Dinner at my house

[Tiramisu]

Judy, I'm sorry you're going through this. I had forgotten how 12 year olds can act, but am starting to see it with my gdaughter, Christian. She respects me, but thinks she's smarter than me!!!!!

We're just doing the best we can do!

[judy]

I'm just going to be Grandma Judy, staying in the background, loving them all unconditionally.

I am angry about being put in this position Janet. Now I'm the bad guy, and Mackenzie wouldn't even take the phone when I was going to apologize for making her so upset.

I just hope this blows over very very quickly.

[Janet]

I'm sure it won't last too long... do something funny, they can't stand it when they are mad and then made to laugh....really breaks the tension....lol.

[gja1000]

Judy, I completely understand. I have a 12 year old granddaughter and sometimes I just want to throttle her She NEVER acts out when she's with just me, but when she's at home, she can be a little twit to her parents. Makes my jaw drop to see/hear the things she does/says.

Sometimes I think they are too hard on her though - I remember picking my battles with my daughter, I let some things slide because I just didn't want to fight that battle. My daughter and sil make my gdaughter tow the line and sometimes I feel sorry for her, but I can't say anything.

Anyway, she loves you, it will be OK and she will make up with you. It may take a little time, but she'll be OK (and so will you)!

[judy]

Originally Posted by gja1000

Judy, I completely understand. I have a 12 year old granddaughter and sometimes I just want to throttle her She NEVER acts out when she's with just me, but when she's at home, she can be a little twit to her parents. Makes my jaw drop to see/hear the things she does/says.

Sometimes I think they are too hard on her though - I remember picking my battles with my daughter, I let some things slide because I just didn't want to fight that battle. My daughter and sil make my gdaughter tow the line and sometimes I feel sorry for her, but I can't say anything.

Anyway, she loves you, it will be OK and she will make up with you. It may take a little time, but she'll be OK (and so will you)!

I know what you mean! They let her and the other two get away with things I would never allow, and then yell at them for such nonsense!

It's so good to be the Grandma and not the Mom anymore!

Janet - that''s a good idea. I will think of a funny thing to do. Thanks friend!

[Marilyn]

Awwww, Judy, so sorry you were put in this situation. I don't begin to know what a grandmother's role should be. I never really knew mine. One died when I was around 2, and the other had a stroke when I was probably 5 or 6 and was unable to speak after that. I'd have probably reacted similiarly to what you did given the same situation. It's hard when you can so clearly see what is happening. We're by nature fixers, and it takes real fortitude to not get involved. I don't know the best answer, however, given your history with Jessie and your SIL, it's probably best to leave it to them and just try to counsel Jessie the best you can to help her find ways to improve the situation, without her getting her feelings hurt. Not an easy task, but well worth trying.
Hugs....(((((((Judy)))))))

[judy]

My grandmothers were wonderful. I'm pretty sure that my Dad's mother never yelled at me (or anyone else, for that matter). I don't remember if my Mom's mother did or not. We had a large, extended family. Pretty much, whichever adult caught you doing something you shouldn't, yelled at you.

We all knew we were loved. Somehow, being disciplined meant you were loved and cared about. Different times, different values.

[Gina]

Aww Judy girls at her age are tough. I know I went through it. Your right just be grandma leave the discipline up to the parents. I know that you meant well but grandmas role is to spoil and love only. When she is older you probably would be able to speak to her but not at her age. Don't worry she still loves you she will get over it....