[rivermom]

I can totally understand his jitters and lashing out at you. He's got so much on his mind and as a man the priority is taking care of his family. Even though a lot of men don't go about it just as we would want them to. Hopefully he will do some soul searching, calm himself down, and deal with the surgery as he see's fit.


In regards to the drinking ~ This is a completely different subject. He is not only taking his own life in his hands being behind the wheel intoxicated (or over the legal limit) he is taking other lives into his hands as well.

Janet - I am not going to try to tell you what to do, but from what I can tell by reading your posts it does sound like he's being distructive with the drinking episodes.

But....You probably pretty much know his routine after work. He might stop at a bar on his way home possibly. Or he might stop at the liquor store on his way home possibly. Or he might....Anyway, the point I am trying to make here is that you have the option to notify the police that your husband has been drinking and driving. The police after taking some information from you will plan to follow him on his way home from work.

Now, you would never tell him not ever if you do this. But the police will follow him, stop him, and arrest him if he's beyond the legal limit to drive. This is your hubbies free ticket into therapy and you don't come out as the bad guy, nobody is placed in danger sharing the roads w/ a drinking person who is driving, and he possibly might be ordered to attend AA meetings and seek help.

These are just my thoughts, and again not telling you what to do.

But, let's say I was sharing that same road your hubby was on while drinking. Hmmmm, Id be hoping his wife or loved one was calling the police to have them do what is best.

I am terribly sorry for the stress you are probably feeling right now. It is a very hard situation and serious too.

I only wish the best for all involved.