Okay Tink you asked for it!!!! I am a very strict disciplinarian so here goes.....
You need to quit doing their laundry....just stop. Right there will take half your laundry duties away. They are old enough to be doing their own. If you do this and they leave their stuff in the washer or dryer...put it in a garbage bag and take it to their room. Do not put it in the dryer or fold it for them. You'll have to be persistant, but it will work if they want clean clothes.
Give them strict orders they are not to come to your place of work for money or anything else that isn't life threatening. Tell them the answer will always be NO. And don't give in. If they continue...send them on their way empty handed.
Your son is taking advantage of you big time. Tell him he has two weeks...no more...to get a job or the car goes. And then stick to it.
If your daughter is working, even at Burger King, she needs to learn how to budget her money, so she is not borrowing from you. Take her mess and throw it in her room. Leave it, do not clean one thing for her. She is old enough to take this responsibility.
Change the locks on the house, if they come home after hours...don't let them in. They are living in your house and should be following your rules.
You are not asking too much Tink, not at all. Somewhere along the way they learned that this type of behavior was acceptable. It's time they learned it isn't and it will be hard at first, but to all those who wait....good things will come.
I know this will sound harsh...but quit being a doormat. People, kids included can only walk on you if you let them. Before it's all said and done with, more tears will be shed...but you've got to stick to your guns. It will pass and your children will probably be happier too, they won't have Mom going nuts on them. Just be persistant and see what's on the other side....I think you'll like it.
