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Janet, Janet, Janet, I was afraid something like this was going on since you hadn't been here or FB for a few days. I'm so sorry.
It is so very hard to make this transition. You are right though, it is not safe for your mom to be alone anymore. She likely needs a pacemaker and that may help the blackout spells, but with all her health problems, it just isn't safe for her to be alone. Many families have to make this decision and it is very hard. I know she doesn't want to give up her independence and her home and privacy, but sometimes in order to be safe, we have to compromise. On the other hand, some people say that they want to stay home no matter the consequences, and then we have to accept the consequences if something terrible happens.
It sounds like she is willing to stay with you - but this will change your life for the foreseeable future and it is hard. I haven't gone through this with my mom, but with Gary 7 years ago, when he first developed heart failure and a myriad of other problems at the same time. I found that I just had to compartmentalize my day, e.g., do what I had to do at the time and not dwell on what the rest of the day might bring. If I thought about everything at once, I would cry and it would drive me crazy.
You can do this, of course, but it is hard. You just have to take each day, hour, minute and do what you can and then go on. You can't sweat the small stuff! The guys are going to have to pitch in and do some things for themselves. And some things are going to go undone - that is OK!
You have to take care of yourself too, or you will get sick. Trust me on this. You feel you don't have enough time for yourself and you don't - but you must try to take care of the things you need. If you don't you won't be able to take care of her.
It's so hard, but you will do a good job, I know you will. Come here anytime you get a chance - we are all worried about you and your mom!
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 Gayle
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