Need advice please!!

[Gina]

Mandy,

Diana has hit it on the nail the girl has had bad examples growing up and doesn't know any better. How could she when her mother sets no examples by dating a 24 yr. old. She is also at the age where girls hate their moms not really but they start rebelling in her case she has no real relationship with her.The poor child is hurting terribly. Does she go to therapy or have someone who talks to her ? She probably is shy too. You are threading water here, the wonderful ladies all have given you great input. I can only reiterate what most have said.


When she comes over say hello to her first , show her examples of proper etiquette along with reinforcement from your son for he knows how you and his dad feel about this. By staying over your home she will learn by example how a family life is suppose to be. The more you tell him you don't like her , he will rebel and continue to date her.. Set rules in your home , he is young . My son is 24 yrs old. I like his girlfriend a lot but I don't really approve of them staying in his room watching tv with the door closed. I expressed my feelings but it is a losing battle. Some may say it is your home, yes but I have no say in it. trust me I have tried .I do forbid her to sleep over no sleep overs.

Your son is young and should not have a steady in my opinion . He should be going out with lots of friends. It is hard for them to understand at this age. I have issues with my daughter and am stressing over her, that's another story lol one day when I am not busy I will post.

As they say this too shall pass, unfortunately like ourselves you learn as you mature. Speaking until you are blue in the face will not matter.. He has to find out for himself. I do believe when raising children get to know their friends. Mandy dear guide him , talk to him and pray for the best. I am sure your values are instilled in him by this age. So don't stress out to much.. Just be there and talk , talk , talk... lol... Hugs oxoxo

[gja1000]

I don't have any good advice at all - the ladies here have given you great advice, imho!

My concern would be her home situation. If mom has a 24 year old bf - is that bf "staying over"? If so, I wonder what is happening during those "sleep overs". Does the 15 year old feel safe? Is she safe? I would wonder if anything has already happened to her. Recently on one of the Yorkie boards, there was an off-topic thread about how "supposedly" good friends or bosses, committed rape - the initiating scenario was a 15 year old daughter of the person posting. So, my mind automatically goes to wondering if she is safe in a situation with mom's 24 year old bf.

I know, I know, I'm thinking the worst, which probably isn't true, but in my profession, we see the worst, so it is always in the back of my mind.

[Mandy]

The girl does have issues, i spoke to my son yesterday he said she is quiet at home too and never speaks much, but i will have a little chat with her.

Gayle, that same thing has crossed our minds too, i know it's not right to think things like that but we do live in a strange world!!
I have told my son the same thing, and God forbid, but if ever i find out that he layed a finger on her, i will personally pay him a visit!!
I dont like to judge, it's nicer to see the good side in people, but i dont know whats up with the mom to have a 24 yr old bf, and yes he does spend weekends there, but my son's girlfriend lives with her dad since 2 months ago.
She doesnt get on with her mom, aparently they had a big fight and she took off to her dad.

I will keep an eye on things.

[blowry]

Morning Mandy....I have to agree with Gayle too...I worked for and agency that counseled abused children. I too would wonder about the 24 yr old boyfriend and wonder what is happening at her house. I would sit and try to talk to her and see if she would open up to you. I am a Mom to 2 girls. Erin is 30 yrs old and Courtney is 25 yrs old. I have learned, through my years of motherhood, if you forbid them to see someone they will want to see them even more...It's a teenage thing! I had an issue sort of like this with my oldest when she was a teen...she was hanging around with a group of kids that I DID NOT like! The more I told her she couldn't hang around with them the more she would...and she would sneak to see them. Even though it was beyond my better judgment, I would allow them to come to my house. I felt this way I could keep and eye on things...eventually she saw what I was trying to tell her and she stopped hanging around with them. He is only 17...this is a tough age...I'm sure this probably won't last forever. Bringing up teenagers today is very tough...I wish you luck!

Big ((((((hugs))))) to you

[HALEY]

WOW, why is everyone picking on the mother? If i look good if im ever single again i would love to have a 24 year old stud!!!

[DianaB]

Mandy, how are things going with the girlfriend?

[judy]

Originally Posted by HALEY

WOW, why is everyone picking on the mother? If i look good if im ever single again i would love to have a 24 year old stud!!!

You would be surprised Haley! At a certain age, normal, young, beautiful men in their 20's are not attracted to women in their late 40's except for the sexual experience, something to brag about and maybe because they need a "Mommy."

They also have pretty much nothing to talk about that would interest a mature woman.

JMO

[HALEY]

Originally Posted by judy

You would be surprised Haley! At a certain age, normal, young, beautiful men in their 20's are not attracted to women in their late 40's except for the sexual experience, something to brag about and maybe because they need a "Mommy."

They also have pretty much nothing to talk about that would interest a mature woman.

JMO

yea i guess your right, but what about all these guys with young woman,, i guess there just sugar daddy's... if i was single again, i might just try out a young stud for awhile and then move on.. LOL...