I'm a little nervous....

[gja1000]

Given the history, I think you are right to be nervous. I do think though, that the recent history is in your favor. SIL has seen what a good person you are and that you will help out when you can. He may be upset now (but maybe not) but I think he will be OK.

[gja1000]

Nina,
I used to keep my granddaughter every weekend too. I loved seeing her, but like you, I work fulltime, so I never had a "day off". She's 12 now, and I guess it was last year when she started having her own activities on some weekends, so she stopped coming over EVERY weekend. Although I miss her, I am secretly relieved to have a weekend off sometimes. This year, she is even busier and I wish she would come over more often! My daughter now has a two year old, but my daughter stays home with her and she is very attached to "mom" so she's not ready to come stay with grandma just yet. I don't think I will keep her every weekend like I did the older one. I'm older now, and I just need a break now and then.

[Nina]

Originally Posted by gja1000

Nina,
I used to keep my granddaughter every weekend too. I loved seeing her, but like you, I work fulltime, so I never had a "day off". She's 12 now, and I guess it was last year when she started having her own activities on some weekends, so she stopped coming over EVERY weekend. Although I miss her, I am secretly relieved to have a weekend off sometimes. This year, she is even busier and I wish she would come over more often! My daughter now has a two year old, but my daughter stays home with her and she is very attached to "mom" so she's not ready to come stay with grandma just yet. I don't think I will keep her every weekend like I did the older one. I'm older now, and I just need a break now and then.

I totally understand that. I really enjoyed having mine over on the weekends. We had so much fun! I miss those times, but I also need the time to rest on the weekends, even though I'm not working now. It's nice when my husband and I can spend a quiet weekend at home or do something together. I don't regret it, I have a very close bond to my grandchildren because of it. It's just hard, and I enjoy the time we have now even more because I'm not as tired all the time.

I'm sure when mine get to be your granddaughter's age, they won't have as much time for grandma and grandpa. But, that's the way of life I guess.

[DianaB]

Judy, what I would do is apologize to your SIL. Let him know that you would have been glad to have helped out if it had been planned in advance but since you had an appointment that it just didn't work out that you could at that time. Let him know that you would've if you could've.

[judy]

That might be a good idea Diana. This way he would know that I respect his feelings and don't just brush them off, and put everything out in the open. I would certainly have cancelled if it was an emergency, and I think he should hear me say it. Jessie already told him all of this, but that's not the same as coming from me.

My oldest gd called at 10 - when am I coming over? I better get dressed and bounce on over there! She's 11 and is near the end of her wanting to hang out with Grandma, so I don't want to lose out on any of it.

[judy]

I took your advice Diana. As soon as I got to Jessie's, I told Steve I was sorry about not coming over. He said not to worry about it - it's over. I said, no - we should have discussed it and maybe cut out some of their chores (which is what they did anyway) so that I could have come over after my appointment because I knew he didn't want to take the children in the car. He didn't say much, but I put it out there. Jessie told me I didn't have to do that because, as far as he was concerned, it was over and done.

I'm glad I did though because I want him to know that I care about his feelings.
I also wanted him to know that we should discuss these things and maybe compromise.

[DianaB]

I'm glad that it worked out so well for you. Good job, Judy!!!