Ashley V

I also forgot to mention that my mom did meet her when her little one was having surgery and she eluded to the fact that everything that was going on between her and Adam was my fault. She said that none of his actions started until he started dating me.... the woman kicked him out BEFORE we started dating officially. He and I were just kinda hanging out then and she doesn't even know me. I feel very judged. Also, for christmas, she mailed Adam and I each seperate books. I wrote her a thank you card and we went out and bought her something... together... and wrote a card out... together... and she calls him and thanks him on voice mail and writes him a thank you card... never once even saying "Oh thank Ashley for me"... nothing...

I actually wrote an email, I just didn't have the guts to send it... so I saved it.

Here were her emails to him that she sent to my email address that no one knew or gave her a few weeks before the wedding....

Adam - Yes, I did get your email and am prayerfully seeking the Lord's will and wisdom in replying. I do not want to use my own words in response to your questions.

Of course, you know I love you more than my own life and desire only that you would come to love and follow Christ as you know you should. It is impossible to love Him "half way." I cannot deny Christ - nor "wink" in disobedience to His Word. We are either His enemy or His friend.

If and when you do marry - may it be in His perfect order, will and timing. And may you be able to lead your family to heaven's gates, saying "Follow me as I follow Christ." I will reply as He leads.

Love and prayers - Mom



Good morning, Adam. How are you? You asked (3) questions in your last e-mail.

(1) Would I like to meet Ashley? Perhaps. You name a time and place and I will see if it meets my schedule. I would like to hear from you, in front of her, how I "just went crazy one day" and kicked you out...

(2) Would I like to go to a wedding and (3) would I "help"? By your own words, you admit marrying Ashley (or anyone) at this time, you know is wholly against God's will, yet you plan anyway. How can I help you "celebrate" that? Fear God. Keep His commandments. He will not always strive...

You are loved dearly. We pray for you every day. If you seek Him, you will find Him. Keep looking up! - Mom



Dearest Adam,

Trusting you are well. How is everything? Another reminder you are truly loved. You've asked a few favors of me and I have a couple things to ask you. As promised...

(1) You asked if I would like to meet Ashley. As I said, name a time and place. I do not much mind meeting her - but do ask that you repeat your words "My mom just went crazy one day and kicked me out..." in front of both of us - or the whole world for that matter. You know this is not even close to the truth...

(2) Addresses for your aunts, uncles and Grandma. [see below] I cannot find Aunt Jo's address right away.Let me know if you really want to contact her. And Aunt Mary - I can't find hers right now. You can call her though to get it. Honestly, you should be prepared... I know of no one on this list (or Aunt Mary) who is willing or eager to attend or celebrate a wedding for you - at this time. Selah.

(3) You say you are getting "marriage counseling." God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Godly counsel it the same no matter where it is found. You say you know your friends and family at our church would give you Godly counsel. Will you not seek it because you may know what they will say? Are you that afraid of the truth? What you are receiving - simply evidenced by your statement "they never ask about you, mom" - is not Godly counsel. If you want honest and Godly counsel - here are several names of men who know you and love you and will give you just that: Jamie, Tony Lawrence, Andrew Lawrence, Louis Stitt, John Miuccio, Brandon and Josh Schwartz, Pastor Fort (and Esther) in California, Dan Konczal, Dave Stocks, Basam, German Rojas... I could name more. If you've forgotten how to contact them - let me know. I know - especially Dan and Geramn - would like to really talk with you.

These men ask about you often. Pray for you more. And covet your Christian fellowship

This is what I wrote, but haven't sent.

There are a lot of things that I know I should say, but when it comes to this point, it all jumbles together. I don't know where to start.

I don't really know what happened between you and Adam. He says he has a couple ideas but he's not sure himself and I'm not going to press him on it or question why. That's between the two of you, but I guarantee that it had NOTHING to do with me. I did not or never will encourage any disrespect to you or his family in any way, shape, or form. In fact, from day one I tried to encourage him to make amends with you. Even though he is 22, he still needs you. We all need our mothers and I especially learned this after the near death of my own. I remember numerous times crying to Adam while my mom was lying there almost lifeless telling him that I can't lose her. I knew she was going to be okay the day when she opened her eyes and attempted to make the "I love you" sign in sign language. She doesn't remember any of it, but I do.

With all of that in mind, I never wanted to be a burden to everyone. I wanted everyone to like me and accept me as Adam's wife. I wanted us to celebrate together. We had a small wedding, but it was beautiful and I wouldn't have changed it for anything. I love Adam beyond words and I would do anything for him. This is something the both of wanted to do. We made a decision, went with it, and reluctantly had my family's full support. How this is against God's will is beyond me. At the same time, God does not approve of judging others and I feel as if I have been unfairly judged. I've never done anything to you... I mean, we've never even met. This is the closest I've come to conversing with my husband's mother in a little over a year. I did meet Adam's aunt and I don't understand why she didn't like me either. I never did anything... I was myself, said please and thank you, and never cursed.

And in response to the third note in your previous email - we love the church that we are going to. We are going to it because it means something to us and the minister is amazing. She loves us... every time we walk in there, she always says something to the congregation about us. It may not be the church you started taking him to, but it is OUR church... something we did together as husband and wife. We have that right to make our own decisions and they are not any less Christian than anyone else in your church. They sin like everyone and pray like any other church going person. They may have a few minor altered beliefs, but the main one is the same. We all have the same belief in the existence of God and to me, that's what really counts.

Marriage should not only be about the union of two people, but also the adding on of family. He has been accepted as the addition to my family and all I ask is to be accepted by yours, or at least given the chance. I've always been raised with the cliche "Love me, love my family" and to be honest with you, from the things Adam has said about you, his aunt, Jordan, his father... I care about you all, but at the same time... I am Adam's family now too. I would like to build a relationship up with all of you, but I can't if I'm the only one willing to try. I was very hurt and so was Adam when he came home and told me you weren't coming to the wedding and neither was anyone else, but I am willing to let it all go... I just ask for that chance.

I'm sorry if you felt that this letter was out of disrespect. It's not meant in that way. I just want a fair shot and answers to questions that I've never been able to ask.

Thank you.

Ashley

I know this is long... sorry... I know you guys are looking at it from her prespective, but I just would like a decent relationship with my mother in law. I always pictured me getting ready for my wedding with my mom, my aunt, my grandmother and my soon to be mother in law in the room helping me get ready... not just my mom and aunt. I wanted us to be able to call her up and say "Hey we're going out to dinner... come with and bring Jordan!" But we can't all because she's being stubborn. I understand she is going through some rough stuff, but so have I and so has Adam. That just wasn't her husband and her little boy. It's also Adam's dad and Adam's little brother. He's hurt too... he's cried to me so many times saying "I lost my dad, I'm losing my little brother, and now I lost my whole family." I want him to be close with his family, but I am also Adam's new family and they should accept me. We married as one, a unit, and I feel that's how it should be. I don't want him to stop seeing his mom... I just want him to say "Hey mom, if you want me to come to lunch, Ashley is going to come as well. She is my wife and it's about time you meet her."