Adhd

[Necee419]

That makes sense. He is good in anything that involves lots of brain stimulation. Like if you buy him those complicated Legos sets (like Star Wars, etc.), he'll spend hours constructing the images on the box. Hubby made him and his sister get books from the library to read over the summer and it was torture for him. He hates to read. His mom took him off the medication because he complained that he didn't like the way he felt on them. He just started the new school year in Florida and already my husband has gotten a few calls from his mom saying he isn't doing well and has gotten in trouble a few times already. My husband is resolved the he is never going to be an "einstein." I feel so bad for him.

[Janet]

Have them talk to his Drs. again. Maybe they can ask him about Concerta. It's a one a day, time released pill and it makes my son stay focused. We don't notice any change in his behavior, moods, or anything like that. It just helps him stay on task and focused. Do give up on him yet. They know how they are feeling and it wears on them too, not to be able to concentrate.

[Necee419]

I wish I could do more for him but being the "stepmom" there is only so much I can say. I express my opinions to my husband but he lets the mom make most of those decisions since she is the one taking care of him. She is another story, the poor woman is manic depressive and is on meds too. Sometimes she is in bed all day and the kids have to fend for themselves. My stepdaughter is 13 and she has to remind her mom to take her medication sometimes. It is as if they are raising themselves. They don't come to live with us because it would devastate their mom. My stepson has many anger issues as well as the ADD so together it is a recipe for disaster.

[Janet]

Originally Posted by Necee419

I wish I could do more for him but being the "stepmom" there is only so much I can say. I express my opinions to my husband but he lets the mom make most of those decisions since she is the one taking care of him. She is another story, the poor woman is manic depressive and is on meds too. Sometimes she is in bed all day and the kids have to fend for themselves. My stepdaughter is 13 and she has to remind her mom to take her medication sometimes. It is as if they are raising themselves. They don't come to live with us because it would devastate their mom. My stepson has many anger issues as well as the ADD so together it is a recipe for disaster.

Who could blame him for being angry...his parents are divorced, his father is so far away, his mom is manic depressive, he and his sister have to "take care" of his mother, his grades are failing, (other students probably know this and can be cruel), plus all the feelings he is having because of his ADD. His father needs to step in and help his children. If the mother can't handle it, then she needs to get some help. He needs to take care of his children, above all else. It doesn't have to be permanent..just until things straighten out.

[Necee419]

He always talks to their mom and tells her if she needs time to take care of herself, to send them to us. She doesn't want to because she says they are all she has. She has a husband but they have their own problems in that relationship. My husband has been divorced from her for 10 years so the kids are pretty used to it and I don't think that is an issue. She uses my husband as a threat to the kids "better shape up or I'm sending you to your father". My husband is very stern with them and they are afraid of him. When they are with us they are straight and well behaved. Once they go home, mom lets them go out with their friends and hang out and get away with lots of things. Then when they act up, she calls my husband.

[Janet]

Originally Posted by Necee419

He always talks to their mom and tells her if she needs time to take care of herself, to send them to us. She doesn't want to because she says they are all she has. She has a husband but they have their own problems in that relationship. My husband has been divorced from her for 10 years so the kids are pretty used to it and I don't think that is an issue. She uses my husband as a threat to the kids "better shape up or I'm sending you to your father". My husband is very stern with them and they are afraid of him. When they are with us they are straight and well behaved. Once they go home, mom lets them go out with their friends and hang out and get away with lots of things. Then when they act up, she calls my husband.

Let me begin by apologizing for what I'm about to say. Please do not take it as critisisim or in a negative way....PLEASE.

Those children need someone to intervene for them. It is not their responsibility to give their mother something to live for. What a heavy burden on top of everything else. NO CHILD UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD BE USED TO IT. They need to know that others don't live like that. If she and her husband are having problems, then she needs to do what is best for her children FIRST. If not her, then their father!

Those children should not be AFRAID of their father. Somewhere along the line he crossed it in his discipline. They need him and need him now, before the young man turns to other means to make himself feel better. Please, please talk with your husband or show him this thread...his children need him.

[RLC12345678]

Originally Posted by Janet

Let me begin by apologizing for what I'm about to say. Please do not take it as critisisim or in a negative way....PLEASE.

Those children need someone to intervene for them. It is not their responsibility to give their mother something to live for. What a heavy burden on top of everything else. NO CHILD UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD BE USED TO IT. They need to know that others don't live like that. If she and her husband are having problems, then she needs to do what is best for her children FIRST. If not her, then their father!

Those children should not be AFRAID of their father. Somewhere along the line he crossed it in his discipline. They need him and need him now, before the young man turns to other means to make himself feel better. Please, please talk with your husband or show him this thread...his children need him.

I agree 110%, Janet. Your hubby needs to intervene. They should not be "taking care" of their mother. Their mother is being SO selfish...she "needs" them?? NO! Those kids NEED someone to take care of THEM. They need to be KIDS. A 13 year old girl needs to be able to be a kid. Please talk to your hubby. Those kids need someone to love them and take care of THEM.

[Necee419]

No offense taken. The kids are afraid of my husband because he is serious and stern but he has never hit them. I think it is more like they don't have the comfort they have with their mom, they walk all over her but would never dare do that with Dad. They respect him more than they do her, all he has to do is talk to them and they listen. I agree that they are burdened with caring for their mom. It is something I feel very sad about as does my husband. According to him, she threatened to commit suicide if he ever took the kids from her. Despite her health problems she is a good mother and loves them very much, as they do her. It is all so very sad.