Help!!! Dating anxiety

judy · 10-08-2008, 05:32 PM

One of the men I've been emailing back and forth with asked me out in today's email! I'm going to go, but it's really hard to begin dating again. I'm scared about taking the risks relationships bring, plus having annoying bad dates!

I emailed him this morning and told him that I was not 51 (the age I put down in my profile). I said that if it was a problem, to please let me know.

I decided that I'm going to have to be honest. I am who I am - take it or leave it.
I will leave my profile age at 51 though. Otherwise nobody I want to be with is going to get in touch with me. It's just hows it is.

gja1000 · 10-08-2008, 05:40 PM

I can share your anxiety - but I just can't imagine dating again. I will likely lose my dear sweet husband to a cruel illness in a few years (that is if I don't get hit by a bus and go first!LOL), and I cannot imagine dating again. I just can not wrap my head around it. I work in a women's profession and I really prefer women's company to men (except my husband, of course). I've said many times that when my husband is gone, I will never date or be involved in a relationship with a man. I have never been hurt by a man. I love my husband with all my heart and soul - but when he is gone, I just can't see myself ever having a close relationship with another man. Of course, you should never say never......but that's the way I feel right now.

So, I have no words or wisdom at all. I can't even imagine myself in your position. I do hope all goes well and that you find a wonderful companion!!! I can only imagine the stress/anxiety. Hey, maybe it will be great with no pain! That's my wish for you!

Gina · 10-08-2008, 06:19 PM

Ohhhh Judy , how wonderful your taking the plunge on the dating scene. Yes it probably will be scary, but they say its like riding a bike you never forget how. lol

You must tell us the details how did you start chatting with him? Did you join a dating site like match.com etc.? Yes inquiring minds want to know lol.. I have no clue as to what to tell you for I have been with my husband for so long I forgot what's it like to date...lol On the second hand I do have friends who are divorced and are back in the dating scene and they are in mid 50's they just enjoy going out and having a companion. No one should be alone...

Judy you are a very attractive woman and I am sure he is going to fall in love with you...lol my advice just be youself and at this stage of the game you have nothing to lose.. Just go out and have a good time and don't expect anything and that is when all good things happen.....

Let us know how it goes... Have fun!!!

Mandy · 10-09-2008, 01:00 AM

Any guy with a right mind would adore you!
You go girl, just be who you are, if he doesnt like it, it's hes loss.
You are a beautiful woman, in and out!

Good luck, and keep us posted.

Marilyn · 10-09-2008, 03:38 AM

Just wanted to wish you the best, and stay safe!!! Realize that he may not be what he described either. Hope you enjoy your time with him.

Tiramisu · 10-09-2008, 05:11 AM

You go girl!

Janet · 10-09-2008, 07:49 AM

Way to go my girl friend!!!! You just have a great time and then come here and tell us all about it. OR you have my number...LOL.

Like Gina said...come on..give us some more details how this all came about.

I wouldn't mind having a companion, but I need to get rid of my husband first....LOL... I do know I will never EVER marry again. Once is enough for me.

Lindsey · 10-09-2008, 11:13 AM

Judy, I'm so excited for you!

Just have fun with it. Any guy would be lucky to have you!!

Dobie · 10-09-2008, 11:58 AM

How exciting - I hope the 2 of you really hit it off!

Gina · 10-09-2008, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janet

Way to go my girl friend!!!! You just have a great time and then come here and tell us all about it. OR you have my number...LOL.

Like Gina said...come on..give us some more details how this all came about.

I wouldn't mind having a companion, but I need to get rid of my husband first....LOL... I do know I will never EVER marry again. Once is enough for me.

Janet I am with you.. lol Companiship no marriage.. way to go!!! Judy have them wine and dine you my girlfriend.. lol

judy · 10-09-2008, 02:32 PM

I joined Match.com about 3 weeks ago. All 4 pictures have me holding Max!
My daughter commented on it - I didn't even realize.Well - love me, love my dogs. As I explained to Jessie, these are men who are looking at the pictures.
They see blond, boobs, somewhat nicely shaped. Anything else is of no importance to them.

I've been getting lots of "winks" and some emails. I think I winked at this guy first. We began emailing and I just wrote him back that coffee, brunch, lunch is a good idea.

I haven't heard from my Englishman in a few days. He was beginning to annoy me, so it's all good.

Bill is 52, has 2 teenage girls every other week? weekend? I don't know about that. We'll see. He just seems interesting and intelligent. He got involved in a government program to help waterfowl in his area, he built his own house, is divorced for 5 years, and looks good in his photos. I'm almost 10 years older than him. I'll let you know how that works out.

