I'm deeply hurt......

[Emmsmom]

Good for you! I wouldn't give in either. Just keep trying to remember that there will come a day when she will need you.....In my case I told my husband that his mom and dad had better go to the other kids because they won't get any help from me. You have been a good wife to her son for 34 years.. You deserve some respect and if she isn't willing to give it then to hell with them I say! I am here if you need to vent as well. Take Care!

[Tink]

Diana, that just plain stinks.
I dare bet it's nothing you've done or NOT done. It's them who have narrow minds and hearts and couldn't manage to include you and yours. As Emms said, "to H#!! with them and their attitude.

The older I get, the more shocked I am by the number of families that are just plain messed up and hateful. It sounds like your MIL is in that category. It's sad, but she's the one missing out... and she's too stubborn and foolish to see it.

HUGS we all know you're a wonderful person and love you dearly. It's not the love of a mother in law, but it's the love of friends and peers for one who deserves it.

[Gina]

Oh Diana.. Please don't get upset , your MIL and her family sound like ignorant people. I am sorry to say that. You are a wonderful woman , she should be so happy that her son has a wife who has been by his side for so many years and have mutual love and respect for each other. Not to many couples have what you have in your marriage. I think she sounds like a bitter old woman, and your SIL are no better. They probably are all jealous bitties.

In all honesty your husband shouldn't have told you . I understand that he is hurt also but this will sever whatever little relationship you have had. As far as your kids, what kind of grandmother would favor one over the other. My mother had 10 and loved them all equally. Diana honey these are your children and to h*@**@ with her..


I will keep you in my prayers. Diana it's not you, you are a beautiful person inside and out.. We all love you so please don't cry anymore...

[Janet]

Sounds like everyone is agreeing 100% on this Diana. It will probably be sad at her funeral. When people are allowed to say something like at your FIL....no one will want to say anything for her. What a big difference.

It was like that with my in-laws too. When my FIL passed...there were so many people, but he knew a lot, from the floral buisness. But when my MIL passed...there was mostly just family. Since it was a mixed family...I felt sorry for my MIL kids....(FIL stepkids)

[Dobie]

I know it will probably sound cliche, but it's the truth - by not recognizing what a wonderful person you are, and opening her heart to you, she is the one who is losing out - not you.

Keep your chin up!

[judy]

I'm so sorry that you're hurt Diana. I can't understand her reaction to you. I think I have to agree with Gina. They're jealous of you. You and your dh have something special between you, your children are wonderful, and you are so good
and enjoy life so much. Your strong faith is also something they must envy.

I would just love to have you in my family! I would be so proud!

Life is too short and too sweet to waste your time on people like them!

[teri88]

Oh Diana, I know that really hurts! I can't say anything that will make it hurt less, I'm so sorry you are going through this. And when you see her hurt your children...well, I know the mama bear in you wants to ring her neck!

My BIL who has been in the family as long as I have said some very hateful things at my 40th birthday party. It just shattered me. It was 9 years ago and it still hurts. I decided to comepletly ignore him at every family party. I would just look him in the face and walk away. The problem was every time I did that it brought the anger back inside of me. I finally realized that he just wasn't worth it. I let go of the anger, I'm civil to him if I have to see him. It's helped me alot because I don't waste my energy on hating him anymore. Don't let her have that much power over you, she's not worth it. You are a wonderfull person and you know what? It's her loss!

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by Janet

Sounds like everyone is agreeing 100% on this Diana. It will probably be sad at her funeral. When people are allowed to say something like at your FIL....no one will want to say anything for her. What a big difference.

It was like that with my in-laws too. When my FIL passed...there were so many people, but he knew a lot, from the floral buisness. But when my MIL passed...there was mostly just family. Since it was a mixed family...I felt sorry for my MIL kids....(FIL stepkids)

Actually, when I go to town I have people all the time asking how my MIL is and telling me how wonderful she is. I just let them think that I agree with them and go on. Being in her family is different than being a friend.

Things are stirred up so we'll see what happens. There's some things that really need to be discussed.

My FIL always had a saying that went something like this.....

"If we were to take all of our troubles and pack them in a bag and place them in the middle of a room and everyone had to pick up a bag. I'd pick up mine and you'd pick up yours." Our troubles really don't seem so bad when we look at what someone else is going through.

Thanks so much for your support. I so appreciate each of you!!! {{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

[AngieDoogles]

I love that saying Diana. How true it is! I'm sorry that your "bag" is so heavy right now. Hopefully it will get better! *hugs*

[HALEY]

Originally Posted by DianaB

Actually, when I go to town I have people all the time asking how my MIL is and telling me how wonderful she is. I just let them think that I agree with them and go on. Being in her family is different than being a friend.

Things are stirred up so we'll see what happens. There's some things that really need to be discussed.

My FIL always had a saying that went something like this.....

"If we were to take all of our troubles and pack them in a bag and place them in the middle of a room and everyone had to pick up a bag. I'd pick up mine and you'd pick up yours." Our troubles really don't seem so bad when we look at what someone else is going through.

Thanks so much for your support. I so appreciate each of you!!! {{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

This is going to sound stupid Diana, but i got this from a poem i read, i have an old pine tree at my house, and when i get home from work, i always walk pass that tree and touch it, and i tell God i'm hanging my work problems on that tree, I never want to bring my work troubles home with me, and i tell God i'll pick them up tomorrow before i go to work, and like the poem says, there is not as many problems the next day hanging on that old tree...

[Shada]

Oh Diana, I am so sorry you are going thru this with your MIL.

It speaks for her character (lack of) that she felt the need to express in words how she fells. That was just wrong. I know you are a great mother and wife. Your only concern about this matter should be your children and husband. They know the truth. As for her, she also knows what a happy life you are making for her son and grandchildren. Don't let her push you out of family gatherings because of her mean mouth. Keep a smile on your face. Continue on as you have been doing. I would not do over do the welcome when I saw her, but I would keep a smile and let her know it doesn't bother me.

My ex MIL was the same. She did not hesitate to tell my husband how she felt about me in her family. Then she wondered why we were not close. Duh!! He always told me what she said. And it hurt.

Good luck to you. Hang in there. Prove you are the stronger one with class.
{{HUGS}}

[goofywife]

Hmm, see that is how sweet you are. I would say "really, you must see a different side of her than I do." I would shake my head with a confused look on it and walk away.

Originally Posted by DianaB

Actually, when I go to town I have people all the time asking how my MIL is and telling me how wonderful she is. I just let them think that I agree with them and go on. Being in her family is different than being a friend.

[Marilyn]

Diana, so sad that you and your hubby are going through this. There is no advice that I can give that has not already been expressed other than the obvious which I'm sure you are already doing, pray for her. She needs to repent and change her attitude or she may find that when her time does come, her reward may not be what she is expecting.