Oh theres a bit more here.
I used to want to get married, I used to want children. I feel that my ex ripped all of that away from me. He left me for the last time when I was 28. I took me over 2 years to move on enough from him and my pain and anger to even data again. I am now with a great guy, but he is divorced with 2 kids of his own, he is fixed and does not really want more kids. I am 32 in a few weeks and just do not have the desire to have kids anymore, or even to get married anymore. I don't understand why I was soo punished. Why I didn't get to get married, have a wedding, have a child. Its hard for me to take blame on myself. All I did was love a man who didn't love me enough back. I lost out on the chance to have the things I want in my life. At least I feel that way. Its hard to be 32 and realize that life did not go the way you always thought it would. I meet a great man, fall in love, get married, buy a house, have children, etc... none of it went that way. I know its ok but Im not YOUNG anymore.
I guess Im just venting here, getting things off my chest that I can't talk about out loud.
I just went to 4 weddings for 4 friends who just got married. They all got their happily ever after. They are planning to start familys within the next year or so. Do you know how difficult it is to be one of the few 'still single' people when all your friends are married? All they talk about is their wedding, their kids, thier husbands. People I related so well to suddenly we have nothing to talk about.
