May lose job!!!
 

I'll try not to type a book. We have been friends with this family ever since my son and their oldest son were in kindergarten, they are best friends. Okay...last Thursday their middle son (9th grade) who has always caused me a few problems said some horrific things to an 8th grade girl. He told her she paid for sex, f***ed animals, was a c**k juggling whore and more. I skipped my steps of #1. a warning, #2. calling the parents, I went straight for #3 which is writing him up. I thought what he had said warranted this. He was given detention and I have him sitting in the front seat. It was obvious he doesn't know how to talk and treat others his age in the back of the bus.

Well, last night his mother called and said they would be taking the boys to and from school (I thought, this is great, no more problems) and I said Okay. Then she went off on me telling me I had no right to write him up without her knowing and that her boys don't lie or talk like that (he admitted it to the Assist. Princ.). I don't like to argue so I told her I did what I felt best and was not going to argue with her, then I hung up the phone.

She called back a minute later and I yelled for one of the boys to answer the phone and my husband did. She didn't say Hi or I need to talk with Janet, she just went straight into yelling at him saying her boys don't lie..I picked up the extension and told her not to bring my husband into this, it did not concern him and then I heard a "click." I said into the phone to my husband "what a b*t*h".

I then hung up the phone and went to talk with him. He asked what that was all about and said he heard me tell her not to bring him into it and then he hung up. I said: "You hung up?" He said yes! So it looks like she was the one still on the phone when I said "what a b*t*h" not my husband.

She is the type to not let things go and will probably try to get me fired. I love my job and love "my kids"! The only thing I can hope for is that IF she tells the higher authorities that they will listen to my explaination and believe me.

So, even though I still feel I did the right thing, the possibility is still there for me to lose my job. Please keep me in your prayers, I think I'm going to need them.

OMG! Janet! I am SURE the higher authorities will believe you. I can almost guarantee that this is not the first time this has happened and the higher authorities will understand. I am sure the Asst. Prinicpal will vouch and say that the boy admitted to it. You don't have anything to worry about. She is a B*TCH!!!!! That is what is wrong with children these days....parents think their kids are ANGELS that they would NEVER do anything wrong! Instead, they need to punish their children and hold them accountable for their actions! You stand firm! Don't back down on this one, Janet! I will definately be keeping you in my prayers! When will you hear something?! Do you think you could talk to the higher authorities BEFORE she gets to them? ANd just give them a heads up and tell them that a parent is mad and that she might be coming to them? ANd give YOUR side of the story before she has a chance to get to them??

I did talk with the Assist Princ. she's very understanding and fair. You see, the boys and their mother already have a reputation at the school. No one wants to deal with her. I asked the Aisst. Princ. if I should talk with the Superint., but she advised me not to. Let them go in and state their feelings and then I can go in if they need me to. Who knows if they will even take it another step, she is one to do so, but no one knows what she'll do. I'm just going to take the Assist. Princ. advice and wait to see what happens. She is on my side, so that will help a lot!! It just makes me nervous to anticipate what may or may not happen.

Oh, Janet! If the Asst. Principal is on YOUR side and that crazy woman already has a reputation, then you should have NOTHING to worry about!!!! Keep your chin up. You are a good person and that lady OBVIOUSLY is not! You will come out on top in the end, I'm sure.

Janet,

You did the right thing - don't ever doubt that for a second! Most parents (if not all) can't face the possibility that their little "angels" would ever say or do a mean thing to another person - they are quick to defend their child and turn into protective "mother tigers" when they feel one of their "cubs" is in danger - not realizing their cub is the one causing the danger.

