What about porn?

[rivermom]

I respect everyone's opinion that has posted so far on this topic. I do have to say I feel differently though.

Porn is in my house. Not via the computer watched by myself or hubby but my hubby has Playboy and we do have video's. I have to admit, There are times when I will pick up the newest copy of his Playboy and read it before he even get's around to it. LOL Actually they really do have good articles in there and I feel the pictures of woman are tastefully done and are very beautiful.

Does it make me feel insecure or not sexy when he looks at his magazine's? Nope, not really. I can make my ownself feel these things with it by eating too much, feeling lazy and not wearing make-up, putting on shabby under garmets, etc. Him reading a magazine w/ beautiful woman is not going to make me feel insecure. He is a good husband and having him read Playboy doesn't interfere w/ any of our marriage, our lives, etc.

Now the movies....We both watch them together actually. What can I say? I am older, less hormones or whatever and it takes A LOT to get me excited. It is hard to "turn off the day's events, forget the dishes are not done, and BAM become all romantic feeling etc." So, not giving details, but us watching a movie, maybe taking out lotions and rubbing each other's backs or necks to relax etc, helps "turn it on" sorta say. I just don't see how this is "bad for our marriage".

Now hubby (nor I) get online to watch porn. He is too busy working hard so we can keep a roof over our head and well I just don't find it neccessary for such things.

There are different levels of porn and I of course have my limits. I and my hubby too feels it completely wrong to involve kids/porn, or S & M situations. Like I said, everyone has their limits or knows where to draw the line. Other's don't I guess??

I also don't feel that if another married man video's or read's porn he finds his wife less appealing. Nor does it mean he will cheat, etc. I think most men are attracted to a pretty female and are more visual in what "turns them on". It's how the "male" is built.

So there ya go. Those are my thoughts about all this stuff.

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by rivermom

I respect everyone's opinion that has posted so far on this topic. I do have to say I feel differently though.

Porn is in my house. Not via the computer watched by myself or hubby but my hubby has Playboy and we do have video's. I have to admit, There are times when I will pick up the newest copy of his Playboy and read it before he even get's around to it. LOL Actually they really do have good articles in there and I feel the pictures of woman are tastefully done and are very beautiful.

Does it make me feel insecure or not sexy when he looks at his magazine's? Nope, not really. I can make my ownself feel these things with it by eating too much, feeling lazy and not wearing make-up, putting on shabby under garmets, etc. Him reading a magazine w/ beautiful woman is not going to make me feel insecure. He is a good husband and having him read Playboy doesn't interfere w/ any of our marriage, our lives, etc.

Now the movies....We both watch them together actually. What can I say? I am older, less hormones or whatever and it takes A LOT to get me excited. It is hard to "turn off the day's events, forget the dishes are not done, and BAM become all romantic feeling etc." So, not giving details, but us watching a movie, maybe taking out lotions and rubbing each other's backs or necks to relax etc, helps "turn it on" sorta say. I just don't see how this is "bad for our marriage".

Now hubby (nor I) get online to watch porn. He is too busy working hard so we can keep a roof over our head and well I just don't find it neccessary for such things.

There are different levels of porn and I of course have my limits. I and my hubby too feels it completely wrong to involve kids/porn, or S & M situations. Like I said, everyone has their limits or knows where to draw the line. Other's don't I guess??

I also don't feel that if another married man video's or read's porn he finds his wife less appealing. Nor does it mean he will cheat, etc. I think most men are attracted to a pretty female and are more visual in what "turns them on". It's how the "male" is built.

So there ya go. Those are my thoughts about all this stuff.

I think it all depends on how the wife or gf feels about it. If she feels cheated or not valued in any way, then it is a problem. If it causes arguments, I think the guy should stop out of respect for her. JMO.

[cindy0721]

i see your point,,, Like I said hubby and I have gone through this... to me honestly.... between us .. I think I can live with it... I would much rather deal with this whatever it's called than going out to strip clubs, staying out with the boys late, a drinking or drug problem.. however my arguement to him has always been the sneaking around to do it... to me when you sneak around it means you have something to be ashamed of or guilty for... I probably don;t help the situation by not being more understanding but it is a work in progress... I don't think there is a man out there that has not done it or is not doing it... like riversmom said ...it's the way they are built.. just like us woman we are built with the mother hen gene...lol

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by cindy0721

I don't think there is a man out there that has not done it or is not doing it...

