How would you handle this?

[Taurus Babe]

Originally Posted by Sherry Lynn

Reminds me of the time I was in grade school and someone told me that the "F Word" was French for "love".

Well I went home and I was F-ing this and F-ing that.... F-ing everything!!! (What can I say... I was a loving child! )My poor mom had to explain to me that it was bad and why. That lead into the whole birds and bees conversation and I couldn't look at people with children the same way for a long time!!!

OMG that's too funny!!

[BabyNicole]

I don't "make" kids apologize. Just something I learned in college (teaching classes) that I agree with. If a child is truly sorry, they will apologize on their own. If it's forced, it's not sincere. JMHO.

[Janet]

Originally Posted by BabyNicole

I don't "make" kids apologize. Just something I learned in college (teaching classes) that I agree with. If a child is truly sorry, they will apologize on their own. If it's forced, it's not sincere. JMHO.

I agree it should be heartfelt, but the way I explained it is:

"You said something very hurtful and the hurt can go away if you apologize..but you have to really mean it or it doesn't help the hurt at all".

If you just tell a kid to apologize, it doesn't teach them anything, they need to understand what an apology is and why it must be a true apology.

[Willow]

Thanks ladies! I will remember the apology part if it happens again. Or should I still ask her to apologize to him even though it happened yesterday?

[Janet]

Originally Posted by Willow

Thanks ladies! I will remember the apology part if it happens again. Or should I still ask her to apologize to him even though it happened yesterday?

You could tell her that words stay with someone longer and ask if she feels an apology would help her brother. Maybe let her make the decision.

[BabyNicole]

Originally Posted by Janet

You could tell her that words stay with someone longer and ask if she feels an apology would help her brother. Maybe let her make the decision.

Good idea. She can apologize when she's ready, and if she means it.

[BabyNicole]

Originally Posted by Willow

Thanks ladies! I will remember the apology part if it happens again. Or should I still ask her to apologize to him even though it happened yesterday?

You can also "suggest" an apology. But let her make the decision. But, ultimately it's up to you!! You are the mom!! If I didn't apologize on cue it was: Either apologize or get whacked!

With the 8million kids it seems like live at my house, lol, I just tell them point blank that "we don't name call". If it happens again, I ask how they would feel if they were called _______ and that if they are angry that should say "I'm so mad at you" instead.

Of course, it still happens... and I still correct them... and one day they will realize that they love each other.

J

[Necee419]

I agree about the apology having to be heartfelt, but also maybe you can have the offended child tell the offender how he felt when she called him that mean name. Maybe if she sees how hurt the other child was, she will apologize on her own.