Next Life
Next Life, by Woody Allen
In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and
get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home
feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go
collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch
and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young
enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are
generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go
to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no
responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you
spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa like conditions with
central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and
then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm! I rest my case
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