You have several things on your "side" (if you call sides) - the girl herself is a witness to what was said to her (as well as any friends/students sitting near her - provided they aren't afraid to step forward). Plus the kid admitted to the assistant principle he did in fact say those things. And last I checked, the use of your phone in your own home constitutes your personal property, not school property, and this is the land of the free which includes freedom of speech - you have the right to say what you want in your own home - it can't (or shouldn't) be made a part of what happened on the bus. The whole incident revolves around what was said on that bus and you did nothing wrong in handling it the way you did. Some things that happen do not merit a warning or a note to the parents - they are beyond that. If her child had gotten in a fist fight at school, I guarantee she would have received a call to come get her child as he was suspended for "X" number of days - no warning, no nothing - just come get him. I wonder if she'd cause this much fuss over an incident such as that. We, as parents, have no idea what are kids are saying or doing when they are not in our sight - we can only hope we have raised them to be wonderful individuals who treat everyone with respect.

Keep your chin up! From what you've written, I see no reason why any of the incidents that happened could cause you to lose your job! If anything, someone may say you should have given him a warning or contacted his parents first but I don't think so. Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way!

Thank you my dear friends! Your kind words really help.

It still causes me to worry, because even though it was my phone, in my home, I was representing the school in this situation and should have made sure it was she that hung up...not my husband.

I don't want to argue with her, but she really thinks she is right about her boys. Just because when she talks with them about a situation, and they all stand up for each other, then she says it's not them lying. I've written in posts before, that I truly don't lie! Too easy to get caught in them and it's humiliating. If we don't have our honesty and integrity...we have nothing!!!

I'm going to go about my daily business and hope it just all blows over, but it will take a few days for me to calm down and not worry about the "brick to fall."

I do love my job and even cry when my kids tell me they got their driver's license and won't be riding anymore. Most of my kids are GREAT kids.:)

Totally agree!!:thumbup: You should in no way shape or form lose your job for this!

They belive teacher over the children. If this boy said as you said he needed more than being writing up Plus his mom is b***H and she needed to be told that. I would not worry about if they were trouble NOBOBY will listern. I have some trouble out of my teenage son to and they always go buy what the teachers says I just tell them to do what they need to. Hang in there. :)

I just received a phone call from the Assist. Principal. She said she received a lengthy email and wanted me to read it so she wanted my email address. I'm expecting it any time now.

I guess it's started and now I just can't quit crying. I'm so upset with myself for not being more tolerant and professional in dealing with her, but it's very hard!.

I agree with what everyone else has said and wish to add that this woman had no right to call you in YOUR home and threaten or insult you. You were only defending yourself when you called her a "b***h" and she's lucky she didn't call me because I would NOT have been so nice.:mad: As for you losing your job over this, I highly doubt it. This woman has a reputation for being a troublemaker and your AP is standing by you. All of your years of professional service will count in your favor and I think an "offense" like the one you supposedly committed would not warrant getting fired over. Now if you had struck the boy or something drastic like that, maybe she'd have a leg to stand on. Please try not to worry and we are all praying for you and please keep us posted on the situation. Hugs to you.:)

Thank you so much for your support. I'm still waiting on the email from the Assist. Principal. I'm just shaking and crying right now waiting on it to come through.

They BETTER NOT go any further with this unless they want a busload of women arriving from all over the U.S. to show up with picket signs.:mad: :mad: :mad:

View the sharing of the email as a good thing - the AP is wanting to keep you informed so there are no "surprises". She's on your side in this - supporting you 100% and that is so good to see:) The woman's history has definitely preceeded her in this incident and the AP knows it. I know it is upsetting to you, especially that she provoked you to the point she did on the phone. But - as was previously stated - she had no right to call you at home outside of school hours to harrass you further on the incident.....it is something that should have remained at school with the school officials. When she called you, she invaded your privacy (in my opinion) which left the door open for you to say what you did. I don't blame you for the words spoken - I blame her for stepping over the line and calling you at home. Things will work out - I have nothing but 100% confidence that they will!

Hang in there!

You guys are so wonderful to me. God bless you all!!!

I do want to clarify that I thought she was the one that hung up, and I said what I said to my husband. I didn't know it was he who hung up and I said it to her. I would never have done that.

