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Originally Posted by AngieDoogles
I hope you are feeling at least a bit better now that some time has passed. Sometimes it helps to just vent and get all of those emotions out...
*more hugs!*
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thank you
we have talked. well, it started by him asking "are you happy?? I don't think you are happy!"
well, that opened the can. so we talked. i expressed some of my frustrations and all in all, we both agreed that most of our problems started when we started working together. we never have been able to create a separation between work and marriage. so our marriage has become more of a business relationship. some people can work with their spouses, i cannot. i have struggled with it since day 1. i just can't do it. we own the business and it is just very hard, mostly because i am the one that does the work...he is only involved because we put the business in our names together. so he feels the need to dip into what is going on all the time. and my investor thinks my husband walks on water so he talks to him instead of me. "hey, jim, tell mandee ________________"
well, that just doesn't work. because then i get frustrated and jim is now involved and it just gets horribly ugly. so...long story short, we have agreed that we cannot let this continue. not if we want to save our marriage. since this is one of the major problems we have! so i am going to hire someone to do what i do on a daily basis, pay them what i have been paying myself, and i will just remove myself from it and stay home. this has been my ultimate goal....to own the company but not do ALL the work. i will still be the decision maker, the "go to" person when someone needs help or advice...or whatever. but i will work on the "quiet" end of it. and just enjoy the ownership aspect of it. this will keep me from working with him. he will no longer feel the need to ask me a million times a day "did you do this...did you do that...don't forget to do this...be sure to do that..." THAT gets old!!!!!!!!!! I DO HAVE A BRAIN...I CAN THINK FOR MYSELF!! that wears me out on a daily basis and by the end of the day, i cannot stand him!! so anything and everything he does drives me NUTS!!!
so...i will now be able to concentrate on making my doggie clothes and accessories and do some of the things I have been wanting to do my whole life...but have always put work first.
now...about his controlling nature. we discussed that. i have expressed to him that i cannot handle it any longer. i just can't. he told me that i seem so cold toward him. and i explained that it is because of him being so controlling. i explained to him that i have always been a strong woman, very independent. and that since he has come along, i feel like i can't think for myself anymore. i hate feeling that way...therefore i am very cold to him.
he was stunned. he really didn't know what to say other than "sorry". he finally realized what he is doing. he told me that he will try very hard to work on this.
so i think we have had a breakthrough. hopefully. i explained to him that i am on my last string...that i can't handle it much longer. i told him that i have had thoughts of how i would live on my own again...and that i hate thinking like that. but i can't help it. i do love him...but i really don't like him very much lately. know what i mean??
well, he understood. so we will see if things get any better. we both discussed things that have been bothering each of us and hopefully we can both improve on our ends.
thanks again for all the support and advice. you are all AWESOME!!!