I'll keep you posted.

Janet · 10-09-2008, 02:45 PM

I think it sounds wonderful Judy. I wish my sister-in-law would have signed up on some program. She meets the first guy after a breakup and moves in with him. She drives me nuts.

If you think they are going after the hair and boobs...why not take a more conservative picture. Where a nuns habit or something...lol....j/k. Down play how attractive you are and you are ya know....a man would have to be blind not to want to go out with you. But they should go for you because of how smart, funny, witty ...you know....you are. Make sure they like Yorkies.

Also...don't let them pick you up...meet somewhere until you get to know them better. Ya don't need a stalker ya know. This is just so darn exciting...I can't wait to learn more. I'm living vicariously through you!!!

Gina · 10-09-2008, 03:07 PM

Judy most of my single girls friends have met wonderful guys on match.com.. Funny quick story my SIL sister is single and never married 53 yrs. old. She went on match and low and behold she found her future husband, get this now we knew him he grew up in Bklyn in our neighborhood was divorced, I knew his first wife and family , widowed and now marrying my SIL sister. Small world and good things to come about match.

Yes to what Janet said meet him at a public place no picking up from your home until you get to and like him . Janet I can fill you in on stories... lol Judy good luck when is your first date?

Btw Judy age is a number my girlfriend is 10 yrs older than her guy.

Mandy · 10-09-2008, 10:32 PM

Oh i wish we could go with you, and sit at another table just to be there for you incase you needed some moral support! Know you will be in our thoughts!
Like Gina said, age is a number.

Marilyn · 10-10-2008, 02:56 AM

I think we all need to be there. Judy, just picture us all at various tables around you when you are on your first date. J/k.

Knowing you met on Match.com should make it a little safer. Don't they check people out a bit?

10-08-2008, 05:32 PM	#1
judy Donating 4WT Yakker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Denver, NY Posts: 8,097	Help!!! Dating anxiety One of the men I've been emailing back and forth with asked me out in today's email! I'm going to go, but it's really hard to begin dating again. I'm scared about taking the risks relationships bring, plus having annoying bad dates! I emailed him this morning and told him that I was not 51 (the age I put down in my profile). I said that if it was a problem, to please let me know. I decided that I'm going to have to be honest. I am who I am - take it or leave it. I will leave my profile age at 51 though. Otherwise nobody I want to be with is going to get in touch with me. It's just hows it is. __________________ *Judy*

10-08-2008, 05:40 PM	#2
gja1000 Donating 4WT Yakker Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Central Texas Posts: 5,717	I can share your anxiety - but I just can't imagine dating again. I will likely lose my dear sweet husband to a cruel illness in a few years (that is if I don't get hit by a bus and go first!LOL), and I cannot imagine dating again. I just can not wrap my head around it. I work in a women's profession and I really prefer women's company to men (except my husband, of course). I've said many times that when my husband is gone, I will never date or be involved in a relationship with a man. I have never been hurt by a man. I love my husband with all my heart and soul - but when he is gone, I just can't see myself ever having a close relationship with another man. Of course, you should never say never......but that's the way I feel right now. So, I have no words or wisdom at all. I can't even imagine myself in your position. I do hope all goes well and that you find a wonderful companion!!! I can only imagine the stress/anxiety. Hey, maybe it will be great with no pain! That's my wish for you! __________________ Gayle

10-09-2008, 01:00 AM	#4
Mandy Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Who cares! Posts: 4,587	Any guy with a right mind would adore you! You go girl, just be who you are, if he doesnt like it, it's hes loss. You are a beautiful woman, in and out! Good luck, and keep us posted. __________________ Many people will walk in and out your life, but only true friends leave footprints!

10-09-2008, 03:38 AM	#5
Marilyn Donating 4WT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: South Texas Posts: 4,907	Just wanted to wish you the best, and stay safe!!! Realize that he may not be what he described either. Hope you enjoy your time with him. __________________ Marilyn If anyone would like a free Bible Study CD or book entitled "Searching for Truth", PM me with your mailing address and I'll send you one. "And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." John 8:32

10-09-2008, 05:11 AM	#6
Tiramisu Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: New Caney, Texas (outside Houston) Posts: 1,776	You go girl! __________________ SANDY

10-08-2008, 06:19 PM	#3
Gina Donating 4WT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 6,025	Ohhhh Judy , how wonderful your taking the plunge on the dating scene. Yes it probably will be scary, but they say its like riding a bike you never forget how. lol You must tell us the details how did you start chatting with him? Did you join a dating site like match.com etc.? Yes inquiring minds want to know lol.. I have no clue as to what to tell you for I have been with my husband for so long I forgot what's it like to date...lol On the second hand I do have friends who are divorced and are back in the dating scene and they are in mid 50's they just enjoy going out and having a companion. No one should be alone... Judy you are a very attractive woman and I am sure he is going to fall in love with you...lol my advice just be youself and at this stage of the game you have nothing to lose.. Just go out and have a good time and don't expect anything and that is when all good things happen..... Let us know how it goes... Have fun!!!

