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Church Bulletins
Church Bulletins to Cheer your Day
They're Back! Church Bulletins: Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. ---------------------------------------------------------- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. - -------------------------------------------- The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict. --------------------------------------------------------- Ms Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. --------------------------------------------------------- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. --------------------------------------------------------- The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.' --------------------------------------------------------- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. -------------------------------------------------------- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. ------------------------------------------------------- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. --------------------------------------------------------- The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. ------------------------------------------------------ Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. ---------------------------------------------------- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. ---------------------------------------------------- This evening at 7 PM there will be hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. ------------------------------------------------- The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. ---------------------------------------------------- Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. ---------------------------------------------------- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. --------------------------------------------------- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. ---------------------------------------------------- |
I've read these before and they're just as funny this time as they were the first time!! Thanks for sharing!!
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