DITTO!!!!!!!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: I don't think she wants all us women ganging up on here! I am sure we can be vicious! ;)

I can almost hear the growling of supportive women here at my house, I think she should be afraid!!! :D LOL

Have you gotten the email yet?! You know we're ALL going to want to know what it says! :p :p :p

No, not yet and the waiting is killing me. She is a very busy woman and said she needed to make the announcements first. I just wish it would hurry and come through. I am shaking sooooo bad.

She did say it was very lengthy and she wouldn't have time to read the whole thing over the phone, that's why she wanted my email address. I sincerely hope she doesn't edit anything, I would rather read the whole thing.

Here's a thought that just came to me. Would you still have to go through all the channels if you thought the girl's safety was being compromised by this boy? I mean a warning is not enough if you feel the kid is a danger to the girl. Is this something you can use in your defense should you have to justify your actions to the school board?

I really don't think he is a violent kid. Just mouthy and foul-mouthed at that!

Be afraid.......be VERY afraid!!! As the saying goes, hell hath no furry than a woman scorned - and she's scorned you! And in doing so, she has affected us all - we've become such a supportive group in the short time this site has been up if one of us is hurting, we are ALL hurting (and the same if we are happy). Add me to those making the road trip - I'll get my sign painted this evening :D

I'm sure it'll be okay.... IMO you did the right thing when you handled the boy the way you did. And as far as the phone call.... Don't worry about. She called you at home, which isn't right to begin with, but then proceeded to provoke you AND your husband! She acted inappropriately and if she hadn't, the whole B**** phone thing wouldn't have happened. Her own darn fault if you ask me!

I rec'd the email and boy was it a long one!! When I printed it out, it was almost two pages of typing. She really raked me over the coals, but most of it was from stuff she said her boys said.

I replied to the email with my comments highlighted in red and sent it back to the Assist. Principal. She made some pretty bad accusations and they were not true. I hope in this case that what goes around comes around.

I'll let the Lord handle it from here!:)

I'm still shaking and now hurt, the non-truths really hurt my feelings. I pray that they know what kind of vindictive person she is and does not take her seriously. They should know me by now.

Believe me, all that trash talking she did is going to blow up in her face!! No one is going to take her seriously, especially if she made some outlandish accusations. She would have helped her case more if she would have kept things clean. I think everyone will see through her words, and I truly believe your reputation speaks volumes more than her two page two-bit email. Keep your head up, it's going to be ok.:)

I would copy and paste it here, but it's so long, I don't think Admin. would appreciate it.

Janet! She IS a b***h!!!! :mad: I have to deal with psycho parents, too...including one that WAS a friend. As long as your administrators know about what happened, you should be okay. AFter all, it occurred AFTER school. Don't sweat her. She's got issues and needs to stop being in such denial!!!!!

You can rest assured it will come back to bite her in the butt!! People that have to make up lies like that are truly to be pitied, and it sounds like this isn't the first time so I'm sure no one else is taking it as seriously as you are. You know in your heart you did what's right. Try not to let it upset you so. The beyotch doesn't deserve your energy!

I couldn't have said it better myself!!!! Janet, I would just kill this lady with kindess from now on. She is probably the kind that LOVES drama. Being nice to her will get back at her more than anything.

That woman sounds like a trashy drama queen :thumbdwn:

Don't worry Janet, the principal knows you and your work far better than that stupid woman. They know what some parents can be like, they deal with these sort of situations daily.
You did the right thing :thumbup:
Don't let woman like her get to you, she is not worth it!
I'ts obvious she has some serious personal issues to deal with!

{{{Janet}}}
I'm sorry this is happening. I'm glad the assist princ knows you and trusts your word. People can be so doggone difficult sometimes but those who make a habit of it end up with little if any credibility, so I really don't think you need to worry about your job. I'm sorry someone you considered a friend turned out to be such a PITA.
Hang in there... this too shall pass.

Thanks everyone I really appreciate your support, more than you know.

