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Advice for the ladies.........decades too late!

If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it
apart to remove the sports section
Buy a dog.

If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you
Buy a dog.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it
Buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want
Buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about
football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies
Buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your
feet and whom you can push off if he snores
Buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you
are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you
say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally,
perpetually
Buy a dog.

But, on the other hand, If you want someone who will never come when you
call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the
place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat
and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his
happiness...

Then.................

Buy a cat!

(You thought I was talking about a man didn't you?) :D :D :D