I'm going to respectfully disagree...because I know that my husband doesn't.

I will be honest and tell you that I absolutely hate it! Especially if it is looked at or watched behind my back. It makes me feel so gross.... Its been an issue to me for a whlie. I could go on and on about the reasons I dont like it.

[Taurus Babe]

Originally Posted by rivermom

I respect everyone's opinion that has posted so far on this topic. I do have to say I feel differently though.

Porn is in my house. Not via the computer watched by myself or hubby but my hubby has Playboy and we do have video's. I have to admit, There are times when I will pick up the newest copy of his Playboy and read it before he even get's around to it. LOL Actually they really do have good articles in there and I feel the pictures of woman are tastefully done and are very beautiful.

Does it make me feel insecure or not sexy when he looks at his magazine's? Nope, not really. I can make my ownself feel these things with it by eating too much, feeling lazy and not wearing make-up, putting on shabby under garmets, etc. Him reading a magazine w/ beautiful woman is not going to make me feel insecure. He is a good husband and having him read Playboy doesn't interfere w/ any of our marriage, our lives, etc.

Now the movies....We both watch them together actually. What can I say? I am older, less hormones or whatever and it takes A LOT to get me excited. It is hard to "turn off the day's events, forget the dishes are not done, and BAM become all romantic feeling etc." So, not giving details, but us watching a movie, maybe taking out lotions and rubbing each other's backs or necks to relax etc, helps "turn it on" sorta say. I just don't see how this is "bad for our marriage".

Now hubby (nor I) get online to watch porn. He is too busy working hard so we can keep a roof over our head and well I just don't find it neccessary for such things.

There are different levels of porn and I of course have my limits. I and my hubby too feels it completely wrong to involve kids/porn, or S & M situations. Like I said, everyone has their limits or knows where to draw the line. Other's don't I guess??

I also don't feel that if another married man video's or read's porn he finds his wife less appealing. Nor does it mean he will cheat, etc. I think most men are attracted to a pretty female and are more visual in what "turns them on". It's how the "male" is built.

So there ya go. Those are my thoughts about all this stuff.

To me, Porn is just porn. Now I guess you could say that about strippers too, but I think it's different. I don't have any problems with porn, or my bf watching it. We actually watch it together sometimes. I feel it's different because 1) they are not getting naked in front of you in real life and 2) they are not performing for your husband or boyfriend. You know how stripper flirt and project themselves on "their prey" , "our men". It's just not as personal.

[Ponyup]

My husband doesn't like porn. He just doesn't get it & it doesn't do anything for him. He's more mental than visual. I watched porn a lot in college, we used to have porn parties & play drinking games & make fun of the dialect & plot. it was fun. I would watch it now with my husband, but it doesn't do anything for him so we don't. I don't have a problem with strip clubs either. I've gone with my husband many times & I wouldn't care if he wanted to just go with the boys. What's important to me is that I know what's going on & he's not sneakin around. I know he's mine & he's not gonna do anything with or leave me for a stripper.

[rivermom]

[QUOTE=Ponyup] we used to have porn parties & play drinking games & make fun of the dialect & plot. it was fun. [QUOTE]


This made me smile and laugh!

[Tink]

My hubby has never really been into porn. He has watched it with friends, but doesn't bring it into our house, and certainly understands why I don't get into it.

For us it's a matter of respect and that includes self respect. What does it do to a relatiponship when you have to hide things about yourself out of fear of upsetting your spouse? It isn't a good thing whether you're hiding porn, over-spending, or anything else you know they don't approve of.

I think saying it's a "guy thing" is just an attempt to justify it. Not all guys are into it, and those whose wives aren't, need to respect her feelings as well if they expect to keep her happy. It's kinda sad to think anyone would risk a relationship for a fantasy.

[RLC12345678]

I am a very secure woman and I am very secure with my marriage. As long as it's not interfering with our sex life or our relationship, then I have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. I honestly have NO idea if he looks at the stuff or not, and since our relationship is great and our marriage is great, I'm not going to go sneak around on his computer to find out.

I completely agree with Rivermom in that if a man does look at porn, that certainly does not mean that he doesn't think his wife is beautiful or that he is going to cheat. Men just like looking at pretty women.

porn to my hubby is like romance paperbacks to me.
he doesn't tell me i should stop reading my paperback smut and i don't tell him he shouldn't watch his porn. it's just different strokes for different folks.