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Originally Posted by Carole
I have been a member of 4 Women from the onset however I work so much I haven't really had a change to talk to anyone for quite some time. SOOOOO here goes.
I found out 1 year ago this month that my husband of 12 yrs. was having an afire with the person that I thought was my Best Friend. I was devastated to say the least. We talked about it all, she called me many times and talk to me about it. Both of them were telling me that it was over. But it wasn't over until April 14th of this year. Everyday I work on forgiving him. Because I really do love him. My life didn't really mount to anything until I married him. He is the funniest man you would ever meet. He is working very hard every day now to prove that he LOVES ME and WANTS to be with me. I don't make it very easy for him at times either. Sometimes the most innocent comment or remark can set me off or my mind to reeling. We are neither one young any longer. He is 62 doesn't look it at all. I'm gonna be 58 on 10/27 and lucky for me and good gene don't look my age either. And this friend was 45. Now ladies tell me me true. Do you know any man that would turn down the advances of a very attractive younger women? Hell no! But I do fault him for not thinking with the correct head, and going for it.
Since April each day gets better sometimes I feel like it was all a dream, then the B---- will call me then it all come back.
The reason I am posting this is I wanted to know if there is anyone of you out there that have gone through this before ? I don't have any friends to talk to now. So sometime I don't know if I'm making the right decision or not. You know how we are are. It's always easier to heal in numbers. What I mean is when things like this happen one really needs that special friend to talk with and hopefully tell them if they are doimg the RIGHT thing or not.
I kicked him out and begged him not to leave a million times. When after all was said and done. HE JUST WANTED HIS CAKE AND EAT IT TOO!.
So I've had a little to much wine tonight and as always too much time to think.
Thank you for for listening to me and I hope that someone will respond to my post.
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First off, Carole, you've come to the right place and we welcome you with open arms. If the wonderful ladies here don't help lift you up, it would be a total shock, because in my opinion, they are the greatest, most compassionate ladies I've ever met.
I am truly sorry your marriage has hit this bump in the road. It really lower ones self-esteem IF we let it. Since we will all give opinions, good and bad, you'll have to separate them and use the advice that is best for your situation.
One thing that I would do, is sever ties with this "friend." A true friend would never do this, no matter what and I believe it would be easier to rebuild the trust if she wasn't in your face all the time. Next (if you want you and your husband want this marriage to work) is just simple advice...talk with a good marriage councelor. Yes, I recommend counceling a lot. It does help put your feelings and thoughts in check. If he won't go with you, then please go alone.
I wouldn't want to give you more advice than that, because I really don't know ALL the facts and what led your husband to wander in the first place, even though it was wrong. Also, you did say that you've had too much wine and that will definitely cloud your thoughts.
I wish you all the best and hope things can work out to your benefit. God Bless!