Teenagers

[Mandy]

Originally Posted by Chimchim

I've always been really close to my girls, more so with my oldest. A mama's girl. Until recently that is. She just turned 17 and has been with her boyfriend for the past 8 months. Now she rarely is home and hardly spends any time with me and I'm having a hard time with it. Worse is that she spends more time with his mom now and I'm trying really hard to not get my nose bent out of shape.

You guys have any experience with this and any advice on how I can handle it without saying/doing the wrong thing?

It sure is tough!!
Welcome to the club! I'm having similar issues with my son.
He has a girlfriend and her parents want him there almost every weekend. A few weeks ago, he was invited to go to a wedding with them, the wedding was on saterday evening, so friday 6pm her mother phones me, telling me that she's picking my son up in 10 minutes time I didnt put he's clothes ready for him, because i had told him that we would be taking him to their house on saterday afternoon. Well, i flipped my lid and told her that in future she may just want to discuss it with US and i don't appreciate last minute calls!

Now if her daughter comes to our house for a few days, she get's all snotty.
I make her phone her mom in the evenings when she's here to let her know, she's OK... I also appreciate it when my son phones me when he's away to let me know he's ok.
When she phones her mom, she get's all nasty with her, tells her that she will sell her horse and rabbits, just because she's with us for a few days
That child has a blast when she's here, she confides in me a LOT and tells me things that worry her, she has also told me many times what her mother is like etc etc...

I can go on and on LOL...

[Mandy]

Oh and be nice to the boyfriend, make him feel so welcome. Speak to your daughter, and tell her you would like it if they spend some time with you to go and do some things together.
Remember never say bad things to her about her big love, sometimes we have to use reverse psychology with these teens

It's tough, i know... but the secret is to get their positive attention.

[Carolyn]

I have about 10 years before I have to go through this and I can't even think about it. Sorry about this!

[Mandy]

Originally Posted by Carolyn

I have about 10 years before I have to go through this and I can't even think about it. Sorry about this!

Enjoy them while they small, time goes so fast, before you know it, they look all grown up!

[magnolia]

Mandy has given some great advice! Express your wish to spend time with the two of them, just as they spend time with the other family....invite them to dinner, a movie, or just a night of fun!!

My oldest just got his learner's permit for driving (about a year behind his friends but we didn't feel he was ready before now) which means, by law here in MS, he'll be able to get his license in 6 months and will have the "freedom" to pick his own dates up and go places without us so my time will come in the spring! And my youngest is 13. So, I have at least 6 months of "calm before the storm" of teenage "going and doing" phase!

Best of luck to you