my life just sucks

[lynne b]

I have been careing for my parents for at least the last 5 yr's, maybe longer. first it was my father till he passed 3 yr's ago and now my mom. She had a dr. app. yesterday so i called her early in the morning to make sure we were still on schedule and she said she just felt very bad shivering and a temp and she was very out of it, well her app wasnt till 2:20 pm so i called the office to see if i could get in earlier they said be there at 9:50 am , It usually takes me 45 min to get to her house i made it in about 30 min or less but i still had to get her to the next town which is another 20 or 30 min drive , i made it on time to the app. but i am either gona kill myself or someone else one of these days i was driving 70 & 80 mph. well the dr admitted mom right away she had 103 temp and when they did x rays determined that she has ( I dont even know how to spell it) it's in your lungs and effects your breathing. they also did some other test today and have found that her spleen is enlarged so they want to send her to an oncoligist to have that checked out. she has several other health issues on top of these.
I have been looking at houses to rent or buy so that she can be closer to me so i can keep MORE of an eye on her as well as my oldest daughter, i am just so exhausted from everything and feel like i am getting no where. I have 3 brothers but for reasons too numerouse to mention it has all fallen on my shoulder's.
Janet and i have swaped many stories about our mothers and i dont know what i would do without her. I broke down and cried last night for the first time in along time just dont know how much more i can handle, i also work a full time job , sorry for going on but everything is just catching up with me. Good news is mom will probably go home tomrrow but then i wont have the hospital people to take care of her I will most likely have to spend most of the weekend with her. dont get me wrong I love my mom and dont want anything to happen to her ,I am just so tired right now. Thank's for listening to me.
lynne