Joke of the Day

[Chandra Amaya]

wow the tide is great! and the love is just adorable. Some times it takes a child's eye to make us remember.

[katcarasella]

~Friday~May 9th~Joke~

An old couple were sitting in church and the wife noticed that people were staring at her. She leaned across to her husband and whispered,
"I've just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"
He said,"I think you should get batteries for your hearing aid."


An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution.
"You need to be careful about trying these techniques at home."
"Why?" asked somebody from the audience.
"I watched my wife's routine at dinner for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Honey, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'
"Did it save time?" the guy in the audience asked.
"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 30 minutes to make dinner. Now I do it in ten..."

[DianaB]

I like the jokes you come up with, Kat! These are really cute!!!!

[katcarasella]

~Saturday~May 10th~Joke

While recently riding on the bus standing up, a friend of mine grabbed onto the pole nearest her to keep herself steady while the bus traveled down the road. She soon noticed a young man, who was also hanging on to the same pole, staring at her. Although this was somewhat annoying, she decided to just look the other way.
Soon the bus came to a stop. Clearing his throat, the young man said,
"Excuse me. This is my stop."
Since she wasn't blocking his way, my friend was slightly confused.
"Well," she said, "go ahead."
"And this is my pole," the young man said.
My friend was completely perplexed until the young man added, "I just bought it at the hardware store to hold up my shower curtain."

[Janet]

LOLOL.....good one!


Kat, I like your jokes. Not only are they funny, they're clean!

[teri88]

Now that is funny! something I could see happening to me!

[katcarasella]

SUNDAY~MAY 11TH~MOTHER'S DAY

You Know You're a Mom When ......


1. Your feet stick to the kitchen floor.....and you don't care.

2. When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room together and not let them out until someone's bleeding.

3. You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.

4. You spend an entire week wearing sweats.

5. Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking bodily fluids on you.

6. Popsicles become a food staple.

7. Your favorite television show is a cartoon.

8. Peanut butter and jelly is eaten at least in one meal a day.

9. You're willing to kiss your child's boo-boo, regardless of where it is.

10. Your baby's pacifier falls on the floor and you give it back to her, after you suck the dirt off of it because your too busy to wash it off.

11. Your kids make jokes about flatulence, burping, pooping, etc. and you think it's funny.

12. You're so desperate for adult conversation that you spill your guts to the telemarketer that calls and HE hangs up on YOU!

13. Spit is your number one cleaning agent.

14. You're up each night until 10 PM vacuuming, dusting, wiping, washing, drying, loading, unloading, shopping, cooking, driving, flushing, ironing, sweeping, picking up, changing sheets, changing diapers, bathing, helping with homework, paying bills, budgeting, clipping coupons, folding clothes, putting to bed, dragging out of bed, brushing, chasing, buckling, feeding (them, not you), PLUS swinging, playing baseball, bike riding, pushing trucks, cuddling dolls, roller balding, basketball, football, catch, bubbles, sprinklers, slides, nature walks, coloring, crafts, jumping rope, PLUS raking, trimming, planting, edging, mowing, gardening, painting, and walking the dog. You get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and yet...you still managed to gain 10 pounds.

15. In your bathroom there is toothpaste on the light fixtures, water all over the floor, a dog drinking out of the toilet and body hair forming a union to protest unsafe working conditions.

16. You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.

17. The closest you get to gourmet cooking is making rice crispies bars.