Serious Question About Nursing Homes

[judy]

I think you are right to keep the reality somewhere in your mind, but we are here for you whenever you want to bring it up. I do the same with Jessie, and I did it with my mother, who also had heaert failure.

One breath at a time.

[DianaB]

We all realize that Gary's health is fragile and that you do a wonderful job of making sure he's in the best health that he can be in. I know that I couldn't do as good of a job as you do because I don't understand the medical field. It shows how much you love Gary. Should anything happen to Gary you can rest assured that you have definitely given him the best quality of life that is within your reach. You are a good wife!!

[Blueyes]

We are in the same boat Gayle. Our plans have to be made a little differently than most people. There is a rule her about Spousal Impoverishment. When my mom had a stroke and had to go to a nursing home, my dad got to keep their house and his retirement. Her SS went to the nursing home. They only had one car, but he did have to make me beneficiary of his life insurance.

[judy]

My Dad was in the same boat as you both, Gayle and Betsi. He did everything possible for her, and gave her everything. When she died, he told me he felt guilty because she always wanted a terrace, and he never gave her that. I guess that's how it is....always something to feel guilty about, but I don't think that lasted long.

I spoke to my financial planner yesterday. I would have to sign my house and my annuity (IRA?) over to Jessie 5 years before I end up in a nursing home. He asked if I have any health issues. I gratefully (Thank you God) told him that I don't; just preparing things. He said they do not think it is a good idea. I lose all power over my house, and that's just not good. My annuity would have to be sold, taxes paid, and then signed over to Jessie. I don't have enough in there to bother. He ssaid that if I were wealthy, he would recommend long term care insurance, but the premiums are quite high. His suggestion....forget about it and enjoy my life.

I guess I will revisit this once a year, and make a decision based on circumstances. I do want to leave something for Jessie. I can figure it out somehow.

I hope I don't end up in a nursing home anyway. I'd rather die in my sleep, or very quickly at least.

[DianaB]

That's interesting to find out, judy.

The price of nursing home care is quite a worry for all of us. I agree with dying quickly so there's not a lot of expenses at the end of life. I would hate for Glen to lose the farm and our home.

[Blueyes]

That's what I have been looking in to...long term insurance. It's cheaper the younger you are when you get it..of course you pay for it longer, in theory.

[gja1000]

Re: long term care insurance - if you are younger (and I don't know at what age) it is better to start some sort of savings account for long term care, rather than paying the long term care premiums because you have long enough to save the amount you would need for long term care, and if you DON'T need long term care when you get older, then your family can get that money when you die. But if you are older and can afford the premiums which are pretty pricey when you are older, then it is OK because you probably won't pay in as much as you would use if you needed long term care.

Does that make sense?