She did send me the email and the things she said were lies and half truths concerning her son. I replied to the email in red so that the Assist. Princ. could know the truth. The AP said that the mother called her around 2 this afternoon and was very irate, but said by the end of the phone call she had her calmed down. The mother wants her sons off my bus, and to tell you the truth, so do I. So it looks like this is going to happen. I will know for sure tomorrow, I think.

I wish I could show you all the email with my responses, but it is just way too long. I wish I had a blog or whatever they are called so you all could read it.

The AP did say, she supported me and that the Transportation Director had nothing but good things to say about me and the way I handle the students on my bus. So, it does look that my job, at this time, is not in jeopardy. The AP did say that the mother didn't mention informing the Superintendant and even if she did, the AP knows he would support me too. That made me feel so much better.

I really love my job, the hours, the students and it would be a great hardship if I was to lose it. So as of this moment, everything is calm... I will tell you my eyes ache so bad right now from crying so much today and my nerves are just shot. I will probably head to bed early tonight, but for now, I want to be where my friends are. I love you gals!!!! :1luvu:

I am so glad everything turned out ok for you. I knew your superiors were not going to believe that trashy woman. In the end, something good came out of it, you won't have to deal with those boys anymore. Have yourself a nice relaxing bath and try to get some rest. :)

BTW, I was looking forward to a road trip to Indiana. I guess I'll have to call the protest off... ;)

NO, NO, NO, don't call it off, I would want you all to come anyway... what a great time we could have!!!!!:D A great big old fashioned slumber party!!!

Janet,

What a wonderful ending to an otherwise EXTREMELY stressful day for you! See, we all told you it would work out in the end:) You are just too kind of a person, doing what you know in your heart to be the right thing for the protection of those put into your care on that bus. The schools across our lands need to have more caring, concerned drivers such as you! Parents put their kids on the bus each day and are literally putting the lives and welfare of their children into the bus driver's hands - you do the bus driving community proud :) Your track record with the school system has spoke for itself - you did not need to defent yourself in this situation as you have already done that throughout your career! So try to put this behind you as best you can and don't let it bother you anymore than it already has.

As for that road trip - I, too, was looking forward to heading north and standing in front of you to kick some butt! We've only known each other a very short time but in that time, I've come to know a little of what's in your heart and the type of person you are - and proudly call you friend! And NO ONE messes with my friends!! So hang in there, your friends here at 4WT have definitely got your back!

Janet.. I just read this post and I am happy to hear that it has a good ending . : In the long haul you did nothing wrong , just doing your job, and that woman had no right to call you and argue, If she was a friend she would have asked you for your side and then as a good parent she would have disciplied her son approriately. You had ever right to call her a B****h she was calling you at your home, and harassing you and your husband. I hate to say this but she sounds like one of these parents whom their children do no wrong, get over it our kids are not angels and being a parent I always hope they don't do anything to hurt anyone's feelings but things happen and you have to correct them when wrong.

Oh well I was looking for the trip down to Indiana..lol glad to hear that all is well...
Gina

Oh my goodness, your post touched my heart so much I ended up with tears...I am anxiously awaiting to see if they move him to another bus, then I will know for sure, it's completely over with the woman and her son. But, hey, I'm mov'in on and so glad I have all of you to call my friends.. God Bless You!!!

I can't believe I just now saw this thread. Oh Janet, I am sorry you had to go through all this. But, it looks like it's all turning out. It's hard when people judge or question our character. However you obviously have many on your side.

You bet, if it hadn't been for everyone here I think I would have lost my mind. I cried and shook so bad over this. It really got to me and I was so afraid of losing my job. But the Assist. Princ. and Trans. Dir. are backing me up and it looks like everything is going to be just fine. Not only did her son lie to her, but she told lies and half-truths to the Asst. Princ. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree... I really appreciated all the support.

Well, I just read this thread, so glad this is all working out & that you have such a wonderful support group!! Hang in there, things will work out!!!