostly doing it so that Damon can't get Dean during the divorce. He's lost a lot of weight and I guess he looks bad. She came home feeling pretty bad and upset. She's really questioning what she's doing. Yesterday was really hard on her. I can understand why.....it sounds so trivial that we caught him lying about such piddly things.......but that's not the problem.....it's the lies. Sigh.....this is all hard!! I feel for her and I feel for Damon.......and the kids.

Damon's parole officer called and talked to him and he has a week to find a house to live in. She understood what was going on and I'm glad that she gave him some time.

I feel so bad for kids when stuff likes this happens. I don't regret never going after my ex and asking for one single penny. I know it's different scenario than your family issue but never less painful for kids. Kids only have one childhood and it shouldn't come with problems like this.

I agree Jessica. My first ex left when Jessie was 7 months old. He cheated on me, and was a pathetic huma being. He sent $50/month for a while, and when it stopped, I didn't care. I just wanted him out of my life. He would have been a really bad person for Jessie to grow up around!

He is now an alcoholic, and Jessie stopped talking to him years ago. Some people just have to be walked away from.

Dae Lynn took Damon to town yesterday to look for an apartment. They found one and had to put down two references. The last place that they lived gave them a really bad recommendation. Dae Lynn came home so furious!! We had painted the WHOLE house and sealed cracks!! She lived with no heat or air conditioning and so many other problems when she lived there......none of which he ever fixed!! Then after the kids moved out they had to move back into the home!! There was a hole in a door that Dae Lynn offered to fix and they said to just leave it (it was a cheap trailer house door) and she had been told that it was alright to pay their rent any time during the month......he mentioned that there was holes in the doors and that they never paid their rent on time!!! It ends up that we have friends that work in the office where they're trying to rent so they're going to explain it to the owner and leave it up to him to decide whether to rent or not. UGH......what is up with some people??!!!!

It's been rainy and cooler here so everyone's feeling sorry for Damon. Dae Lynn is really struggling with her decision but has decided to wait for a few months to see how things go. Damon is talking about seeing someone at a mental health facility. He really needs some help.

That wasn't nice of that landlord to do that. Seems that people can be so mean spirited. I hope Damon can get the apartment and that things will work out for him. I liked meeting him for just those few minutes, but he has a lot to deal with and get straightened out before he could ever be a good husband or a good father. I really hope he seeks the out the mental health facility. He'll just have to remember to be honest or no one will be able to help him.

I know Dae Lynn is a strong young woman and will manage. She has a great support system in her family.

Sorry but i dont quite understand, is the apartment just for Damon?

I agree it is so unfair when people can have power to say whatever they want, and then it is very hard to correct.

Diane I think the apartment is for just Damon.

Yes, the apartment is just for Damon. And he did get it. He has the keys and took his camping stuff in and just dumped it. Then Dae Lynn took him to his sister's for the weekend. I'm not sure how that all came about. Dae Lynn has some food in the basement that they had before she moved in here and she told him that he could come and get what he wanted. He's not very happy about the apartment because he thought that he'd be moving back in here with her. Anyway it will make things a lot easier for everyone with him having a place to stay instead of a tent.

Did he really think he would get to move back in with you and Glenn? I thought Dae Lynn told him it was over. It would be great if they could remain together, but I'm for Dae Lynn being with someone who loves her and puts her and the children first. It's going to be a long time if ever for that person to be Damon.

I just feel so bad for a person that wants to do better, but when given the opportunity doesn't take it or screws it up. He just has to want it bad enough.

Oh..... i see now, i am so glad it is just Damon (even though he doesnt like it, its tough - life is tough, and the sooner he learns that lesson the better he will be).

I hope Dae Lynn, can start to back off a little now and let him get on with his life without her (its not her job to fix his life for him!!!!!) ........... I know he will be involved with the children always, but i do honestly think he needs to understand this is not a game, he is now on his own, and has to be responsible for himself. As does Dae Lynn, she too can try to get her life in order, I do feel for her so much, none of this is her doing, yet she has to take on all the responsibility of the children (i know she has her family behind her).

I am thinking of you all, i know it must be really tough on everyone:bighug:

Good that he got the apartment!

I think it would be healthier for Dae Lynn is she backed off from driving him places, and giving him food. She has 2 children, not 3. I can understand that she still loves him and wants to take care of him, but she is going to have to separate herself from that role. Better sooner than later. It does hurt so much though. My heart goes out to her.

At this point I'm not sure what she's doing. I hope things get settled down once Damon is settled in his apartment.

