Family issues

[Janet]

I don't know what the problem would be to have a chat with her yourself. Most problems between two people are cured by having a real good heart to heart conversation. Communication is key for every relationship.

I would also speak to your brother in person and tell him how you feel. Letter are okay, but sometimes the written word can be read with a different meaning than how it was written.

[DIANE W]

I agree about letters, often not showing the true meaning, but personally i could not trust myself to keep calm and cool enough for a face to face confrontation, to me she sounds like she wouldnt be receptive, and the danger would be a huge argument that would make things worse.

I find with a letter in black and white, it can be re-read and digested, hopefully giving an opportunity to see your point of view - where spoken words can be twisted somewhat.

You do what is right for you Lindsey..... maybe nothing if thats what you decide, we all handle things differently. As i said though i would put it behind me and not have any contact unless necessary, shame i know, but its just not worth how it makes you feel.

[Shada]

I feel so bad you have to deal with this. Your brother has to know how she is.. sounds like she is very obvious! How can he allow her to be like that with his own Mother and you?? Wrong.
I understand the children, and him wanting, needing to be there for them.. but I am sure she is blowing a smoke screen in threatening to leave him.. and if she does I think he would be better of for sure!! Also if her nature is to be such a uncaring rude person how good can she be to him or the kids??

I would talk to him and let him know if he needs to see you he will have to come to your home. Or your families.. without her. Why should you and your Mom have to put up with such rudeness??

Good luck to you. So sorry you are going thru such a mess.

[Lindsey]

Thanks, guys! I have decided to care a little less. I think my hormones being crazy makes things a lot worse for me right now.

I talked to my mom last night and let her know how we are being talked about. She was disgusted by it too, but basically said there's nothing we can do. He has made the decision to be with her and we just have to sit by and not let it ruin our lives! She also said that when we are in Mexico for their wedding, we won't need to be around them besides for the ceremony. They aren't having a reception for family after the ceremony, they are just going to a dance bar with their friends for the evening. So I guess I can hang out with my family at the resort. I know their friends all hate me anyway, but I just have to be happy for my own life and the people who choose to be in my life because they like who I am.

[DianaB]

She is the one who is making herself miserable. She's missing out on some great family time and friendships with you and your Mom. It's her loss. I would just ignore her.........be a family with her stuck pouting at the sidelines! Enjoy being around your brother.......try to include her but don't baby her. Hopefully one day she'll realize that it's not worth acting like this and get over it!

[Lindsey]

Hopefully you're right, Diana!