I'm just so tired.....

[Janet]

Marilyn......are you feeling any better?

[HALEY]

The past two or so years she's been home, either pregnant or taking care of her little girl who will be 1 in August. I envy her. She gets to be home all day with her little girl. Go shopping when she wants, watch TV when she wants, work on crafts or whatever.

Maryilyn, you envy this woman! oh my, when i was home with Micah on maternity leave i don't remember having time to go shopping, watch tv or work on crafts! Micah was up every 4 hours! when he slept i either slept or was washing tons of baby clothes or cleaning the house.. when you talk to her again please let me know her secret.. LOL... anyways i do hope you are feeling better today. as everyone already told you, you really need to learn to say NO to some of these people that are pulling you in so many directions.. you need some Maryilyn time!!!

[Marilyn]

I'm feeling a bit better. And yes, I have great envy for anyone who is able to afford the luxury of staying home with their children. I was never able to do so. As soon as the doctor said I was well enough to return, it was back to work. Since graduating from high school, I've either been going to college or working all but 6 months of the time. When in college, I went straight through, summers and all. I was off for maternity leave and right back to work. When I was dealing with my mother and her alzheimers, going to doctors and in the nursing home, I was working fulltime and raising two little girls with a husband who was also working more than 40 hours. Mother became ill in 1995 and passed away in 2000. In 1995 my oldest was 10 and youngest was 8.

So after all of this, I'm a bit bitter when I hear women who do not work outside the home complaining about all they have to do. I wanted so badly to be home with our children, but we never could afford for me to do so. Now we can't afford for me to retire. It never ends!!!

Work all your life for what??? I can cry real easily thinking of all the things that I missed out on. People say we have choices in life. Well mine were made for me.

You hit a cord. Just had to vent!!

[Janet]

Marilyn....in some way....I think I understand. If I could go back and change some things...I would. In my case...I was easily manipulated and decisions were made for me too. I'm so angry at times that I didn't do what I wanted to do instead of what was thought best without me really having a vote.

I hope you can come to terms with the past and know that we all have regrets, some big, some small. If I let myself dwell on it....it's horrible. So, it's something that I pack away. We can't go back...so I try hard to leave it in the past.

[DianaB]

For us, Marilyn, the choice of me staying home with the kids was not a luxury. It was something that my husband and I felt strong enough about that we were willing to for-go the extras that would have been available had I worked. I know that it appears that we are well off but we used to live in an old house that went with our farm with a trailer house attached to have enough room and bathrooms for the kids. I always drove older vehicles because we just didn't have the money for newer.

We all made choices that we've had to deal with. I wish that I had gone to college and done something in that direction. I like to think that I'm pretty knowledgable and I would have enjoyed doing something with that knowledge, but at the time I was raising kids and helping my husband.

Marilyn, We all have things in our past that we'd like to change but you did what you thought was best at the time and if you were back in that situation again you'd probably make the same decisions. See what you can do now to cut back on work and find some time for yourself. I think that you're needing some Marilyn time.

[Tiramisu]

Marilyn, I envy people who can stay home with their kiddos, but can say that mine turned out ok, with working parents, and it sounds like yours did too. Ya gotta wonder if some kiddos are better off with their parents working and being cared for by others! I agree with your vent.

[judy]

I think we all have regrets in one way or another. I chose to stay home with Jessie until she was 4 when I went back to college. I did work part time when she was a baby, but I was home with her most of the time. Of course, I didn't have 2 nickels to put together to make a dime, but that was my choice.

College was also my choice, as was graduate school. I regret being in school and working in the lab for my doctorate too much. I wanted to spend more time with Jessie, and finally left grad school with a Master's Degree when she was around 8 or 9 years old. I loved being home for her. I never worked full time until I began to work for the school system.

But, I had no money! Jessie regrets that. I don't.

I do regret not doing something more with science. I thought about becoming a chiropractor because you can work at home, and make good money. I really can't complain about having been a teacher because now I get a nice pension,but I really didn't use my love of science as much as I would have liked.

You really can't get away without some regrets I think. You have lovely girls, and a good marriage, so even though you might have wanted it to be different, you have done a great job!