How are things going Diana? Hope the kids are doing okay with everything going on. I know Dean probably isn't affected near as much as Karley.

Damon takes Karlie every other weekend so this weekend she'll be home. Damon has never asked to have Dean. He's missed out on so much of Dean's life that Dean really isn't very connected to Damon and Damon knows it and isn't willing to make the effort to fix it. Dae Lynn's really gotten on to him about it too.

Right now things have calmed down and settled into a routine. Dae Lynn's been seeing Damon a little and almost everytime she comes home mad at him. He is checking into getting some help......we'll see if it's just talk. She talks about getting back with him sometime in the future but then sometimes she's saying she's about done. She'll have to figure it out on her own and she has a good mind and I know that she'll do whatever's best.

It's really helped Glen by not having Damon in the house. I know that Jason, Amy's husband, still has some issues.....but I've found you can't please all the people all the time!!!

Dae Lynn's decided that she wants to go back to school and get her teaching degree. She has a degree in Biology already so she just needs a few more semesters to be done. She's planning everything out. There's a school that has classes in a town that's 30 minutes from us so she can still live here and get her schooling done. Her mind has been pretty busy on getting all the paperwork done for all of that right now.

Good for Dae Lynn!!!! What a great move to get her teaching degree! That will help keep her busy and realize that she is way above Damon. I just feel all giddy for her!

That sounds like such a good idea! Dae Lynn is a smart girl.

She is a smart girl.......and she's preparing to take care of herself if she has to. She is thinking more with her head right now instead of her heart.

That is great news, it's so hard sometimes to think with our heads and not our hearts. Too many emotions get in the way. Dae Lynn will be able to handle whatever comes her way.

Teaching is so wonderful, Diana! It pays a consistent salary, you get health insurance, and you are home when your children are home. It is perfect for a single parent!

That's what Dae Lynn was thinking too. She'd make a good teacher!!

How are things going for Dae Lynn now Diana? Does she have any idea of what she might do over the summer? Does her job pay her during the summer? I know...lots of questions. I didn't know if she was going to try and find a part-time job or attend school. Wishing her all the best.

She has a job cleaning the church that will pay a little bit......not much but she thinks that she can make it on that. Then she's checking into student loans and grants to get her through school which starts in August. She's wanting to clean the church and have time to play with the kids because she's planning on being really busy when she starts school. She'll be taking a lot of classes so she's not planning on working at the school too. It will just be too much to handle.

As far as Damon is concerned......she sees him a little more than we care for her to.......but it's her marriage and she has to decide what she's going to do. Actually it bothers Glen quite a bit. They are having another date night on Saturday so they'll be going out to eat and to the movies. Damon has started some classes for his alcholism. There's a church that doing a program called Celebrate Recovery. My brother was involved in one in Bartlesville and it helped him while he was in it so we're hoping that it will help Damon. He has an accountability partner which is good as long as he calls him when he needs help. Only time will tell.

I think it's great she will start school. Education will help her think more clearly.

I'm so glad she has a plan, that's the first step. It's still going to be rough on you though isn't it come August. She'll need you to watch the kids while she works at the church, goes to school and studies. You better get out now and enjoy the summer :) I know you'd do anything to help her, just remember that when you need time to yourself for whatever, to take it.

You're right.....it will be harder on me. I'm not looking forward to it either but hopefully after the summer I'll feel more refreshed. Taking care of Dean isn't a problem.......but Karlie is a different story.

Dae Lynn talked to her teacher yesterday and she admitted that Karlie is a difficult child. She causes problems for the other kids and I don't think that she's liked very well because of it. Dae Lynn says that Damon was the same way when he was little. Personally I think that Dae Lynn needs to talk to the school counselor and see if he can talk to Karlie next year. He's a great man and VERY good at his job. It was nice to know that someone else sees the problems that we see in Karlie.

Trust me.....I'll be doing more this summer for myself. Since Dae Lynn will be here and at the church she can watch the kids herself. Now I just need to figure out what to do!!!

At least he isn't living in your house anymore! I hope Dae Lynn starts school soon, but you need the other kids to help you with Dean and Karlie.

I think there is a point where it is not a good idea to be a hero! Get help from the rest of the family.

I know that the other kids will help this summer but when school starts again in the fall everyone is busy again.

Amy has been helping to watch the kids more. She sees how hard it is on me sometimes.

I think your family is so wonderful Diana. I'm glad you're all close enough that Amy can see you need some help with the kids once in a while. You really are blessed!