The first step to recovery is realizing there is a problem! Sending lots of hugs your way! ED's can be very hard things to overcome, but it is so very important that you try! I'm glad you are getting help now
! I dealt with eating "issues" for a while, which I think were brought on also for the desire for a sense of some sort of control in my life... During a very stressful time I lost over 30 lbs in one month... I don't even want to mention some of the crazy things I used to do out of self disdain. Unfortunately, my 'issues" are to blame for my now shot metabolism.
Anyway, today I am okay and although I could stand to actually lose a few pounds these days, I know I am more healthy and happy now than back then. Thankfully, God is good! I'll be praying for you!