Good for you Janet. Unfortunately, as we age, we lose our social graces - that part of the brain just goes. The other day my mom told a man she was going to hit him over the head with her cane if he didn't leave her alone (he was only trying to talk to her). AND THEN SHE TOLD ME SHE SAID IT.
A few years ago she would never, in a million years, have said that to anyone. The point is that your mom really doesn't want "strangers" helping her, and she may say so, or act as such. Most nursing personnel understand that, but you can also understand that they get tired of that kind of attitude all the time. So telling your mom to behave is help her set boundaries on her behavior. It might not solve all of the problem, but it might help a little bit. And it is true - if she runs off the help, you may have to run her off (to the nursing home).