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You've gotten some good advice here. Kimberley, Gina and Rebecca are right on track. You need to take care of your family as you are doing, and let her stew in her own mess. Sometimes we have to wish them well and leave them be. Your children will not miss out on anything from the way it sounds, but your MIL will miss out on them.
We have family that we have chosen not to have contact with. It's sad, but we are much happier because of it. We sometimes feel that we have reset the family. Just started over. Our dear friends are our family.
My MIL was actually a nice lady. Frustrating at times, but overall we had a very good relationship. She is gone now, but I do miss her.
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