sorry guys, i have nobody else to talk to at this hour. I have to wake up for school in 2 and a half hours and I have slept a total of ONE hour tonight. I think I'm too upset to fall asleep again at all. So on 1-3 hours of sleep tonight I get to go to a full day of school including projects and assignments, and then get in a car with the person who is causing me not to sleep, and pretend to be all nice and normal while driving 2 hours to where her parents live and my boyfriend lives. I have to be there in time to watch my boyfriend play a volleyball game from the deck of a noisy bar, and then go straight to a giant loud "indoor beach party" that I look forward to every year and just spent $36 on a ticket for.
How can I have the energy to be a fun, happy girlfriend and not mope around and sleep all weekend? How am I going to drive two hours on so little sleep?
And in my crazy sleepy state I can't stop thinking about how she slept with my boyfriend. When I hear her down with my roommate, I can't stop picturing her with my boyfriend. She was so open with me about it, I unwillingly listened to her throw into regular conversations what position they were in, how long it lasted, how good it was for her... Okay now I'm bawling again.
It's not his fault, he didn't even know me then. He regrets it, he says it's the biggest mistake he's made, it meant nothing. He's so good to me, I don't want it to get between us, and I wish I could forget about it but I have this reminder EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. In one week she has went from being one of my closest friends to someone I never want to see again.
I'm rambling
