They're Back! Church Bulletins:
 

They're Back! Church Bulletins: God bless the church ladies who type them. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.
Bring your husbands.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery down stairs.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
------------------------------------------------

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
------------------------------------------------

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

The Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM .
The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours

Oh Tink...I've seen these before too. So funny. I wonder if those were really in church bulletins.....

Tink - those were cute!:yelrotflmao:

I've seen some of those, but not all. I thought that this one was funny!!!

Tink,
They were soo funny, I have to share them with my family.:)

Those are VERY cute - just emailed them to my mom.

Tink they were funny thanks for sharing...