Thanks CChu
I have talked calmly, I have screamed like a banshee
I have pleaded and threatened and they turn a deaf ear.
Finally I decided I am going to have to just draw the line and let them decide what to do. I wrote an email to the kids tonight and told them exactly what I expect from them if they want to stay here. Part of that was Joel getting a job and cleaning up after himself, part was Katie acting like she appreciates what we're doing for her whether she feels it or not. She doesn't have to respect me, but she'd best act like she does!
I totally laid it on the line and gave them deadlines for different things along with the consequences of not cooperating. I reminded them that if they can't live by my standards, they are both of age to move out and make their own rules in their own homes.
I told them I hope they stay and straighten out, but I won't accept anything short of what I've asked for.
So now we'll see what results. I simply have to do something before I just lose it altogether. Thanks everyone for the support and ideas. I knew I could count on you all to be honest and upfront with me.
I will keep you posted as to how it goes. I also sent a copy to my oldest daughter so when they call her to whine about how unfair I'm being (or to have me committed), she will know the truth of the matter from my perspective.
HUGS