Not good!

[judy]

Originally Posted by gja1000

Judy, I know that you know that writing is terribly therapeutic - so you've taken the first step by writing it all down.

I know you are feeling more out of sorts due to being "trapped" in the house all week, not even being able to enjoy getting out of doors or to the pool. When I am trapped at home, I just want to climb the walls, I don't do well at home all the time AT ALL!

Janet's suggestion of sitting in the sunlight is so spot on! I do think that Jessie should have known that you needed her - but maybe she just didn't "think". On the other hand, when you plan to be without a car is one thing, but to be without a car unexpectedly - surely you need some things and you would think she would know this!

I can see that you know that volunteering or getting involved with people/groups that need you or the things you know or can do, is the best way to meet people and make friends. It is hard to make friends as we get older - it really takes time and energy to make a new friend and as we get older we just are less inclined to put forth the effort to make a friend. It's one reason older people don't have very many friends, they don't make new ones and the old ones die or move away. My mom has lived with me for 8 years and she doesn't have one single friend down here. She goes to church and has people she "knows" there, but doesn't have a "friend".

It's hard, and lots has been happening lately - not to mention all the adrenaline that flowed through your body during and after the accident! You'll be OK, you know you'll be OK, and you know we love you! Wish we were closer and could sit around that fireplace and visit!

I sure wish we could sit around that fireplace too, and you all just reminded me that I do have friends. I have you all, which is amazing! To be able to sit down and type all of that out, feeling safe, and knowing that it will be taken seriously, and with respect, is really something! I also have a good friend from NYC who I share all of these things with, a cousin I can talk to, an Aunt I don't share my troubles with anymore, but who I love so much, and a few others who are close to me in different ways. I do need some people up here too. I understand about your Mom, Gayle. It really is more energy than I am used to spending!
That's one reason I cut back on the antidepressants. Necessity is the mother of invention (or energy).

As for Jessie, even though she is busy like you said, Janet, she could have sent Steve over here with some provisions! But, I do not want to get stuck in that loop. I cannot count on her for certain things, nor on him, and that's just the way it always was. I love her, I love him, and I sure love those children!!!

At least I will have my car on Wednesday. Yahoo!!!! And then, all of these things will fall into place, and then new things will come up.