10-09-2008, 07:49 AM	#7
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,625	Way to go my girl friend!!!! You just have a great time and then come here and tell us all about it. OR you have my number...LOL. Like Gina said...come on..give us some more details how this all came about. I wouldn't mind having a companion, but I need to get rid of my husband first....LOL... I do know I will never EVER marry again. Once is enough for me. __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

10-09-2008, 11:13 AM	#8
Lindsey Donating 4WT Talker Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Saskatchewan Posts: 3,764	Judy, I'm so excited for you! Just have fun with it. Any guy would be lucky to have you!! __________________ Lindsey "I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it..." -Marilyn Monroe

10-09-2008, 11:58 AM	#9
Dobie Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 1,075	How exciting - I hope the 2 of you really hit it off!

10-09-2008, 02:32 PM	#11
judy Donating 4WT Yakker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Denver, NY Posts: 8,097	I joined Match.com about 3 weeks ago. All 4 pictures have me holding Max! My daughter commented on it - I didn't even realize.Well - love me, love my dogs. As I explained to Jessie, these are men who are looking at the pictures. They see blond, boobs, somewhat nicely shaped. Anything else is of no importance to them. I've been getting lots of "winks" and some emails. I think I winked at this guy first. We began emailing and I just wrote him back that coffee, brunch, lunch is a good idea. I haven't heard from my Englishman in a few days. He was beginning to annoy me, so it's all good. Bill is 52, has 2 teenage girls every other week? weekend? I don't know about that. We'll see. He just seems interesting and intelligent. He got involved in a government program to help waterfowl in his area, he built his own house, is divorced for 5 years, and looks good in his photos. I'm almost 10 years older than him. I'll let you know how that works out. I'll keep you posted. __________________ *Judy*

10-09-2008, 02:45 PM	#12
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,625	I think it sounds wonderful Judy. I wish my sister-in-law would have signed up on some program. She meets the first guy after a breakup and moves in with him. She drives me nuts. If you think they are going after the hair and boobs...why not take a more conservative picture. Where a nuns habit or something...lol....j/k. Down play how attractive you are and you are ya know....a man would have to be blind not to want to go out with you. But they should go for you because of how smart, funny, witty ...you know....you are. Make sure they like Yorkies. Also...don't let them pick you up...meet somewhere until you get to know them better. Ya don't need a stalker ya know. This is just so darn exciting...I can't wait to learn more. I'm living vicariously through you!!! __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

10-09-2008, 03:07 PM	#13
Gina Donating 4WT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 6,025	Judy most of my single girls friends have met wonderful guys on match.com.. Funny quick story my SIL sister is single and never married 53 yrs. old. She went on match and low and behold she found her future husband, get this now we knew him he grew up in Bklyn in our neighborhood was divorced, I knew his first wife and family , widowed and now marrying my SIL sister. Small world and good things to come about match. Yes to what Janet said meet him at a public place no picking up from your home until you get to and like him . Janet I can fill you in on stories... lol Judy good luck when is your first date? Btw Judy age is a number my girlfriend is 10 yrs older than her guy. Last edited by Gina; 10-09-2008 at 03:09 PM.

10-09-2008, 10:32 PM	#14
Mandy Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Who cares! Posts: 4,587	Oh i wish we could go with you, and sit at another table just to be there for you incase you needed some moral support! Know you will be in our thoughts! Like Gina said, age is a number. __________________ Many people will walk in and out your life, but only true friends leave footprints!

10-10-2008, 02:56 AM	#15
Marilyn Donating 4WT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: South Texas Posts: 4,907	I think we all need to be there. Judy, just picture us all at various tables around you when you are on your first date. J/k. Knowing you met on Match.com should make it a little safer. Don't they check people out a bit? __________________ Marilyn If anyone would like a free Bible Study CD or book entitled "Searching for Truth", PM me with your mailing address and I'll send you one. "And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." John 8:32

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