When people ask this question, my hubby and I always give the same answer....we both wear one leg of the trousers, but my leg is just a little bit bigger than his leg.
But seriously, we both are in charge. There are things that he cares very strongly about that he will not budge on (like me getting anymore pets right now) and there are things that I feel very strongly about that I will not budge on. Otherwise, we let each other make our own decisions. We are a good team when it comes to making dinner and cleaning the house, so neither of us has to boss the other around to get these things done. And we are big boys and girls and we know how to manage our money. We each know what kinds of things are out of our price range and we just don't buy those things and there's just no arguement about it. So, there really is no need for one or the other of us to be "in charge."