Layla

[Lindsey]

Thank you Paula. He said he will use his lunch break to pick up some meat and drive it over for her pills this afternoon. I know he really loves both of us.

[DIANE W]

Ahhh Lindsey I am so upset for everything you are going through, and baby Layla.....

I think he must be feeling a little bit neglected (I know he shouldn't and needs to be supportive), in my experience most men are not good with coping with illness and crisis, I personally think he is being a little selfish, but i am sure deep down he really doesnt mean to. Sometimes how a person is behaving and the affect it has on others are not always obvious.

It is difficult for any couple trying to get through times like this, it just needs working out. But i know it is very hard for you, and i totally understand how you must be feeling..... like you are doing it all alone.
Maybe you do have the very strong maternal bond with Layla that he doesnt have, even though i am sure he loves her very much.

Take care I hope this all works out well for all of you, stress makes people say and do unpleasant things at times, I am sure once you get through it you will be a stronger couple

Sending you all a big hug... especially darling Layla.

[judy]

Welcome to how men deal with a crisis!!! It is very normal for a couple to fight when there is stress, and you both have a lot! You bought the house, and just moved in, and now Layla needs to recover.

If you can, try to remember how much he does love you and Layla. (Just look on FB at his picture kissing her). The reality is that nobody is there for you, or on the same page as you are 100% of the time. You don't really need him to lean on. You are quite strong on your own. He is there, he loves you both, and is doing his best. I would say he is a stand up guy.

If he starts to complain, or yell, don't answer if you can do that. Less is best, and he may just not realize he is just taking his stress on the nearest person around.

[Lindsey]

Thank you. I know he is sorry and he loves us a lot. He is doing so much for Layla even if it's not just being with her all the time like I am. He's setting up appointments for therapy and he arranged for us to pick up a second-hand crate for her tonight after work, and he's really just doing so much extra so that I won't have to do it. I need to remember things like that.

[gja1000]

Hi Lindsay, I'm so sorry all this is happening. It is such a big change right now for all of you.

Please try to remember that it will NOT always be this stressful. You WILL get into a routine and life will become more normal, albeit, changed.

This always happens when a health crisis occurs, even with humans, or our children. It seems like the whole world is crashing down around us and in some ways, it is.

But you will make a new way, and Layla's health will become a part of your life, not your whole life. It will take time for the adjustment to occur, but it will occur, and whatever happens with Layla, whether she gets better or stays the same, you will integrate it into your life and will not be as overwhelming as it is right now. You will learn exactly what to do, when to do it, and you will have a set routine that works.

Think of parents or spouses who go through this with their children or husband/wife - it is completely overwhelming and devastating. It is so stressful and people think they can't cope - but 99% of the time, they can cope and they come through the experience better and stronger for having gone through it.

You will be fine - I KNOW it doesn't seem like that right now, but you will be fine. You need to connect with someone who has gone through this with a pet. You need to try to be able to call or connect with them on a regular basis. It will help you to talk with people who have been through it and who are doing just fine. They will validate that your feelings are normal (and they are) and they will be able to give you hope that you can cope (and you can).

I'm not minimizing what you are going through - at all. It is one of the most traumatic things you have ever delt with. But you will get through it. You are a strong, smart, and resourceful woman.

I wish I were there to give you a big HUG!

[Gina]

Lindsey I agree with the other girls.. You and Scott have been through a lot , between the move and Layla its taking an emotional toll. Most men do not know how to cope with sickness and my husband is one of them.. We are women and like Paula mentioned we have maternal instincts , we do best at it. Try not to fight and just over look his frustrations thats what they are and he is acting out on it. He feels helpless that he cannot help Layla in her condition and is afraid as you are... Gayle hit it on the head you are both overwhelmed and in time all will fall into place..

Get some rest and just give Layla love and please don't put up a barrier with Scott try to understand where he is coming from.. It's not easy, you both need to be there for Layla and each other... hugs to you...

[Blueyes]

You've been given wonderful advice Lindsey. I don't have anything to add except that I love you and am praying for you all.