Sexist pig

[Lindsey]

I was wondering if any of you have ever had to deal with sexual harassment, and if you took action against it.
There's one guy I go to school with who has always been the biggest jerk. In our first year he tried to be all friendly with me, and it didn't take long for me to figure out he liked me. I told him I would be friends with him but that was IT, I was seeing someone else. We hung out and watched tv or movies once or twice a week. It wasn't long until there were rumors about us dating, but I denied them and he said he did too. Near the end of that year we were watching movies one night and he tried to tickle me, and i hate being tickled more than anything so I told him to stop. He wouldn't. I reached out my hand and tried to push his arm away but i ended up scratching him with my nail and it bled a little. He grabbed me by the wrist and said "Don't you EVER do that to me again, this is your last warning." I guess I didn't mention he's basically a body builder, and everyone has the idea that he's on steroids. I got up and walked out of his apartment right then. I didn't talk to him again for 8 months until we came back to school this January.
When school started again, he would have NOTHING to do with me. He ended up telling anyone who would listen that he slept with me and I'm a huge slut and I have diseases and stuff... and people believed him because instead of denying it last year, he STARTED the rumors. He also decided to tell our mutual friends things that I told him in confidence... that I had been raped and depressed, but he made me sound like I'm uncontrollable and crazy. He also took it out on my cousin who is one of my best friends, and from his hometown. I decided to just let it cool down, get through this year and i'll never have to see him again.
Lately, he's become so self-obsessed and ready to rip apart any girl he sees. Today he was presenting a speech on engineering ethics, but decided to change the topic. Across the board he wrote "Women in Professional Careers: NO!!!" and he did a whole big woman-bashing speil. Women are emotional. Women should stick to cheerleading and nursing. Woman can't handle work. You could tell my instructor was just FUMING inside, and the whole class kept glancing at me and the other two girls in the class. At the end he said "this is just my OPINION so you can't do anything about it." Half of the class was laughing, but I felt personally attacked.
This isn't the first time either. In one class we had to figure out water consumptions based on population and he wrote his population down as x number of MALES. The instructor caught him on that in front of the whole class and he said "Well, females aren't real people." And again, all his little friends laughed.
I am so livid right now. Should I talk to the head of the program about this? They've threatened to kick him out of school about 6 times in the past 2 years, but it always ends up just being a slap on the wrist.
I know hate is a strong word, but I feel nothing else for him.

Wow I'd be so angry! I'm sorry I don't know what you should do....I've never experienced that before. I'm sure someone else here will know what to do. If I were you, though, I would talk to someone....that guy's the biggest jerk. Good luck and I'm so very sorry you have to deal with someone like that....I don't know if I'd be able to stand it

[Lindsey]

I feel so pathetic just sitting there and taking it when he says stuff like that. I get so riled up inside though I feel that if I stand up and say something I'll just cry, and that's what he wants. He wants it to piss us off. We're a minority to begin with... 3 girls out of 20. He just thinks he can say what he wants and break us, especially me, down. It's so obvious that everything he says is directed at me, because he's so mad that I turned him down last year. He talked sh*t about me for 6 months straight. He's 26 years old and acting like he's 12.
There's 6 more weeks of school left. Is it worth doing something about?

[Ponyup]

The school things he's saying about women should get him to trouble with the school, so I wouldn't worry about that. There are a lot of jerks in the world, you will deal with sexist pigs your whole life, trust me, you have to let it roll off your back. You are right if you get emotional he will win. Just be beat them in the industry, work harder, work better. From what you said, the only thing he's done to you personally is the rumors. I know they hurt, trust me I know, but there is really nothing you can do because it's his word against yours. Just make sure that the people that matter to you know the truth & forget about everyone else. You can get through this, only a few more weeks.

