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What a terribly sad thing to happen, and to find the little angel while you were caring for him must have been so traumatic. My heart goes out to you.
It is a long time though, and maybe a low dose of an antidepressant can help you get through it. I don't think it takes 3 years to get over the terrible grief you're talking about. You have to be sure that if you do take antidepressants, take nothing that would keep you from feeling your feelings, because, as
the others said, you must feel it to heal. I do think you need to speak to a very good doctor though, because that kind of trauma is sometimes too hard to get over yourself.
You can call Silent Unity and they will listen and pray with you everyday if you need to, at no cost. Their phone number is 1-816-969-2000.
My heart is with you.
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