Another Mom Update

[rivermom]

Originally Posted by lynne b

Janet you & I have talked endlessly about this so you know how I feel for you in this situation. I have met Ricky and he seems to be a very polite and kind young man, you have every right to be proud of him.
As for your mother I am right there with you as you know, I am going through the same thing with mine, luckly I have 2 daughter's that pitch in and help me but it's still exhausting mainly because I have to make all of the finale decisions on everything. My oldest daughter takes care of most of the medical things (med's & dr app.) with me makeing the finale approval on everything. I take care of her finances and sometimes it's hard to keep up with her's & mine all at the same time, I am finding that here in the last year I am getting my own bills out just in the nick of time trying to make sure her's are taken care of. And then there is grocery shopping and just shopping in general ( this women loves to shop) I on the other hand dread it so I try to leave that to my youngest daughter, she takes after her g-mother in that department. I do have a brother in Cali that helps in the major problems that occur he is able to fly home almost anytime I need his help or at least a couple of times a year and thought that helps it's the everyday things that are the most exhausting.
I have noticed over the last few years that alot of people my age (48) are going through the same thing we are, have already lost 1 or both of there parents and it seems to me that we are starting to care for our parents at a much younger age than our parents did with their parents. My dad has been gone for 3yrs and my mom took care of him and her own parents and my dads mom but it seemed like mom was older at the time she started doing this, although my mom is only 72, does anyone else see this trend where the younger people are takeing care of their parents? What does that say for us are our kids going to be takeing care of us at a younger age and most definatly with the cost of liveing today (most of our kids are just getting by) will they be able to care for us finacally? We are lucky that our parents lived through the era of most of them being finacally set. (most not all). I know that I would not be able to finacally care for my mother , thank god she has good ins and a good retierment from my dad.
Sorry so long but sometimes it just really gets to me and Janet you know I am right there with ya girl.
Lynne

I've watched documentary's on television that talks about the number of kids caring for one or both of their parents. They discussed the physical and emotional exhaustion that the child(ren) experience with the care giving but they wouldn't give up such an unselfish gift of love for the world. Mentioned also were the support groups to council the siblings who give this type of care both part/full time to deal with all the stress it brings.

My parents recently moved close to me for this reason. In time my hubby and I will be their care giver.

Many hugs to you now who are already given this care to your Mom's and or Dad's... I take careful notice for what all you go through in preparation/learning for when that time comes for myself to give such care as you all do.

[Janet]

Sheryl, you just brought up a great point...I wish I had time to find and go to a support group. I guess if things get much more hectic, I'm going to have to make time.

[Mandy]

Janet, that is an excellent idea, you know we will always be here to support you, but we cant do much more than type to you, it would be a lot different if we lived closer for sure. I really hope they will have support groups here for when the time comes that we have to be the care givers to our parents. I will need it.

[Janet]

I'm going to wait until the after the first of the year and check into it. I think it would really help. Our town is small, so I'm not sure if there is such a group, but I will be checking it out.

Don't worry Mandy about not being closer...You all are such a big help in so many ways. Sometimes it's just nice to get a different perspective on things. When you're in the middle of it all, it's hard to see what's really there, kind of like that saying "can't see the forest for the trees". I know I am doing good because of all of you.