Ex... still!

[HALEY]

Aww hon, i was the same way, all my friends were married before me, i was in all of there weddings, i was the last and oldest of my group to get married, and i did marry the man that i will always love, i couldn't imagine life without Mike ( even though were going thru a rocky time right now).. but i was 36 when i got married, got pregnant on my honeymoon and had a baby at 37 years old, everything went so fast, i think that's why we fought all the time, We went from single parting free spirtied people with no responsibilitis to homeowners and parents really fast....
with way to many responsibilities and bills !!!
I know it hurts so bad to lose your other 1/2, maybe you still do want to get married and have a family? Take some time to really think about it.. Believe me you still can have a baby, i was "old" when i had my Micah, i wouldn't change it for the world, i love that baby more than life, he's what's keeping my married together right now..
Maybe the "wonderful man" your with, is not your other half you been looking for? Maybe take a break from him and try dating other people...

[celstu1]

The thing is, I don't want to take a break from the guy I'm with. I truely love him. He is the most wonderful, loving, kind, caring, smart, fun guy! We have a good time together, we have conversations, we don't fight every 2 mins (not that we never fight). My relationship with him feels so stable and comfortable. It has from the very begining. I am myself with him. In sooo many ways he is the best man I've ever dated! He is BETTER for me than my ex EVER was. My ex has a drinking problem for sure, a commitment problem definately, does not want to grow up, just wants to party and drink all the time, have a good time and spend TONS of money on all fun stuff. He went from owning a house with me, to moving in with a guy friend when we split. He just does not want responsibility at all.

I just want him out of my head and heart completely finally for good. I know it takes so much time, but its been over 3 years!! I did go to a counselor, I read every self-help book out there. I began to feel like something was wrong with me when I was not progressing by the book, so I stopped that and just started living normal life. I work, I go to school, own my own townhouse, have 2 dogs, a network of friends. I am NEVER not busy. He just creeps in when I least expect it, into my head that is. It just stinks!

[Gina]

I see that you are caught between a rock and a hard place.. My suggestion to you is do not give up on the proverbial dream which mostly every woman wants, marriage and children. You have been hurt big time for you spent so many years with the man whom you thought was your soul mate. He instead in which I am sure loved you but values his freedom the most. Therefore never committed to you. He tried to commit but got cold feet. Sadly you let him lead you on all those years thinking that he would marry you and that he would change.

Fast forward to today, you have met a wonderful man who loves you and wants to marry you, but does not want children. That would be unfair to you. You should really think about this if you marry him, can you love his children as your own? would you grow to resent him if you do not have your own children..


I think that you never got over loving your ex, even though you say you have moved on. You really haven't for these feelings would not surface. We all reflect back into time and think the following would have, could have, should have. It is normal. We all have past loves that may have not worked out and they do hold a special place in our hearts. Like some mentioned go to speak to someone whether it be a clergyman, or a therapist. To help you understand what your feeling and to help you truly move on to a healthy relationship.

Your present boyfriend may be wonderful but he may be on the rebound, and that is not fair to either of you. Get some help to put things in perspective and for all you know when you least expect it you will meet the right one. You are still young, don't settle. Good luck.

[celstu1]

Thanks ladies! I'm so blah tonight! Most of the time I am fine really, just 'he' creeps in once in awhile and throws my whole day off! I guess I just have to realize that truely moving on takes a LONG time! Yuck! I have heard that the first real break up is always the hardest, after that they get easier! I hope thats right, I dont think my heart will heal if it gets hurt like this a second time!

[HALEY]

Do you want to have kids of your own? This is something you really need to think about down deep. Like Judy said can you love his kids, knowing that your not going to have any of your own?