[Lindsey]

I think I will just let it go. He makes me feel like dirt every day, but anyone like that just hates theirself I think. The school should be doing more about it though. He has threatened to beat up instructors, and draws little cartoon pictures of himself killing classmates, and posts them on the walls. He got talked to just a couple weeks ago because he was standing outside one instructor's office talking about how he's going to set the whole building on fire after he graduates. He just says "oh I was just joking!" and gets away with anything.
A couple weeks ago he was complaining about the course and instructors, saying how our ONE female instructor should be fired because she can't keep the class under control. He was like "we don't try to be rowdy, but when someone can't control us it just happens!" My mouth dropped open and my friend Tammy yelled at him "You're a f*cking adult, you shouldn't have to be controlled!!!" She got a dirty look but he shut up. Now he just calls her fat behind her back (she's pregnant).

[Ponyup]

I would watch out for yourself if I were you, so of the things he's doing are more then just boys being boys kind of behavior. The things he is saying in "jest" are things of a very serious nature & should be taken seriously. I would begin filing a complaint with the dean any time you witness him behaving in these types of way, that way their is some tracing of these occurances, it may not do any good, but what could it hurt. Also have other people do the same.

[Lindsey]

There have been many complaints about him already. Nobody takes it seriously because I guess nobody wants to deal with it. And I think everyone's a little scared of him. Last semester he was so upset that he didn't understand an assignment he turned around and punched a hole right through the wall! Then stomped out of class like a kid. Nobody knows how to deal with him, so he gets away with everything.
Well, I'm gone for the weekend now. Hopefully a weekend with my boyfriend will calm me down enough to get through another week of being less than a person.

[Ponyup]

Maybe people should start filing complaints with the police then. To be charged with assault a person doesn't actually have to touch you, if you feel threatened you can charge them with assault.

[Janet]

Sorry, I don't have any answer for this one....just be careful!

[Gina]

Lindsey.. I think you should cut all ties with this guy.. Stay away from him , he sounds like big trouble. Actually a nut job.From what you said he does have serious issues and he probably does not have any self esteem. This is a college guy that we are talking about right ?, he sounds very immature. I cannot believe that your teachers let him get away with this behavoir... By what you said he probably likes you big time and can't handle the rejection, I am not a phycologist but boy he has issues with women, big time!!.. As Pony said report it to the police , if your school is not doing anything about it. Just ignore him in class and let his gossip be just that gossip. In the future use better judgement who to confide in , it is going to be hard but as time goes along and he sees that he doesn't get the best of you, he probably will leave you alone.. Be careful hon , he is not normal.

[Lindsey]

I'm back now and a little more calm. I've decided I'm going to just let it slide for 6 weeks. Any job he takes after graduation won't last long, I know that. Last year we both worked for the same company, but in different cities. One night after work he PUNCHED the engineer he was working with in the face. He wasn't offered a job this year with them, and they MADE a job for me to go back.
I'm just happy I won't have to deal with him anymore.... but I kind of wish I would have done something about it earlier.

[Ponyup]

Originally Posted by Lindsey

I'm back now and a little more calm. I've decided I'm going to just let it slide for 6 weeks. Any job he takes after graduation won't last long, I know that. Last year we both worked for the same company, but in different cities. One night after work he PUNCHED the engineer he was working with in the face. He wasn't offered a job this year with them, and they MADE a job for me to go back.
I'm just happy I won't have to deal with him anymore.... but I kind of wish I would have done something about it earlier.

Did the person he punched in the face file charges? They should have. This guy needs to get in trouble big time. He is too old to behave like this & in my personal opinion needs mental help. These are the kind of guys that rape & beat women, stay far far away from him.

[Lindsey]

Originally Posted by Ponyup

Did the person he punched in the face file charges? They should have. This guy needs to get in trouble big time. He is too old to behave like this & in my personal opinion needs mental help. These are the kind of guys that rape & beat women, stay far far away from him.

As far as I know, no charges were filed. He was fired and taken back 3 times I think, in the 8 months he worked there. I think he was taken back just because they were in the middle of big project that he was needed on, and they signed on for giving him 8 months of work experience which is required by this course.
I know he's got some definite problems... he used to brag to me about knocking out his own dad! I hope everything catches up to him soon.

[Miss_Sara]

I know this is an old topic but I hope you're being careful
I'm so lucky that I've never had to deal with it, because even though I'm small, when I'm threatened I can be pretty scary and people just back off. Even guys who choose to try to throw me across a room.

be safe. and stay out if his way, don't get in a fight with him, it just isn't worth it.