[Emmsmom]

Heather, I don't think that anyone here would turn you away for you relgious beliefs. I haven't known these ladies very long but from what I have seen they just aren't that way. I am sorry you were offended by some of the ladies. However, I think it is safe to say that somewhere inside you still want to believe in God. You wouldn't have tried to go back to church if you didn't. You also never explained your feelings the way you have here. Do I think that their responses would have been different? No, I don't. That in no way means that they were insulting you. I am sorry you took it that way.

It seems like you have been through a lot in your life and I am sorry that you didn't have more of a support group. I haven't been to church in ages. Like you I too have questioned A LOT. Somehow tho I just keep telling myself that there has got to be something better. Am I bitter at times? Sure I am. I start to think back on my own life and how dirty my own mother treated me and I start to question why God didn't do more to help me. So yeah I have questioned a lot but somehow still managed to hold on to my faith. Altho I still struggle with that every day. I have a very real problem with forgiveness. My grandmother makes it clear to me that I "need" to forgive. I love her dearly but I just can't bring myself to do it. She tells me every chance that she gets that God loves me. I don't find it insulting despite how bitter I am at times. So do I think that God loves people like us that question him? Sure I do. Try not to feel insulted when others say things like this. If they didn't care then they wouldn't say anything at all. Who knows maybe that is God's way of talking to those of us who are so stubborn. Lord knows I am hell bent on holding grudges and I need all the help I can get. I truly am sorry for your losses over the years. ((HUGS)).