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What rock did these people crawl out from under? Wow! Karma will get them, and soon, I hope!
Your grandma wants to let it go, and she is probably right. It's her life and she doesn't need to spend it in the company of such awful people. She can just buy new pots and dishes, if she can afford it. If not, I'm sure your family will find a way to make her comfortable.
It is very important when there are two families involved, to get everything in writing.
My step-sister and I sat down with our parents years ago and asked them to please write a will. It was very difficult to bring this up, but they traveled and flew a lot, and we did not want any arguments over their possessions.
In the end, they each left their children whatever they had come into the marriage with, and split the condo in Florida 1/2 to me, and the other 1/2 to her three kids.
My father had invested his money, unknown to me. She was great at making money in the stock market in those days, and had helped him to grow his income to an unbelievable amount! I had no idea of this, and I went down to Florida to the lawyer with my step-mother. I got his life insurance, some other stuff, and so much money from his investments, I almost fell off the chair! She was so happy for me. We really had a good relationship then!
I went from having nothing to having a nice amount of money all of a sudden!
I got some valuable possessions of his from WWII also. She kept a couple of things, but he was very happy with her, so I have never brought it up. Since she was still living there, she kept everything in the house. I would assume that her children did something with them when she moved to the home she is now living in. I don't really care. I got my half of the condo sale, which allowed me to fix this house up. I don't see or speak to them anymore because of totally different things.
If you don't have these arrangements with your parents, I would say it is a very good idea to ask them to please put it all in writing. There was just no problem when the time came for my family.
I also MUST do a living will for Jessie. I am 63, and it will be a good thing to have done it. I found a "green" cemetery, and finally know where and how I want to be buried. I will prepay it too. It's much less expensive than a regular burial too. It is exactly how I want to be buried, so I feel glad that I have found it. I would recommend doing a Living Will for your children at some point too.
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