What to do...

[Lindsey]

Originally Posted by judy

Dear Lindsey,

I hope I'm wrong, but I'm beginning to see a red flag here.

You're a beautiful, intelligent young woman. Don't sell yourself short.

Judy

Yeah. I think I already know. I feel like I just want to deny it and hope for the best for a little while longer

[judy]

Absolutely keep trying until you're sure! You never know what will really happen.

I'm behind you

[Lindsey]

One more big blow-up last night. She sat on my lap for a couple minutes and he snatched her up and put her out of my room and slammed the door. I asked what was going on because she wasn't doing anything, and he said "She was making me mad. She was sitting there staring at me" So I guess it really is just anything now... we fought for hours and he kept saying "Is there even a point? Is this going to work out" and I told him "I'm not forcing you to stay here, or to stay with me. If you can't handle this, you can leave, and you don't have to be with me." and he turned it around and said "Is that what you really want? You want to just break up with me over a dog?" eventually we just both got tired of fighting and crying and he cracked a smile and told me he's sorry and i'm beautiful. This morning he left my house all happy, but I can't stop thinking about it. I just sent him this email:

Hi. Well I really don't know what to say here. I'm not trying to be grumpy and I'm not mad. I've just been thinking about last night. I wouldn't have gotten into this relationship at all if I thought it wouldn't work. I don't put a friendship at risk unless I really really like someone. I didn't see this coming, all the fighting. It just came up out of nowhere. Why did you get involved if you knew this all before? You and Ryden had talks about my dog, you've told me that. You knew the situation before you got into it. You even said it just kept building up over the whole time, so why didn't you just stop when it started bothering you? Is she really the whole problem here?
If you're already thinking that this isn't going to work and it's not worth working on, then let me know. I do really like you and I want to be with you, but sometimes I don't want to deal with all the frustration I feel from fighting over and over about the same thing. I don't think we've gone a week since we've been dating that you haven't asked me if I'm dumping you yet. I just don't feel like you have much faith in us.
I'm not going to break up with you. You can let your little wall down, and just accept me and accept being with me. And if not, then you can take the next step. I don't want to keep rollercoastering like we have been.
I guess that's about all...
-Lindsey

[Gina]

Lindsey, I am by far no expert, but I am a mature older woman. I think he is grasping at straws here. My husband is no animal lover but my daughter brought Gucci home 3 yrs ago. He has fallen in love with her, he doesnt kiss her but he shows his love in other ways.

I do believe your dog is not the issue here, he is using her as. He seems to be picking at fights with you for no apparent reason. Like Judy has mention earlier your a beautiful young intelligent girl. Do you really need this drama in your life? I personally think that you should move on. Don't settle, not at your age. Have the men chasing you. You deserve better than that. I have a 20 yr.old daughter and this is what I would be telling my daughter if it were her... Good luck sweetie.

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Gina

He seems to be picking at fights with you for no apparent reason.

I agree Gina. Lindsey, you need to do what is best for you. You don't want to end up in a long term relationship where there are fights like this all the time. You deserve better. Good luck girl!

[Shada]

I can see so much of myself in your posts about this guy...

This was a few years back, but I was seeing somebody, who said all the right things, did all the right things, THEN, when he thought he had ME in control, started in on the dogs..I had two dogs, (still have them, but he is gone!!)

He at the beginning, 'loved my dogs', then he changed to a person who did not want to be bothered, my dogs were constantly yelled at, not allowed off their beds, when he was around, he continually spoke to them harshly, 'lay down, get on your bed, get out of the kitchen, stay out of the bedroom".. it got BAD, I let it go for awhile thinking he would change, the only thing that changed was my dogs attitude when he was around. They turned into fearful creatures that were scared to make a move whe he was around.

Truthfully, when he was here, they were scared to move off their beds. Within 1 minute of his leaving, they were once again happy dogs. They apparently were terrified of him!! We got into many fights, disagreements, over the way he treated my dogs. My dogs are not wild unmanageable creatures. As I am sure yours is not.

Main thing I am trying to say here is:
This is a control issue. Do not let him control how you live with your dog. If he wins this battle, there will be another.. then another.. till he has total say about your every move or thought.

I got rid of that idiot. I want someone who can, and will accept me as I am, to accept the pets I have, if they can't, then goodbye.
They were here before any man, and when I took them into my home, I promised them a life with me, a life where I could give them the loyalty they give to me.

I am a package deal. Love me, love my dogs.

Lets say you let him win the dog battle, you then have a happy man who controls you, and a dog who is terrifed and can't understand...

What is the next battle??

[judy]

Lindsey,

Maybe it's time to start focusing on something else . He's just not....whatever.

So, what kind of tattoo do you want to get? I have some good websites and you have the one you designed. Maybe you can get TWO!!!!



Judy

PS Sorry sweetie, but I think "And the truth shall set you free."