Dear Traci,
I had similar issues with Jessie's father. I could fill a book up with stories about that loser. He has told Jessie the most awful things over the years. She finally wrote to him when she was 11, after Joel and I began living together and told him that he wasn't her father anymore.
She has gone back and forth with him over the years. She starts to feel guilty, calls him so that if he dies, she'll have no regrets, he ALWAYS screws up and then she stops talking to him. He never came to see her when she was in the hospital for 3 months and then diagnosed with MS. She hasn't spoken to him since.
I keep out of it at this point. When she was younger, I only sent her to L.A. with his Mom. She went for about 6 weeks once a year. I always told her that there are some people who you're better off walking away from, and that he's one of them.
He's an alcoholic now so I would imagine he's getting payback. Never forget that you never have to get revenge. God takes care of these things for you. I've seen it happen over and over again.
Your children are young. Maybe very short, supervised visits once in a while.
He won't come around for long. He doesn't sound like the type who wants to really be a father. He probably got a bug up his ass and is taking it out on you.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I know how upsetting it can be when you're trying to protect your children from their own father.
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