Hard to write about

[judy]

Thanks Tink, and everyone else,

I'm still in shock that she would do such a thing. She could have dropped a postcard in the mail without him ever knowing. She could have said not to contact her.

But, she didn't, and that's the reality I have to face. It sucks, but now I do know that it was never my fault! I always had the normal "mother guilt," thinking that maybe I did do terrible things that I just didn't see.

The truth is I just didn't, so it is her. Like my cousin told me yesterday - I'm beginning to feel closure by accepting that it isn't my fault. I hope she's right.
Closure is important.

I've been taking all of your advice - getting off my butt and out the door. It really helps, so thanks.

I just wish she didn't have MS. That's a whole separate issue - she started treating me badly before she got sick. I do think the husband has a great deal to to do with it. But, MS is a terrible disease to live with. I could be helping her and the children.

Ohhh (sigh)

Love you all,