Don't tell me how to train my kids!!!

[Willow]

So my three year old son is still potty training.

Anyway, he had several accidents yesterday with wetting himself and last night I forgot to put him in a diaper before bed (still has accidents at night).

So this morning I just put a diaper on him because I have to do his laundry since he used all but one pair of underwear yesterday. He was so upset and crying because he wants to wear his underwear (he is working towards earning a pack of Nemo underwear). I told him it would be ok and that he could try underwear again later today but to keep telling me when he needs to go and I will help him with the diaper.

Well my FIL was here and I am putting the diaper on my son and FIL starts calling my son pee butt and telling him that is bad. My son was already CRYING because I made him wear the diaper, so he already felt bad enough. I turned to my FIL and told him to stop it, that I wasn't going to let him belittle and bully my 3 yr old. His response was it will make him stop peeing in his pants and make him go potty. I said no, it will hurt his feelings and self esteem and kids at school will do that enough when he gets older, he doesn't need Papa doing it!

So my FIL yelled back at me for getting nasty with him and said he will never potty train because mommy keeps babying him. I am NOT babying him! It was devestating to my son to have to wear a diaper today...lets not make him feel worse by making fun or teasing him! I feel the diaper got the point across to my son "if you don't use the potty, you wear a diaper."

[Willow]

I was pretty nasty with him, but he ticked me off because he smarted off to me about all his kids were trained by 3 so I shot back with, "These aren't YOUR kids, they are MINE"

If I don't defend my children, then who will? And if their own GPa makes fun of them, then how am I to help them when kids at school pick on them or tease them? I don't want my kids going through what I went through as a kid!

[Janet]

You did the right thing Willow, I, being the protective mom I am too, would have thrown his sorry a$$ out the door and told him he's not welcome back till he was invited!

That was a horrible humiliated thing for him to do. People like that make me so angry!!!

[Marilyn]

Willow, you are doing great!!!! I guarantee, your son will be potty trained, eventually. My father and FIL were both the types who would criticize like that. My hubby and I both probably carry some emotional scars from our dads. My father tried to criticize one of my daughters once when she was very small, and I jumped right down his throat. Not that I did not respect him, but he crossed the line. My hubby also had to get after his dad a time or two for criticizing our girls when they were small.

It's sad that some people have to be like this. We each have to do our best at this parenting job, and you as you stated are the parent, not them. I'm sure you are an excellent mom!!! You've shown it in other posts.

[khardy57]

Bravo for you Willow! You're right. If you don't take up for your kids no one else will. Your FIL was way out of line and needed to be put in his place.

Children potty train at different rates and belittling them doesn't make it any faster.

My kids were potty trained at different ages. I did not potty train them. They did it themselves with my guidance. Of course they were encouraged to use the big kids potty and all of the things that go along with potty training. But THEY, my kids did it. They were not humiliated into it. They were not verbally attacked or scorned because they weren't trained yet. Each child is different and when they are ready, they will. It worked great too because once they were trained, it was both day and night. No night diapers. 1 was 2 1/2, another 3 and my last one was 4. She hated diapers yet she took the longest. We did the potty chair and all that. She also never climbed out of her crib. So what I did with her was we talked about it for about 2 months about getting her a big girls bed. And also when she got the big girls bed, then we would get rid of the diapers and she would start wearing big girl panties. By the time we transitioned to the big girls bed, she was potty trained.

My kids were easy because I let them do it when they were ready, not because of pressure from others.

[red98vett]

Girl I don't blame you a bit. Some kids are slower than others and he WILL get it when he's ready. Your FIL was acting like a child himself making fun of a little toddler and I know I'd have been pretty upset too. You may want to try getting him on the potty seat every few hours just to get him in the habit but I'm sure you've already tried everything....

I used to read to my boys when they were in the bathroom - they both trained pretty young but my 2nd was the one who had accidents....Look at it like this - how many UNTRAINED adults are there in the world ??? (NOT any that I know lol ) so yes - he WILL get potty trained one day - when he's good and ready... and this is NOT something anyone should be riduculing him over.

Hugs to your son and you - FIL needs to learn to keep his comments to himself ...if he isn't going to HELP then he needs to be quiet.

[Willow]

He does tell me he needs to go, but he is small yet and sometimes he makes it and sometimes he doesn't. I tell him that is ok because atleast he TRIES and trying is what is important. He went all day today without ANY accidents until right before bed and then he had one. BUT he was in the bathroom trying to get to the potty, so I don't really think that counts because he was trying.

My oldest son was easy. I just waited until my husband was in the bathroom...uh...you know...and I snuck down the hallway with my son (who was also 3 at that time) and I said "SEE!! see how daddy pees???" Scared my husband to death, who missed btw! LOL but it worked. The next morning Kody got up and said "I want to go potty just like daddy!"

[Janet]

When our son was little, our Pediatrician told us not to worry, because he had yet to know of one starting in kindergarten that wasn't trained. We were lucky, our son was trained to potty at 2 1/2, but my nephew was 4.