I Need To Vent!
 

I need to vent some. No one really needs to respond, but I just have to get this out!

Okay...here I go.....

I'm so tired of my husband....I really want out of this marriage, but at the moment I'm stuck. Should have left sooner, but I didn't. Guess God knew I would need to take care of Mom.

I'm sick and tired of the other people in this house thinking it's okay to 'leave it' for me to clean up.

I'm so ready to get rid of a few dogs. I'm more than tired of hearing the dang things barking all the time. It's driving me absolutely mad!!!

I'm also tired of taking care of Mom all the time and even though I could and probably should put her in a nursing home....I just can't. Just when I think I can....I can't. I can't stand the thought of her laying in her own waste until someone has time to clean her up...yet....I'm tired of cleaning it up when it happens.

I'm tired of having to be home every freak'n evening because I'm the only one who knows how to hook Mom up to her dialysis machine.

I'm tired of having to think of food all the time. When I got hungry...I ate....now I have to fix Mom something first thing of a morning, noon and 5:00. I can't stand having fixed times to fix food. My freedom is completely gone.

I'm tired of basically living from week to week. I will always have MY money, just like my husband has 'his', but I'm not spending it on bills. He can spend his. If he can go away this weekend to his stupid cowboy shoot, then he can fork over more money.

I'm also tired of sweating all the time. Tired of the pain in my neck, shoulder and arm and tired of this darn heatwave!

I know there are more things...lol...but I just can't think of them right now.

Okay.....finally got that out. Whew.....

Please don't feel you have to respond.....I just needed to do this and well....I do feel a LITTLE bit better....notice the 'little'.

I'm done.............................................. .....................................for now....lolol

:hands:

:heart:

Oh yeah....out of the last 30 days...my younger brother has seen Mom 3 times....the 3 days she was in the hospital. I knew there was something else... :(

:o:mad::eek::thumbdwn::rolleyes::unlove::confuse2: :cry2::snow::cry:

I "ditto" what Gayle said!!!!

:bighug:

I don't think you got it all out and you need to. God wants us to happy. I want you to be happy.

I ditto what Sandy said too!!!!!

I don't know if there really is anything else. Oh I have the usual petty stuff, but the above are the main things. I want my happy back too....there are times when I really feel so joyous and happy, but not as often as I use to. I miss that feeling so I try to fake it as much as possible hoping that it will become that happy feeling.

To tell you the truth.....I get so tired of complaining and whining. I just get sick of myself....lol. I know it's best to get it out though, but wow....enough is enough.

I know that you're tired but we do what we have to do.......like having Dae Lynn and the kids move in. It's life changing for us for awhile....but like you....I'm trying to see the good side of it. I'm so sorry that things are so stressful for you right now and I wish that I could come and help for awhile. I know that we could have fun together even if we were just at your house!!! I'm trying to figure out when I can come before school starts and you're back to work!!!

I know that you're happy to have the kids with you, but its stressful for you too. At least you know It's not going to be for a long time. I have no idea how long I'll be taking care of Mom. It was funny because I had cleaned 4 rooms today...and I was exhausted and really aching....Mom was worried about what I was going to fix her for lunch and supper. I finally told her if she wanted 3 warm meals a day then the nursing home was the place for her. She wouldn't be so bored all the time and would have people to talk with. So far she ate the Han salad sandwich I made for her...lol

Well.....that's the truth!!!! Hugs to you and Mom!!!!

She is so funny sometimes! Like a bad little girl!

She is for sure....it's like having a 88 year old toddler...LOL.